On The Horizon (Red Dead Redemption)
by VanDerLinde RDR2
Summary: Sequel to 'Van Der Linde Savior' The Van Der Linde gang has achieved what they've been fighting for their whole lives- freedom. Everything is good, everything is great and the family is prospering. So, what happens to finally tear them apart? How will the Williamson gang be born? Will Celina Knoll be able to save them?
1. Chapter 1

There of course had been bad times even after they had reached their destination as far to the west as they cared to go. Lots of good times, but also hard times, sad times... Hosea's illness had finally caught up to him and well... he had had about five good years with them at their new place, their home. That still of course didn't make losing him any easier, no, not at all. All of them had taken it hard, it had been as if the world had ended when he took his final breath, his frail hand in Celina's as she and the others said goodbye to the man they had almost all looked up to. For some of them- like Celina, he had been like a father.

Dutch, even with it having been a little over a year ago at the point they were currently at, was still recovering from the tragic loss. Celina could hardly hear about the old man without tearing up and having great sorrow engulf her.

The six and a half years she had been with the gang had been the greatest time of her life. She had no regrets, none. But losing Hosea? Life wasn't and wouldn't ever be the same without him.

John, Abbigail and Jack had broken off from the gang after Hosea's death, Arthur and Celina giving them the official permission to leave when Dutch had spent the following two months being unbearable. Everyone coped with loss differently, but Dutch? Dutch had gotten mean like a part of him had died along with the man. As if his death had triggered something to snap mentally.

It was hard, watching Dutch struggle and John, John just hadn't been making it any better. Everyone saw that and some took Dutch's side knowing that his behavior was caused by unbearable grief. It was weird, Celina thought, to see Dutch so incapable of pushing his emotions back like he usually did, like he probably would have if it had been anyone else's death that they were faced with.

As far as him getting mean, it wasn't that he had hurt anyone, physically... but he had been sharp and careless with his words. For that two months it was as if he had lost intrest in the world and everything in it. He hadn't cared to speak to anyone and when anyone had tried to speak to him, he hardly cared to respond. If he did, it had during that time usually been unkind.

Surprisingly, everyone but John and his family had stuck around in hopes of seeing Dutch break out of his depressed state. It had made her mad, made Celina mad how openly John was against Dutch for the way he coped with the loss of Hosea. Most of the gang was worried about Dutch, having never seen him how he had been before... with the exception of Annabelle's death long, long ago. That said, they did their best to patiently wait for their leader to rise back to his feet.

It was sad, in a way, to see John go off with Abbigail and Jack but really, John didn't want to be with the gang no more. He had made that clear with his sulking around camp and comments about 'Dutch's true colors' and nonsense. When Celina said that she and Arthur had given the Marston family permission to leave, really, she meant they had all but asked them to do so if it's what they wanted.

Turns out, it had been what they wanted, so they had left that night and to that very day, a year later, they still hadn't come back. The joke truly had been on John though because a short few days after his departure, Dutch had suddenly changed his behavior back to that of the Dutch they all knew and loved. That proved to bring light back into their home, seeing their leader finally come back to them with a healing heart. The funk that Dutch had been in for those two months after Hosea's death had applied to everyone except Celina... and, well... their son, James.

James had been born just a few years prior to Hosea's death and with what a father Hosea had been to Celina, it only felt right to refer to Hosea as James' grandpa. Hosea had loved that, having a so-called grandson. Seeing the two of them together was truly something, Hosea telling her whenever he held him that it was like a dream come true to have a grandson.

If Hosea and James were cute, then Dutch and James were absolutely heart-melting. Dutch with his son had to be the cutest thing ever on earth. It was just, the amount it warmed her heart to see the two of them together, was almost unimaginable. The way that Dutch's face lit up when James was around was just... it would have made anyone believe that everything was right in the world and that any hint of worry was miles upon miles away.

They had bought the land that they resided on almost immediately upon finding it six years and two months ago. In tyke first six months, they had pitched together as far as labor (Uncle excluded of course... although he thought otherwise) and turned their sixty acres into a home. A true home right in the middle of nowhere where the law wouldn't think to look for them, where a soul wouldn't bother them.

It may not have been Australia or Tahiti, but it was their home and all of them felt free enough that they were content with the thought that that would be their home for the rest of their lives. It turned out that freedom didn't have to be being able to get up and travel wherever they wanted with no ties to the last place they had been.

No, freedom was what they had at the present time. Freedom was what they had found upon laying their eyes upon their land for the first time. Freedom was knowing that they were going to live out their lives away from the law and in peace with the ones they loved.

Freedom was knowing that they were going to prosper and thrive without one outside helping hand and without the rules and influence of society. Freedom was looking at their home and watching it grow for the better, knowing that it was all theirs from the livestock to the crops, from Pearsons butcher station to their plates. It was all theirs from the houses they had built to the barn. From the ground up, it was all there's and no one could... or would even dare to take it from them. Freedom was the ability to live the life they had created for themselves and to bask in the enjoyment of it.

Freedom was what they had. The fact they had done all they did, lived the lives that they did and still remained alive, living good and uncaptured by the law, that was freedom. Freedom was being able to still steal- lowkey anyway without people having the chance to alert the law mostly because the victims didn't realize what had happened before the gang made their escape. Freedom was what they had right then and there and it was what they had had for the last six plus years. Celina loved it, it made her feel complete in a way that let her know she would never want to live any other way.

Sadie had relented a couple years ago and said yes when Arthur had proposed to her. The engagement hadn't lasted long before Hosea had married the two of them. None of them had known before the point that Hosea had offered that he was even qualified to do such a thing. The old man had been full of interesting life experience until his last breath. How they all missed him so dearly.

There were several houses on their property, there was Dutch, Celina and James's home which they had previously shared with Hosea, there was Arthur and Sadie's... Sean, Lenny, Mary-Beth, Tilly and Karen's. The list could go on about the sleeping arrangements of the gang, but it wasn't necessary. All that mattered was that everyone had a good roof over their heads now, a solid roof that would last years to come.

Celina yawned and rolled over in the bed, snuggling up beside Dutch who lied still asleep and shirtless beside her. He was beginning to grey in his temples and she would be lying if she said that she wasn't loving it. Not only was it incredibly sexy, but it was fun to tease him about as well. She threaded her fingers through his chest hair affectionately, something that she loved to do and he loved to have done.

The sunlight was creeping in through the window of their home and she forced herself to sit up. Dutch? Well, Dutch in his semi-retirement had gotten into the habit of sleeping in. Celina smiled at him fondly as she climbed out of bed and slipped her nightgown off and walked over to the dresser to find herself something to wear for the day.

Dutch opened his eyes slowly, taking in the form of the beautiful twenty-nine year old woman standing across the room in nothing but her undergarments, "Well you're looking fine as ever."

Celina turned back around to him and rolled her eyes playfully, "Perv."

Dutch smiled, "That's what happens when you're getting to be an old man. You become a perv."

Celina laughed again and left the dresser, making her way over to him and climbing on top of him, "As long as you're only a perv to me, we won't have a problem."

Dutch chuckled, "You have absolutely nothing to worry about there."

"Ok," she pointed at him, "I better not."

"Mom?" The bedroom door began to creak open as James pushed at it.

Celina and Dutch's eyes widened at the fact that she was indecent and Celina quickly called out to the four year old boy, "James, don't open that door. Close it and wait there for mommy, ok?"

There was a tiny litttle sigh and a 'yes, mum' before the door clicked shut. Celina exhaled slowly, not having realized before that she had been holding her breath. She shook her head and looked down at Dutch, "You can blame that son of yours for not getting any this morning."

Dutch laughed again as she climbed off of him. Dutch had been laughing a lot lately and it was good. It made Celina feel good to feel like for once, Dutch was well and truly happy. She kissed him on the cheek and went back over to the dresser, quickly slipping on a pair of pants and a shirt. Dutch kept his eyes on her, "You're an amazing mother, you know that?"

Celina shrugged and ran her hands through her hair in attempt to get it to lay right, "I couldn't be an amazing mom if you hadn't made me a mom to start with."

"Well," Dutch drawed and sat up, "Technically, he could be Bill's."

Celina fixed him with a hard look, not exactly knowing if he was teasing her or was on the brink of getting sour all over again due to what had happened about five years ago, "I thought that we agreed to leave that behind us."

Dutch shook his head and climbed out of the bed himself, wearing absolutely nothing. After being with Dutch for several years, the effect of having him naked before get wasn't enough for her to lose focus on the words coming out of his mouth, "I'm just saying." She still couldn't tell what he was feeling at the moment, "It could be possible."

Celina took a deep breath and hesitated at the door, "I don't know if you're already trying to be an ass this early in the morning or not but you better stop before James hears you. And if you're still sour about it, I don't know what to tell you. It was five years ago and what happened was your fault as much as anyone else's."

Dutch just chuckled, "I understand that." He walked over to his dresser and put on pants and a shirt as well, "You and good ol' Bill."

Celina rolled her eyes at him for the second time already that morning. Although Dutch had been doing better about Hosea's passing, sometimes he still reverted to asshole mode for no apparent reason. Although it wasn't typical for him to act like that towards her, he did sometimes. And when he did? It was usually always about her choices with Bill Williamson.

Everyone who had found out about the two of them- she and Bill, their first thought would probably be that she had cheated on Dutch. Well, she hadn't. In fact, Dutch, being the pompous ass he could be had went and found it acceptable after a rather big fight they had, to go and seduce Karen, claiming that things between he and Celina were never going to work out anyway if she thought that she was the one who ran the gang. Not only was it that one fight that caused serious problems between the two of them, but it had been the whole past month. One would say that they had truly hit a rough spot in their relationship where they had constantly been butting heads and fighting over some of the stupidest of things. One may chop it up to the their living arrangements which had been in effect at that time for only about a year. Hosea had actually taken it upon himself to move in with Arthur and Sadie during that point in time.

In fact, they had actually broken up after that argument that prompted him to sleep with Karen so Dutch, well... Dutch hadn't exactly cheated on Celina either. The arguement that had them broken up? It was about leadership of course. Dutch being Dutch had wanted to take the boys south a ways and see what jobs they could find claiming that they had spent a little over a year being real quiet and they could afford a little action, a little extra income than the usual gained by small robberies and selling crops and livestock.

Celina had not seen it that way at all, stating that doing anything to even catch the slightest attention of society was just a bad idea. She had acted like she was the one running the gang like she did every so often and Dutch didn't like that. Not one bit. As one could imagine, the fighting escalated quickly. Dutch's masculinity seeming to have gotten stepped on, causing him to fly off the handle at her.

Celina, in response dared to say something that she never should have said. What had she said that made both of them reach their limit with one another? Well, she had told him that if he led anyone out there, it better not be anyone he liked because he would surely get them killed. Not only that, but that he would lead the law right back to the gang and then it would be nothing but another bloodbath and she seemed certain that an army would come in search of them upon the next whiff they got of the Van Der Linde gang.

That had been a very bad night for Celina and Dutch. Now, five years later? It was of course just a memory, but one that sometimes still hurt. Dutch, upon the break up had for some reason found it appropriate to go and seduce Karen for whatever reason, Celina could hardly understand. It hurt though, to think that he had immediately went to her in such an intimate way. After over a year of having been together at the time, that's what he did when things had gotten rough between them. Broke things off in anger and then went to another woman for comfort.

Celina felt her blood beginning to boil at the present time just at the thought of what had happened. She had been told by Arthur who heard from Sean who saw everything beginning to happen what was going on. Unwilling to believe it, Celina had barged over to Sean's house and discreetly peered into Karen's room through her window to catch she and Dutch in the act. The sight of course had hurt and scarred her more than anything except of course, the death of Thomas.

She had been distraught and Bill... oh Bill. She had thought that the biggest man in the gang had feelings for her in the past. Despite the fact that he had never outright admitted it, she had almost known that they had been there. It did seem though, at that point in time that whatever feelings he had towards her had subsided. It seemed that he had gotten over whatever he felt for her months ago. Her belief that he no longer harbored feelings for her romantically was what kept her from feeling like she was using him in what happened next. She knew what she wanted, what she needed and if Dutch was going to do what he was doing with Karen, why shouldn't she do anything with any of the other guys. Bill... Well, really, she bet that he would be a good time. Plus, considering that she was certain be now only saw her as a friend or maybe a partner in crime, what could it hurt? She would have the fact that Dutch slept with Karen to justify her and so would Bill. Really, she wanted to hurt Dutch just as bad as he had just hurt her. She had felt like only then would he understand.

So, when she walked back away from the house fuming, and Bill stood there, leaning against a tree with a piece of straw sticking out of his mouth and asked her what was going on, she answered honestly.

...

"Dutch is with Karen, fucking her."

Bill's eyes widened at the news, "What? Are you kidding me?" He took the piece of straw out of his mouth, "Ain't the..." he seemed like he was losing his train of thought as he trailed off, "Ain't you together?"

She shook her head, "Nope, not now."

Bill assessed her quietly, he hadn't felt exactly the same towards Dutch ever since he had blown up at him back after they escaped Beaver Hollow over a year ago. Sure he loved Dutch, and of course he was loyal to him. But if Dutch were going to do that... Bill had been doing a real good job blocking out his feelings for Celina Knoll over the last eight months, so much so that no one, not even Dutch nor Karen would suspect that they were there. They were though, they certainly were and if Dutch had messed up that bad... Bill would be a fool to pass up the opportunity that he had standing in front of him... even if he only got to be with her once. To make things better, he had showered that morning. Bill shifted his weight from one foot to the other and assessed her petite body like a wolf sizing up it's prey, "Well..." he started, "Well are you, are you going to do something about it?"

Celina licked her lips, not breaking eye contact with him, "Do you think I should? Do something to make myself feel better?" She laughed and shook her head, hardly believing her own thoughts, "Because right now, I'd really like to have.."

Bill stared at her expectantly, waiting for her to finish the sentence that she had started. When she didn't as if she had chickened out, he prompted her, "You'd really..." he exhaled dramatically, "You'd rather have what?"

Celina licked her lips and shook her head, having truly chickened out in trying to get what she wanted, "Nothing, Bill. I don't want nothing. I'm just gonna go back to the house and... I don't know. I can't break up with Dutch for this, we're already over." She waved the idea off and began to walk away, "I don't know what I'm going to do."

Bill stood there in silence as he watched her walk away, a bit confused himself as to what was going on. He watched as she entered her house and despite himself, walked up to the door and knocked heavily on it. He barely got the third knock out before the door swung open and Celina caught him by surprise, pulling him into the house.

Ceiina stared up at him for just a second before crashing her lips onto his hungrily, demandingly. Bill was taken aback for a moment but kissed her back before kicking the door shut and pinning her against it, the two of them not being able to get enough of one another.

"Bill," Celina moaned, feeling him hard against her, "I-I want y-you." She could hardly get the words out with how he had her trembling with desire, grinding on her just right, kissing her with such desire. Bill broke their kiss and lifted her legs up onto his hips before carrying her in that fasion over to her couch and climbing on top of her before attatching his mouth to her neck in a way that was sure to leave a mark.

Celina arched against him with a long, drawn out moan of pleasure, "Please, Bill, fuck me."

"I will, I will." He promised, "But not yet." He continued his attack on her neck before progressing down her body, undoing the buttons of her shirt with one hand as the other massaged her left breast and he sucked and licked at the slightly exposed valley between the two of them before removing her shirt entirely.

Celina chucked the article of clothing to the ground before tugging at Bill's shirt demandingly and watching as he quickly discarded it with hers. What she saw did not disappoint. Sure, Bill had a bit of a belly on him, that was obvious but the man's thickness mostly came from muscel, muscel which had been naturally gained over the years. She was rewarded also by finally getting a good look of his big, barrel chest which she had several times been distracted by the hint of how he always left the first few buttons of his shirt undone.

The man attatched his mouth to her right breast and bit down lightly, making her cry out in pleasure before sending a knowing smirk up her way and trailing his lips further south...

...

Celina shook her head and took a deep breath, bringing her thoughts back to present time. After that day, she had never looked at Bill Williamson the same. There had been many times after that that things happened and she had had a conversation with Bill or two about feelings which he had always shut down, stating that he weren't the type of man she was looking for.

It had surprisingly hurt her somewhat and Dutch, well Dutch was livid about the fact that anything had ever happened between the two of them. But... Dutch, as Dutch was good at, had been the one to cause the whole thing and frankly, Celina was sick of it. She was too sick of Dutch's behavior to care and Dutch and Bill... well, they had kept their distance for that period of time which was about a three month period. It had taken another good month or so for Dutch to finally get over himself and forgive Bill and Celina for what had happened.

What happened between Celina and Bill one might ask to end things between the two of them? Surprisingly, feelings. At least from Celina's perspective, that's how it seemed. She, through spending more time with the outlaw had picked up on the fact that it seemed that Bill's feelings for her had not disappeared but he had been managing to hide them. As the feelings behave revealing themselves and Celina tried to talk to him about them, he began to withdraw from her.

Celina knew that a man like Bill Williamson wouldn't be someone to easily talk about how they felt, but she wanted him to. She knew that it made him uncomfortable and the teasing from the gang about their relationship didn't make it any better... but Celina... Celina hadn't minded the jokes, not really.

It had broken her heart the day that he pulled away from her completely, putting his walls up and insisting there was no way she could have the feelings she claimed to have had for him... not when he was such a drunk who so oftenly forgot things the way he did. It broke her heart that he wouldn't allow her to convince him otherwise and it was several months later before she even considered going back to Dutch again.

Things between Celina and Bill took a little longer to get back to normal than she would have liked. Normal being it not being hard to talk to him without feeling a pang of heartache. Normal being for Bill to awknowledge her and not make it his goal to keep his distance unless the attention he gave her was related to the baby she carried. He cared, that was clear, but he was hurt by his own beliefs that no one could convince him he was wrong about.

What had made things worse was the fact that it was a couple weeks after she and Bill had did it for the first time that she had her first sign of pregnancy. Her missed period. The timing of it all was what kept it on her mind continually, it was impossible to run a paternity test in the year it was so it weighed on her that she may never know who the father of her son truly was... Dutch? Or Bill?

Dutch, although it took him a little bit to forgive her about her relationship with Bill, had stepped up upon finding out that she was pregnant to be there for her should she need him. He knew there was a chance of the baby being Bill's and he had made it clear how much he hated that undeniable fact. He was there though, just in case the baby was his, with the hope that it was his child that the woman he had never stopped loving was carrying.

Bill had been good to her throughout the time they were together, and had actually confided his concerns about the baby possibly being his. He was worried for the future of the child that he was it's father and made it clear that he hoped the baby was Dutch's. That was his honest feelings about the baby, that if he was it's father he feared it would grow up to be a drunk and develop the memory issues that he had. Even after Celina and Bill had decided to end their relationship, for the month or so where they hardly talked, Bill would still come and check on Celina, showing concern about the child inside her. He cared, but he was hurt by what had happened between the two of them and he was scared that the kid would turn out his.

Bill's memory throughout the six and a half years she had known him had gotten just a tad bit worse. It was hardly noticeable but it seemed to her that he had been forgetting small things a tad more often as time progressed. It wasn't anything major, he seemed to remember everything just fine ninety percent of the time... but that other ten percent, although it was just brief periods of lapse in memory, it scared him. It scared Celina too to think that he may only get worse.

Celina opened the door to the bedroom, revealing James standing across the hallway and staring up at her, his little hands behind his back in the most adorable way, "I'm hungry mommy."

Celina laughed and took one of his tiny little hands in her own and led him towards the kitchen, "Common bud, let's get you some cereal."

"Is daddy coming?"

Celina nodded, her heart swelling with happiness at the way her life was. It was everything she had ever wanted, James, Dutch... Really, it was Dutch stepping up to the plate and taking on the role of James's dad during Celina's pregnancy that had got Celina to come back to him romantically. Ever since she had taken him back a couple months prior to James' birth, things had been good between the two of them.

Bill was still in the boy's life too of course being a member of the gang. As it was, he really was more of an uncle than anything to James. That was ok though, that's what Bill wanted, to keep his distance from the boy but still watch over him when need be. It was ok like that, not having Bill be any closer to James than any of the other guys. Bill didn't think he'd be any good for the boy and that...

Well, that was almost heartbreaking.

...

A/N: I know this chapter was a lot to process... skipped a little over than six years here and I know... Hosea :/ I really think I had to do it though, guys. Crucial and he got to live a longer and better life than he did in RDR2. A wayyy better death but let's face it, his health wasn't too good in the game and it was bound to catch up with him. Hope I'm not going to lose any readers because of Hosea's death..

As far as John, I know... but before anyone freaks out, he isn't living in his homestead at Beechers Hope, he isn't far away from the gang at all as we'll see in the next chapter.

Dutch and Celina... James, how cute are they?

Celina and Bill?

That's officially the first chapter guys and if you didn't notice, I made a newspaper as something that kinda gives a way a bit of what will be in Celina's future...

Please leave some comments guys and let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I do not own Red Dead Redemption 1 or 2 or anything associated with it.


	2. Chapter 2

"Dutch, would you get out here and eat before your cereal gets soggy?" Celina looked back in the direction of the bedroom after making each of them a bowl of cereal, "You look fine, love, I'm sure of it."

The door opened after a long second and Dutch stepped out, heading in towards the dining room, "I was, just taking care of something."

Celina raised her brows in realization and a knowing smile made it's way across her lips, "As long as you take care of me later."

Dutch chuckled and pressed a chaste kiss against her lips before taking his seat, "Of course, my dear, of course."

Celina sat down next to him and James at that and took a bite of her cereal, leaning back in her chair comfortably and looking at her boys, "We've got to find something to do today."

"Well I'm fishing." It was James who said this with such certainty that it made Celina laugh.

"You're fishing?"

James nodded and Dutch chuckled as well, ruffling his hair, "What makes you think you're going fishing, son?"

"Uncle Bill said he'd take me." The boy bounced up and down in his seat excitedly.

Celina had a look of surprise on her face and Dutch didn't look so happy, "Uncle Bill is taking you fishing, huh?"

"Yeah, he said we leave after breakfast."

"Hmph," Dutch sat his spoon down and looked at Celina who didn't seem to be bothered in the least, in fact, she looked pleased at what she was told, "Do you really think Bill needs to take him out fishing?"

This was something that would happen from time to time whenever Bill did make the decision to do something with James... Dutch would often be reluctant to comply with it. Celina shrugged, "It'll be fine. He won't let anything happen to him."

"Yea, as long as he ain't," Dutch made a drinking gesture which made Celina roll her eyes, "What? You want him out there fishing with him if he's drunk off his ass?"

Celina took a deep breath, "He won't be, Dutch. You know he hasn't ever been like that when he takes James out."

Dutch took another bite of his cereal, "There's a first time for everything."

The woman of the house nodded, staring at Dutch pointedly, "I agree. But there won't be a first time for that. I guarantee it." She then went silent, finishing off the rest of her cereal and then taking Dutch's empty bowl with hers into the kitchen.

Dutch stood up and followed her into said room, "I'm sorry, ok?"

Celina looked over her shoulder at him, "You're sorry? For what?"

Dutch sighed and gestured back to the young boy who still sat at the table, playing with his food, "About the Bill thing." He looked down at his feet, "I know you want them to spend time together. I just... I just worry."

"Bill's not real bright, Dutch. But he can think for himself and he's not going to let anything happen to James's. He's not gonna spend his time with him getting drunk either. He's entitled to his time with him." Celina ran her right hand through her hair and fully turned around to face him, "Please, just try to understand that."

Dutch took a deep breath, "I understand, I never thought he'd do anything to put him at risk intentionally. It's just, he does dumb things sometimes."

"I know." Celina laughed, not being able to deny it, "I've seen him do some things that clearly were not thought through." She couldn't wipe the smile from her face at the funny memories she had of Bill doing something stupid, not dangerous, just stupid.

Dutch joined her in laughing and shook his head, having some priceless memories himself, "Ok, well... I guess we'll cross our fingers and send him on out."

Celina smiled at Dutch and kissed him softly, "There's the man I love."

...

"There he is coming out of his house," Celina pointed James in Bill's direction as he exited the small cabin which had been built just for him, "Go get him, let him know that you're ready."

James looked back at his mother excitedly before sprinting off to Bill who looked at him in surprise at his eagerness, "Uncle Bill, uncle Bill. Are you ready?"

Celina couldn't help but shake her head as she approached, hearing James' excited little voice clearly, "I think he's ready, Bill."

Bill looked at her for a moment in confusion and then down at James and back to her. His brow furrowed in thought, "Ready? What's he ready for?"

Celina felt her heart sink, "You were going to take him fishing, remember?"

"Yeah, uncle Bill, stop pretending." James laughed thinking that the situation was a joke and reached up to grab at his arm, "We're going fishing."

Bill blinked and set his jaw, looking at Celina. He was scared, he had forgotten yet again and he was scared, "Right, we're goin fishing." He looked down at the small boy and his mouth twitched in a hint of a smile, "I'll go get the poles."

...

Flashback

"Well..." Celina started awkwardly, looking down at her hands instead of Hosea's face, "I don't really know how to... I don't really know how to say it, Hosea." She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, "I... I- I think I just may be pregnant."

Hosea about choked on his tea, "You're what?" When she just stared silently at him, he nodded, sitting his cup down, "Ok... I know that you and Dutch aren't together right now," he cleared his throat, "But does he know about this? I mean, if there's a chance he could be a father.."

Celina closed her eyes tightly, "There's a chance... that I'm pregnant. That, that may not be the problem."

Hosea's brow furrowed in confusion, "If that's not the problem, then what is dear?" He was on the edge of his seat in curiosity.

She in that moment forced herself to gather all her courage to speak the truth of her potential pregnancy out loud for the first time, "If I'm pregnant..." she started slowly, "There's a chance- a good chance, that it may not be Dutch's."

Hosea's eyes widened, "What? Who else's would it be?"

She cocked her head to the side and tucked in her lips before speaking, once his name left her lips, there would be no going back, "Bill's."

Hosea blinked slowly, "Bill?" When she nodded, he was quiet for another moment, "... Bill? You slept with Bill Williamson?"

Celina couldn't help but blush a bit as she nodded, admitting what she had done... What she was doing. It was quiet at the moment as in no one knew what was going on with Celina and Bill except for of course Celina and Bill. That said, what was going on was still very much going on, "Yea, I did."

Hosea reached out for his tea but then retracted his hand back to himself, changing his mind, "And did you think about what this would cause? I mean, if you're seriously done with Dutch... and Bill, he's a drunk, dear. Bill is nothing but a buffoon."

Celina licked her lips, "Common, Hosea, he's not that bad." She looked down at her feet, she was getting defensive over Bill Williamson? Well, of course she was. Wait, what? She shrugged, "He's actually... I don't know."

Hosea raised a brow at her and dared ask the question on his mind, "What kind of father do you think he'd be?"

"I... um... I don't know." She fidgetted with her hands, when she had started her relationship with Bill, she hadn't thought about the possibility of her getting pregnant with his child.

Hosea dragged his hand down his face, "You're going to have to tell them, dear. It's not going to be easy, telling them the truth. I imagine it'll scare Bill and Dutch... you know Dutch'll lose his head over the thought you may be carrying another man's child. He does love you, you know, no matter how terrible he can be at showing it."

"I know." Celina nodded, she felt like she was almost in trouble by the rather disappointed look on the old man's face. She stood up, "Thank you, I needed to get that off my chest before I..." she sighed, "before I tell them."

Hosea nodded, "You're welcome, dear." He was quiet for another moment, "You should pray that that baby isn't Bill's, just for the sake of genetics, you know? Last thing we need is for a Williamson Jr. to be running around here."

Celina scoffed, "Hosea." She shook her head at the tone of voice he used, and then asked a question of her own, "How long have you kniw Bill?" It hadn't been clear to her before exactly how long the veteran had been running with the gang.

Hosea drawed in a deep breath as he watched her sit down again, "He joined us in 1894, a couple years after he was discharged from the army... so about eleven years now, what's it to you?"

Celina shrugged, "In that first five years, before I came along... did he," she tried to make herself comfortable, "Did he have anyone, to your knowledge? Like do you know how he is, in a relationship with a woman?"

Hosea cleared his throat before shaking his head, eyes narrowed in suspicion, "Do you... do you have feelings for him?"

Celina sighed and stood up again, patting him on the shoulder before walking by, "I just might."

...

Present time

Celina smiled at the sight of the pair who were quite possibly father and son as they emerged from Bill's cabin a minute later, Bill carrying both fishing poles and James carrying a small bait bag, "You two look handsome, about to go fishing."

She meant what she said, she really did, but really, she was trying to hide the fact that a couple tears had slid down her cheeks at the realization that Bill had initially forgotten about taking James out fishing. Bill was only forty years old, eleven years older than herself and yet he already had a very beginning sign of dementia it was scary. She hated to think that he could quite possibly down the line keep getting worse and worse.

Her mind flashed back to one night when he had opened up to her about the brief periods of memory loss he experienced a bit more often than what should have been normal.

...

"I had something real good I wanted to tell you, just now!" Bill made a sound of mental anguish and slammed his hand on the table, "Damn it, you would have loved it. Now it's- It's gone." His face was redenned with anger and he shook his head in annoyance with himself, "Why can't I remember? I... I can't remember. I'm always forgetting shit! Damn it."

Celina had sat her beer on the table and scooted closer to him on the couch, taking his bottle out of his hand and sitting it next to hers, "It's alright, we all forget. It's ok." She kissed him before laying her head on his shoulder, "If it's that good it'll come back."

Bill huffed and wrapped his thick arm around her shoulders, "I'm, I'm always forgetting though, always." He raised his free hand, "It's... I'm afraid." He finally said, "I'm afraid what if I end up like my dad? He was a mean, crazy bastard, always drunken... and out of his mind." Bill shook his head, "By the time he died he couldn't tell his right from his left."

Celina had choked on an involuntary sob then, gaining Bill's attention, "That won't be you Bill, it... it can't be."

...

Celina snapped out of her thoughts at the sound of Bill's rather awkward voice, "Well.. thank you." He kept eye contact with her for a moment and looked down at James, nudging him gently, "Go on, tell your mom thanks."

"Thank you mum." James thanked her cheerfully and skipped away from Bill's house with the Veteran at his side.

Celina watched the two of them for a second or so, her heart aching, "Bill wasn't bad for that boy, not at all." She knew though that she would never allow James to start drinking, as long as she could keep him from doing so, just in case. Just in case he was Bill's son. She kicked her lips and turned on her heel, pushing the thought out of her mind as to how life could have been if Bill had believed her when she told him she loved him all those years ago.

Maybe it was better things had happened the way they had though because she had still loved Dutch at the time too. She hadn't been in love with Dutch at the time but she had still loved him. Maybe, maybe she would have ended up back with Dutch anyway... maybe that was just the way things were intended to be, Celina and Dutch.

She was in love with Dutch more than ever at present time, that wasn't a question. Still though, the question arose, what if she and Bill hadn't left things the way they had? Celina shook her head and walked away back in the direction of her and Dutch's home.

On the way, she was stopped by Flynn who was a black and white border collie dog. She crouched down and rubbed his belly when he rolled over, a smile on his doggy face and she laughed, "You're a good boy, aren't you, Flynn? You gonna go get your daddy?"

Flynn jumped to his paws and barked once, running off in the direction of John Marston who was making his way over to her with a smile on his scared face. Celina stood to her feet and smiled back at him in greeting, "How are ya, wolf man? How's life a literal five minutes away from the gang treating you?"

John chuckled and reached down to pet Flynn himself, "It's going good, just like it was when I came over here a few days ago."

"Well good, so are you going to come back yet?"

John shook his head, "Nope, I've got what I want. Abigail, Jack and I having our own lot? Couldn't be better, and with this guy." He pointed down at the dog at his side.

"You know, Marston," Arthur picked at him as he walked up, "They say dogs are related to wolves, no wonder the two of you get along so well."

John rolled his eyes but with an amused smirk, "Shut up, Arthur."

Arthur raised his hands in defence, "Hey, I'm just telling how it is. Dogs come from wolves, wolf ate half your brain. Don't you see the connection?"

Celina couldn't help herself but to laugh and John had to let himself laugh too, "How's James doing, Celina?"

She nodded, making herself stop laughing and answered John's question, "Good, he's out fishing with Bill now."

John looked surprised as his brows raised and he crossed his arms, leaning back slightly, "Well, that's good that Bill tries to be involved in his life. I can't say that I really expected that from him."

"Well why not, John?" It was Arthur who still had yet to learn to keep his mouth shut, "I'm sure he's out there teaching the boy how to hold a bottle right-"He was shut up when Celina drew her elbow back and connected it harshly with his side, "Damn," Arthur groaned as he doubled over somewhat and clutched at his side.

John laughed again and Celina held a proud smirk on her face as Arthur straightened up and have her a 'what was that for' look, "That crap ain't funny, cut it out."

John made a clawing action, "Rawr."

Celina raised a brow, "Don't you mean Aruuuuuhhhhh, like a wolf?"

That alone had broken any tension over Arthur's insensitive joke and had the three of them laughing once again. Celina walked out to the hogs, "Arthur, do you think you could get one of these guys to Pearson tonight? We're running low on meat."

Arthur nodded, "Of course, I'll take care of it here before long."

Celina nodded back at him and looked over at John, "Will you make sure that the chickens have food? And if not let someone know, I'm going to go and get started on milking the cows."

"Of course, I'd be happy to." John turned away from Celina and went off in the direction of the chicken coop as she went into the barn to get started with milking the cows.

When Celina opened the barn doors, she smiled at the sight of Javier in there, organizing the hay up in the hayloft, "Do we got enough room for the new load? We need to get it in before it rains tonight."

Javier nodded down at her, slinging another bale of hay until place, "Yeah, it should all be fine. I could use an extra hand though, maybe Charles?"

"I'll see what he's doing." Celina turned back around and to her luck, Charles was in sight out by the paddocks, "Charles, will you come in here and help Javier? He's too scrawny to organize the hay."

Javier, hearing her clearly, yelled back at her from inside the barn, "That is not what I said and I'm doing just fine... you know what? Screw you!" He then went on to ramble something in Spanish that Celina couldn't begin to understand.

Charles laughed at the exchange and pushed himself off of the fence he had been leaning on, "Yeah, I'll come help."

Celina nodded, "Good, thanks Charles." At that, she turned around herself and went back into the barn, sitting down on the stool next to one of the cows, she grabbed her bucket and began milking.

Charles entered three barn close behind her and climbed up into the loft to help Javier. Javier said something to him but Celina couldn't make it out. Really, Celina wasn't listening to whatever it was they managed to strike up a conveesation about but rather zoned out herself as she went about her cow-milking duties.

Living on the homestead was fun, she loved it and they had all made some great memories there. It was a lot of work though, undeniably but it paid off for sure. They had all the fruit/vegetables they needed from growing them themselves, they had all the meat they needed in the form of chickens, cows, pigs... they had a well for water. They had a barn for their horses.

If they were ever in the need of money, they could usually always get people to buy goods from them. In the case they couldn't? They had some savings still put back and it wasn't like they didn't do the odd small jobs such as robbing robbers and such- quietly.  
Celina yawned as she finished filling the first bucket and pulled the second one out. Almost all of them ate cereal in the morning for breakfast, it being fast and easy. That said, the milk was always in high demand.

"You falling asleep down there?" It was Javier who teased her from above.

She rolled her eyes, pausing in her current task, "No, but shouldn't you have that job taken care of by now? Slacker."

"We gonna fight." The Mexican laughed.

Celina laughed back at him, "Fine, let's see what you got then. You know what I think?"

"What?"

"That after going into retirement all you boys went and got soft."

"Oh, do you now?"

She couldn't manage to wipe the smile from her face at the 'trouble' she was getting herself into. After she filled the second bucket of milk, she addressed Charles who started down the ladder to grab the fresh hay, "How's your woman doing, Charles?"

"She's good," Charles looked over at her, his braided Mohawk flipping up onto his shoulder, "Thanks for asking.. how are you and Dutch?"

"Great," she smiled thinking about the man she loved, "He's a really good dad to James. A good man to me. He just had to learn how to be, you know?"

"I get it." Charles began throwing fresh bales of hay from the ground up into the loft to Javier, "Dutch hadn't ever had experience being a dad before that I know of."

"No, he didn't." Javier agreed.

"Well," Celina stood to her feet and held a full bucket of milk in each hand as she exited the stall, "He's a good one."

Charles continued to try to keep the conversion going, "Where is James anyway?"

Celina paused on her way out of the barn, "Bill took him out fishing."

"Bill did?" Charles inquired, his voice holding a tone of surprise.

Celina nodded, "Yeah, he does things with him sometimes, I don't see why everyone seems so surprised over it."

The native shrugged, "Still just don't seem like a real Bill- like thing to do, I guess."

Celina shook her head, "I've got to get this milk back to the house and see about getting it good to drink." She nodded to them in temporary parting, "I'll see you guys later."

...

Celina slowly opened her eyes from where she lied across the couch. With Dutch out doing who knew what and James out with Bill, she actually had the place to herself and had granted herself a nap. Now though, with the sound of the front door opening and closing, she was once again awake and curious as to which one of them had come home, "Dutch? James?"

James' small, adorable voice was the one to respond to her, "Hi mom."

She sat up with a smile on her own face, "Hi baby, did you and uncle Bill catch any fish?"

"We caught some," James walked over to the couch and sat down beside his mom, "Uncle Bill has them, he's frying them now."

"Oh, is he?"

James nodded, "Yeah, he told me to get you."

Celina laughed and stood to her feet, "Ok, I'll go see what he wants." She licked her lips, "Have you seen your daddy?"

"Nope." The little boy didn't seem bothered.

Celina's brows furrowed, where was Dutch exactly? He hadn't mentioned anything to her that morning about leaving and it wasn't like him to just do such a thing like leaving without a word. She nodded and swallowed, "Ok, well let's go see what Bill wants and then you might have to stay with him because... Dutch. Your daddy shouldn't be MIA."

"MIA?"

Celina laughed at how cute the acronym sounded coming from him, "Missing in action."

"Oh."

Celina walked out of their house with James' small hand in her own, immediately addressing Bill who sat on a log near the campfire, frying some fish as he said he would, "Hey, Bill?"

Bill looked up at her, "What is it?"

"Have you seen Dutch?"

Bill thought for a moment, "No... no, I haven't seen Dutch. Saw him a little earlier but nothing after that."

"Hmm..." Celina shook her head, she was sure he was fine, if he wasn't back soon then she would go and look for him. Looking over to the corral, she saw The Count was gone, so he had to have voluntarily went somewhere. She sat down on a log across the fire from Bill, James quickly taking a seat beside her.

...

After the gang had eaten the lunch that Bill had brought back and cooked up for them and there still wasn't any sign of Dutch, Ceiina began to really worry. The best she got for an answer of his whereabouts was from Javier who he had apparently told he was going 'out'. Apparently, he hadn't elaborated.

Celina took a drink of her water and looked over at Arthur, "Will you... will you ride with me? See if we can't find Dutch? I'm worried about him."

Arthur nodded and stood up, "Of course." He sqeezed Sadie's shoulder, "Would you like to come?"

Sadie nodded and finished off her fish, "Of course."

Celina dipped her head gratefully to the two of them, "Thanks you guys." She looked back at the rest of the gang, not wanting to pass off watching James soley onto Bill, "Will you guys watch James for me please? Hopefully we'll be back soon." Several of the gang nodded without hesitation and Celina sent a smile of relief their way, "Thank you." She turned back to Arthur and Sadie as she walked away from the camp fire, "Let's go."

...

A/N: Thank you all for taking the time to read! Let me know what you all think of this chapter if you would, please :)

Revealed some more flashbacks which I thought were satisfying/interesting. So... yep, Celina had fallen in love with Bill but we can see how that turned out.

Any thoughts on Dutch's whereabouts?

Also, I'll probably be bringing Aiden back into the story some more. Any wishes there?

Disclaimer: I do not own Red Dead Redemption 1 or 2 or anything associated with it.


	3. Chapter 3

Aiden sat in his seat in American History class and fidgeted with his pen impatiently. Wrong, wrong, wrong. So many of the presented essays on the Van Der Linde gang had been blatantly wrong. They were stupid and people's theories were absolutely ridiculous. Due to being born into the family he was, he kept himself educated on the gang through actual things passed down through his family as well as stories. Other people were wrong and it was ticking him off. Presently, Jessica Wilson was standing in the front of the class twirling her brown hair as she red her essay.

"... Me, personally? I don't believe that you can be any better of a person than the company you keep. So, in conclusion, I think that Celina Knoll was as messed up as the rest of the gang. Standing for such a ridiculous and unattainable thing as anarchy. I mean, think, if we think, the answer is clear. Everything that she had done during her life with the gang? A good person wouldn't have done such things. Killing as much law as she did. Being with the Van Der Linde gang was bad but her affiliations with the Williamson gang? That was like walking into a lions den for a woman and I think because of that... because she was willing to do what she did for Bill Williamson, let alone Dutch Van Der Linde while knowing what type of people they were? There was no way that she could have been a good person. I think personally, that the end for her was the only ending she could have had. Ultimately, it is what she deserved, and I am shocked that it didn't happen sooner. Much sooner. You can't run from the law forever."

Aiden was growing more and more livid by the second so much so that his face was turning red and his fingers were itching to grab the swiss army knife he constantly kept in the pocket of his jeans. He had spent forty minutes for the past two days listening to essays about the gang which for the most part, he did not agree with in the slightest. A good portion of the essays weren't about Celina nor Dutch, but the ones that were, the ones that were.. he felt as if his classmates were personally trying to taunt him by their choices of gang members. "Mr. Van Der Linde, you're up next."

Aiden stood to his feet slowly, grabbing his papers off his desk and starting up to the front of the room, leaning on the podium provided to them as he stared down at his essay, "Who am I writing this essay on, you ask?" He glanced up at the class and straightened his stance, "Who do you think?" He couldn't help it, his words were growing cold and bitter as he thought back to what everyone else had said before him. "This," He rolled up the sleeve of his flannel shirt and raised his arm to that everyone could see the watch that he wore, "This is my great-great uncle Arthur's watch. It's a watch that he had swiped off of a Lannahechee River boat back in 1899 after 'winning' at a poker match. A high stakes one he had no business being at. From what I was told, he had every intention of selling it but never got around to it. So, it's mine now." Aiden licked his lips, he wasn't reading off his essay, not at all anymore, "I have an old army knife that used to be my great-great uncle Bill Williamson's. Of course, not uncle by blood, but uncle by heart." He took a deep breath, "My point is that I have a lot of old artifacts from the Van Der Linde gang that has been passed down from generation to generation with stories behind them." He looked back at Mrs. Clouse to see that even she was giving him her interested and undivided attention.

Aiden folded up his essay and politely set it on her desk, "Today, I am not going to read my essay. I don't need it to tell you exactly what you need to know to change your- maybe change your simple minds about my family." He tapped on the podium, "You see, the Van Der Linde gang, only by blood am I related to Celina and Dutch. But in heart, the gang was a closer family than a lot of blood families back then and even today are. Today, I still consider the whole gang my family, and I always will. Always. That's how I was brought up, with stories and things of theirs just like you guys may have been brought up with stories and things of your relatives." Aiden locked gazes with several of his classmates who had in the last couple days almost literally made his blood boil, "My family is no less family to me than it is to you. I want you all to think about how you would feel if we stood up here picking apart your families instead of mine. How would you feel?" Aiden laughed sharply, without humor, "I can guarantee that no matter how much you look down on my family, a lot of your families history is not going to be pretty. Not from the 1800's or even possibly early 1900's. We're talking slave owners from the 1800's- people disgustingly racist and even worse! Your families, their not perfect either and who knows? Maybe some of your families were outlaws. Let me tell you this," He took a deep breath, "There were a lot worse people- a lot worse gangs than the Van Der Linde gang. History only has recorded what it wants you to know and a lot of it is going to be biased by the view of the law. Do you know how much good my family did for the less fortunate people back in their time? They were defenders, protectors. The freed slaves! The killed the truly immoral, wicked people of this earth that they could. My family may have been outlaws, thieves, killers... conman. They al killed but that wasn't to go to say who they were, just what they did. They lived by their own code of morals, not laws. I am here to tell you that they were not bad, not at heart. They did what they had to do when they had to do it to stand apart from a government they all truly believed to be corrupt."

Aiden paused for a moment, shaking his head and running his hands through his thick black hair which he kept styled like Dutch, "My family was just as human back then as yours was. They just had different views on the world is all. People willing to lay their lives down for love and what they believed in? People who were ready to fight for what they stood for until their final breath? Those, to me are heroes." He took his watch up and held it up so everyone could get a better look at it, "This watch? The fact that Arthur never got around to cashing it in proves that it wasn't about money to the gang. This watch would have brought in quite a bit of money if that's all that mattered to them. Yet, he never got around to it, even after twenty- thirty years of having it. The knife that I have of Bill's? Well, I don't have it on me," That was a lie, "But would you know, it held extremely special value to my great-great grandma. You see, after the gang was separated, that's all Celina had of Bill. Could you imagine how she felt when she caught wind on the Williamson gang? What I've been told is that she held this knife and cried and cried and cried over what Bill had become. Those of you who believe she was in love with Bill, I think it's possible you're right or at least she realized that she was still in love with Bill too upon finding out about the Williamson gang... but when it came down to it, she was more in love with Dutch. That is proof enough that you can be in love with two people at one. I strongly believe it, and you can't tell me otherwise." He licked his lips, "Why else would she have left Dutch with her kids and trekked down to Fort Mercer alone? Why else would she enter the falls of that fort knowing very well that it was practically the equivalent of a lions den for a woman?"

He put the watch back on, "I suppose that is really all I have to say other than the fact that I do not believe any of these people were truly bad at heart. I mean, we will never know exactly what happened when Celina first stepped foot into Fort Mercer... we will never really know a lot of things. Some things just, over the years- over the decades I should say, were never told and I can't speak for all the gang members. I don't know a whole lot about all of them. I will not though, and I mean will not, go to the internet or books to solely determine how I think that the gang members were in person. Doing so would be biased and flawed. In conclusion, I think it is wrong for all of you to slap your beliefs upon their reputations as you never knew then and never will. I, I truly believe they stood for the only way of life they believed in, they fought for it, and they loved one another. The did what they had to do to protect each other." Aiden dipped his head at the class and made his way back to his seat, "Thank you."

...

 ** **Present Time****

Celina rode Bullet at a canter alongside Arthur and Sadie upon leaving their homestead in search of Dutch. Celina couldn't help but feel paranoia to beginning to creep in, "You guys don't think he went and got himself captured by the law or bounty hunters, do you? Because I wouldn't think he would. He's smart, real smart for that. I wouldn't think that something like that would happen. And he never leaves without telling me first. Never, I don't, I don't understand."

Sadie looked over at her with a sympathetic look, "We'll find him sweetheart..." She was silent for a moment, a bit afraid to say what was on her mind, "You don't think that... not saying that he would be. But, you don't think that Dutch would ever be unfaithful to you? Do you?"

Celina drew in a deep breath at the thought, immediately growing mad at Dutch just at the thought although she shook her head, "No, I don't think he would do something like that. Ever since a few months before James was born he's been really good to me. Loyal. Committed. I don't think," She shook her head again, "No, that can't be it. He must've gotten himself into trouble somehow. I just hope he's ok..." The suggestion continued to bother her, "And if he is cheating on me, "I'll kill him, he's put me through enough in these past six or so years to go and cheat on me now."

Arthur glanced over his shoulder at her, "You wouldn't seriously kill him." He tried to sound sure of what he said but there remained at hint of uncertainty.

Celina raised her brows and shrugged, "You don't know that. I might." She wasn't blowing steam. She seriously thought that if Dutch had cheated on her, that may just be the end for him. She would only let his hypocrisy run so far and if it had led him to be unfaithful to her after so many years, she may just get mad enough to pull the trigger. As it was for sure, if he was doing what Sadie had suggested he might be doing, there was no way in heaven or hell that she would forgive him, not that time and not over something like that. He could kiss her goodbye forever after all the other things he had put her through. Still, thinking rationally, she didn't believe in her heart that Dutch would be disloyal to her. He wouldn't, would he?

They rode on some more, sometimes in silence and at times engaged in small conversation. The further they rode and the longer they looked, the more discouraged that Celina began feeling, was he hurt? Was he ok? Oh, if he was with another woman, if he had another woman she would kill him, she would do it. He sure better have a good excuse if something like that had happened, if he wanted to continue living the gift of life that was. Finally, she slowed Bullet to a halt and raised her hands in the air, "Where is that son of a bitch? I swear, this kind of stress that he puts me through. When we find him I'm not sure it I'm going to kiss him or slap him."

"Well," Arthur started, pointing ahead and slightly to the right, "You're going to have to decide fast, because there he is."

Celina looked in the direction that Arthur was pointing to see Dutch riding towards them on The Count and she stared across the distance at the man who she was truly surprised hadn't proposed to her yet, "We'll see what he has to say for himself."

Dutch called out to the three of them upon recognizing them, "What are the three of you doing out here?"

"We could ask the same of you," Arthur called back with his gaze fixed on Dutch as well.

The leader waited to speak until he was close enough to them that he didn't have to yell which only took a minute, "I told you that I was going out, Arthur. I was scouting out a job."

Celina sighed, this happened from time to time, Dutch would get bored with the life they had and feel like they had to do a job or two periodically, "What is it this time, Dutch? We just robbed a house last month and brought in a good amount."

"Exactly," Dutch nodded, "Last month. Winter's coming up here soon so we need to make sure we have enough money to get through it. We aren't going to be selling crops in the winter. You know that. And it's a bank, a small bank in a small town, real clean, real easy."

Celina shook her head, "We don't need money, Dutch. We have plenty and we're not going to have to buy food. We never do. We'll be fine."

"Not in the case there is an emergency and we need it." Dutch rationalized his urge to steal, "What are we going to do if we find ourselves on the road again and not with enough money to make it by? We won't be able to score enough without getting caught to relocate."

Arthur interrupted the two of them, "We go through this every winter, Dutch and every winter we are fine. We've been quiet for over six years. No law's on our tails, no law is actively looking for us. We are ok and it will stay that way as long as we remain quiet. If we try to go in for a heist and it goes wrong, that is all that we need to have the law realize we're alive and well and then just like that they will be on our tail again."

Sadie gestured to Arthur, "Thank you, Arthur."

Celina looked at Arthur as well, "Yes, thank you, very much." Se then looked at Dutch who didn't look happy, "Please, Dutch. Would you just forget about the bank, forget about any further heist, please?" Her voice was almost a whine, "We don't need the money and it's not worth the risk."

He stared at her with an unreadable look, "We always need the money."

He was beginning to make Celina mad, "You are a did, Dutch. A father, we have a wonderful home and our family is safe and thriving. Please now, lets not risk that." She sighed, "I know that you miss the heists that are bigger than the odd house or two, but we cannot do it. We just cannot afford it. I thought that you wanted this life with all of us."

"I do." Dutch clarified, an edge to his tone, "Trust me, I do. I just think that it would be better if we made sure we're financially stable. Without Strauss we haven't had a legal source of steady income for years and, well, it ain't like we can go out and get jobs. It's not like we would do such a thing anyway, being under the law my ass."

She rolled her eyes and spun Bullet around back in the direction they had come from, "I am beginning to regret even being worried about you." She looked over her shoulder at Dutch who even looked less pleased, he hated to essentially be told 'no' especially since he was the leader, "People back home are worrying about you, that includes James."

Dutch took a deep breath and glanced back in the direction that he had just arrived from, back in the direction of the bank and shook his own head. It was if he couldn't help it, he was itching to hit that bank and bad. After over twenty years of living a life that fully supported that kind of behavior, it was a real struggle for him to keep himself away from that lifestyle. Celina helped keep him grounded to what really mattered, the family, their home and their safety. It was just that, the thrill of the heist, he hadn't had it in a while and hadn't had enough of it in even longer. It were almost as if that bank were screaming his name.

...

The following weeks had gone smoothly, nothing too eventful or exciting happening within the gang or even outside of it for what they knew. Dutch had seemed to drop the idea of the bank until he hadn't. When was the point that he had developed the unhidden desire to hit the bank again? Now.

"There's a bank, I scouted it out a couple weeks back and still, the town which is just a little to the west of Blackwater is quiet. Real quiet." Dutch looked at all of them, "I have reason to believe that we can hit that bank without issue and then we'll be set for the winter."

Celina closed her eyes as Dutch spoke not just to her, but Sean, Lenny, Arthur and Javier, "Dutch, we are fine."

"But are we really though?" Sean asked, clearly the bank heist suggestion having caught his intrest, "I mean, can't hurt to have the extra money, could it?"

Celina groaned and tugged on her hair stressfully, "We don't need the money! We need the safety of the government not knowing we're alive, let alone in the area." She shook her head and pointed at Dutch, Sean, Lenny and Javier, "If you four want to risk your safety, our safety for money we don't need, then go ahead and rob that bank." She set her jaw and looked Dutch directly in the eyes, "I am done arguing with you what you take your gang out to do." She raised her hands, "So if you really can't make yourself happy without robbing that damn bank, then do it."

Dutch stared back at her for a quiet moment, "We can really use that money. If something would happen that we would need to run we would need money. We need to be prepared."

One last time, Celina attempted to make her point known, "Dutch, no one is going to find us if we don't draw attention out this way. What's so hard to understand about that? If we do this, what we're going to be doing is attracting attention when we wouldn't have had that attention otherwise!" That was it, she couldn't stand around Dutch and watch him make the wrong decision and shew knew that starting a fight with him in front of the others it would be pointless.

So, she turned around and walked away, grabbing little James as he started to approach them and lifted him into her arms. He let out a little squeak of surprise, "Mom, you yelling at daddy?"

Celina walked back into she and Dutch's home with their son in her arms and sat him on the couch before crouching in front of him, "If something ever happens that our family ends up getting hurt or you are separated from us... if something... if something bad happens, you go into the bedroom and get in daddy's chest, ok?"

It was a talk that she probably should have had with James at some point in the near future although it didn't make her feel much better as it came out of her mouth. She was getting scared, a bank job? Dutch wanted to to a bank job? That thought alone made her worry. She knew how he was once he successfully pulled off a good heist, he wouldn't want to stop. He was too ambitious and addicted to the adrenaline rush it gave him.

She felt rather stupid for letting herself believe that Dutch Van Der Linde would be happy living the rest of his life quietly in retirement. She was scared, so scared that this bank robbery was going to be the beginning of the gang having to be on the run from the law once again. She loved the place they had now, for her, that was freedom. They had their son too of course, why would Dutch want to risk that? Only, Dutch didn't believe he was risking that. She feared with all of her heart that the bank heist would go badly, or something else would go badly. James needed to be prepared the best he could be in the case something would happen that the gang wasn't around to care for him.

James reached out and grabbed her hand gently with his small one, "Mommy, are you ok?"

Celina fought the tears pricking at the back of her eyes and nodded, trying to convince herself, "I'm ok, buddy."

"What's wrong?"

She reached up and cupped the back of his head, thinking just how much she adored the little boy who's paternity may forever be a mystery, "Nothing's wrong, baby. I'm just telling you what to do. If strange men come through here, you get in that chest and don't come out until they're gone. Ok?"

He nodded, wide brown eyes studying her face with an expression of worry. Celina looked over at the door when she heard it creak open to see Dutch walk inside, "It's just going to be Sean, Javier and I hitting that bank tonight. It'll be fine. In and out. There's no need to worry."

Celina hardly acknowledged that he had even walked through the door but instead remained crouched down bedside James, "You're a good son James, the best I could have." She smiled at the little boy and opened her arms to him, "Now come here, give mommy a hug."

James did so eagerly before falling back into the couch. Dutch walked up to them, spurs clinking as he did so, "James, bud. Your mommy and I are going to have a talk. Go to your room for a bit, ok?"

James hopped off the couch and hugged Dutch's leg, making him chuckle, "Ok daddy. But mommy better not be in trouble."

"Oh she's not," Dutch ruffled James' hair and then directed him off in the direction of his bedroom. After he left, Dutch turned his attention back to Celina, "Will you talk to me, please?"

Celina rolled her eyes and stood to her feet, coming up to just a tad above his chin, "What is there to talk about? I'm pretty sure we bith said all there was to say. You want to hit the bank, I don't. You're going to anyway, I'm worried. That's it. Cut and dry so go and rob that bank, as I said. God knows it's who you are. No matter how good life is, that's what you need to be happy. Fine. I get it."

Dutch stood there for a moment, obviously trying to think of what to say. Finally, he put his hands on her shoulders, "I wouldn't be making the decision to do this if I thought it was going to be dangerous for any of us. I'm doing it because I feel like it's the right choice. I've been making decisions for this gang for over twenty years and look how far it's got us."

Celina had to fight to keep from saying what was on her mind. Sure, Dutch had been managing the gang for over twenty years, but he had been doing so without Hosea for only a bit over a year now. Maybe... Maybe was just how Dutch was without Hosea to help make their calls...

...

A/N: There's the next chapter you guys, wanted to cover a little about the essay presentations going on in Aiden' class which did reveal a little more about the future. Any thoughts on any of this?

And also, Dutch is getting antsy to pull a heist... again. Stuff is going to start getting interesting!

Anyway, leave me and thoughts/predictions if you would as they always inspire me to write.

Hope you all enjoyed!

Disclaimer: I do not own Red Dead Redemption 1 or 2 or anything associated with it.


	4. Chapter 4

Dutch, Sean and Javier stood just outside the small town, peering into it from where they were hidden by trees and shrubbery, binoculars in Dutch's hands, "This is all..." he laughed excitedly, "This is all great, good and quiet." The sun was setting and along with it, the activity in the town was dying down. "Ok," he put his binoculars back in his bag, "Boys, let's head in."

That's exactly what the three of them did, Sean and Javier loyally following Dutch as they strolled with feigned innocence into the town. Dutch looked back over his shoulder at the two of them, "Real clean, remember that."

They all walked up to the front of the bank and pulled their bandanas up before walking into the bank slowly, hands ready to draw their weapons. Dutch drew his weapon as soon as he entered the building, "This is a robbery, everyone drop to the ground, now!"

People screamed as the men waved their guns at them, showing that they meant business. Javier walked towards the man who looked like a manager and held his gun against his back, gesturing to the cash box behind the counter, "Open the cash box now and I may not kill you."

The man shook voilently with fear, "Scum like you were supposed to be dealt with years ago." He attempted to insert the code into the metal box with shaking hands.

Javier bounced on his toes, "Common, common, would you hurry up? We ain't got all evening." He watched as the man finally opened the box and began to deposit stacks of cash into the bag that the Mexican held.

Sean peered out the window to the best of his ability from where he stood in the middle of the room, "I don't see any activity, you guys. I think we're good."

"We're not leaving until I say we are," Dutch grabbed the other bank teller and practically threw him towards the safe, "Open it, now, and make it fast."

"Dutch," Javier knocked out the bank teller that he had forced to empty the cash box with the butt of his gun, making several hostages shriek in fear, he growled his words at those people, "Oh, shut up." He then turned his attention back to Dutch, "Dutch, there was a good amount of money in that box. I think we're good. Common man."

Dutch shook his head and ordered the teller to work on getting the safe open quicker, "We will be fine. If we have to fight our way out of here then we will."

Javier looked over at Sean who was threatening to shoot a man and took a deep breath before glancing out the window again, "Dutch. People are going to start realizing that something is off here and once they do, we're out in the open again. We can't afford to be recognized."

"We won't be," Dutch glanced back over his shoulder at him, "The only tricky part about this is going to be potentially cracking these safes without Arthur. I'm afraid Celina has convinced him to never come along for something like this again."

Finally, the bank teller in his frightened state had managed to get the safe open, and Dutch's brows rose with pleasant surprise to see that that was the only safe, stacks of cash sitting on display right before him. Quickly, Dutch shoveled the money into his bag and turned back to Sean and Javier. "Ok," he smiled, "Now, let's get out of here."

The three men quietly filed out of the bank and slipped out of sight undetected by anyone. At least that's what they all thought until a man yelled out, "Hey, that's Dutch Van Der Linde!"

At that, the three outlaws fled to their horses, firing back at their pursuers as they mounted up and took off. A few law men chased after them on horses of their own, firing at them in hopes of finally killing Dutch Van Der Linde once and for all. Of course, as the gang almost always did, they managed to shoot down their pursuers before and bullets penetrated their own flesh.

As they fled the scene, putting more and more distance between themselves and the town, Javier spoke to Dutch, "Man, what was that back there? Getting greedy like that? Almost turned into a bloodbath."

Dutch's response was short and simple, "We needed the money, we got the money. Now we can make it through the winter without issue."

...

Nothing about saying they would get through the winter without issue was correct when it came down to the fact that Celina was right. When it came to matters of Dutch, Celina found that she was oftenly right whether she wanted to be or not. That was supposedly both a blessing and a curse to know.

The bank, as she thought, wasn't enough to fulfill Dutch's need for action. It wasn't enough to get the urge to rob out of his system, not enough of an adrenaline rush to keep him satisfied. So, due to those things, he had turned his attention from the smaller, more frequent robberies and towards the larger heists which he loved so much.

They lived like that for the past four months, hitting larger areas, robbing banks once again which were a good ways away from home, hitting trains a good ways away. Luckily, they managed not to lose anyone in the heists and it remained a true belief that as long as they kept the noise they made far away from home, no one would follow them back home.

It seemed to be working, no law out their way to their knowledge was tracking them down. It seemed safe, but a lot of the gang just still wasn't comfortable with it. They had the life they had fought for. They had achieved the quiet, peaceful life they had all longed for. Now to just turn back to a life of robbing and killing?

Celina had not participated in their larger heists just because the fact remained that if she would have went along for the job, she would be forfeiting her right to speak against it by all rights. That, was not something she wanted to do. As the months went on, more and more gang members seemed to think it was going to be ok, pulling off larger heists further away from camp. The only ones who stayed away from agreeing with that theory other than herself was Arthur and Sadie.

Really, when it came down to it, the three of them were more than mildly concerned over the possibility of things blowing up in their faces sooner than later. The country had to know who it was back in the outlaw business, that it was the Van Der Linde gang coming out of retirement and stirring up chaos. It was only a matter of time before something would likely go wrong. Things could eventually go very, very wrong and it could cost them everything they held dear.

They could be separated from one another and chased away from their beautiful homes which they had built from the ground up themselves. How awful would that be, to lose the things they had vowed to always fight for over the stupid chase of an adrenaline rush? Dutch had always said that it wasn't about the money. Now that they had all the money they needed and more, the fact that Dutch continued to bring it in proved his words true. It wasn't about the money, it may have never been about the money, but it was about seeing how much he could get away with. It was about seeing just how much power he could aquire. He was getting greedy.

Celina sat outside by the campfire that was illuminating the snowy ground, her breath visible due to the cold air. The woman crossed her arms over her chest and leaned her head on Dutch's shoulder affectionately. No matter the fact that she could see him getting greedy with what he could get away with, she loved him. Her love for him was eternal.

He wrapped his arm around her and planted a gentle kiss on her forehead, running his fingers through her hair softly and balanced James on his leg with his free hand. He whispered his heart-felt words into her ear, "I love you."

Celina smiled at that, and felt a shiver at the contact of his warm breath on her ear and neck, "I love you too."

Dutch chuckled and gently moved James from his leg, "You know, miss Knoll, there is something that you and I haven't done in quite a while..."

Celina looked up at him, ignoring the questioning looks of their friends, "You wanna go on a ride?"

"Indeed I do," Dutch stood to his feet and reached his hand out to her, helping her to her own feet, "We haven't been on a ride just the two of us in quite a while so why don't we make the most of this fine evening and do just that?"

Celina let go of his hand and nodded looking back at James before looking to Sadie, "Sadie, would you mind watching him while we're out? I wouldn't imagine that we would take too long."

Sadie readily agreed and Dutch guided Celina away from the gang with his hand on her lower back, "I actually ensured that Sadie would be able to watch him earlier today. You can think Mrs. Adler-Morgan for the gift of this evening."

Celina couldn't wipe the smile off her face, it had been a while- months since she and Dutch had gotten out just the two of them and she had been itching to do so. Home with Dutch was nice of course, like a dream come true, even if she thought his recent behavior and urge to rob was rediculous, "Thank you Sadie."

The former widow waved her off with a smile and wink, "Go and have fun with your man. We'll be here when you get back."

So, Celina and Dutch did just that, Dutch of course mounting The Count and Celina climbing onto Bullet before the two of them spurred their horses forwards and took off. Celina couldn't help but express the joy she felt as she rode alongside her outlaw, "I'm glad that we finally got to get out together. I know you've been busy lately."

"I have got to agree," Dutch looked over at her with that enchanting twinkle in his eyes that he got whenever he was feeling like himself, "I know that you don't like that we've been robbing more here recently, but it's working. Before long we'll be sitting on mounds of money and won't ever have to worry about the money situation again. We just have to build up as much as we can now. The law is only getting stronger and stronger, in five years from now if we would wander into the heart of civilization I highly doubt we'd be able to make it out with our lives- any of us, if we were recognized."

Celina nodded but didn't look over at him. Instead, she kept her gaze fixed straight ahead, fingers fidgeting in the slightest with her reigns, "I know that's how you and so many of the others feel, Dutch." She chewed on her bottom lip for a second, "Can we talk about something else please?"

Dutch immediately shut up and nodded, casting her a rather empathetic look, "I'm sorry, this night is about us and our relationship..." he licked his lips and thought on what to say for a moment, "You know, I know you said you want to talk abbot something else, and that's fine, but there is something I want to say first."

Celina took a deep breath, ready to be on the offensive at any second if need be, "What is it?"

He smiled at her as if there was something good he had to say on the subject, "One more heist, just one more and we're done. We'll be out of this business forever and free to go on with our lives."

Celina knew better than to get excited about that, "Ok. But please, let's talk about something else. There's... There's sometging that I actually need to tell you."

He looked over at her in question, feeling a bit of fear as to what it was he expected her to say. She wasn't going to say the words that he feared would come, was she? He felt as if he were almost physically bracing himself for the impact of her words, only what she said was entirely unexpected, "I'm pregnant."

Dutch's mouth gaped open in shock, "Wh-What? You're pregnant again?"

Celina nodded with a small, uncertain smile on her face, "Yea, I'm... I'm certain I'm pregnant. You're going to be a dad to another wonderful little child." She stared at his face for a moment to the best of her ability due to the darkening sky, watching for any expression on his face to give away how he felt. When he didn't react, she felt her heart begin to sink. Was he mad? How did he feel about having another kid? That was something that they had never discussed.

Finally, Dutch succeeded in speaking, slowing The Count to a stop, "You're pregnant. You're..." he shook his head and looked up to the sky, "You're... it's... the kid's mine?"

Celina couldn't help but laugh at his words, the way they left his mouth was too cute, too innocent. Dutch Van Der Linde, innocent. Who would have ever thought the two would go hand-in-hand? She circled Bullet back and stopped beside Dutch and The Count, "Of course it's yours, Dutch." She smiled and reached out to him, resting her left hand on his arm, "Who else's would it be?"

Dutch still looked like he was having a hard time processing what he was being told and frankly, Celina delighted in the moment. Dutch licked his lips, "I'm going to be a father for sure, no questions asked."

She found herself laughing at the man beside her yet again, "No questions asked. This baby growing inside of me now, it's yours, absolutely one-hundred percent yours. You're a dad, Dutch, for sure this time."

Dutch looked over at her with a stunned expression playing out across his face and leaned over to crash his lips passionately onto hers. Celina leaned into him as well and kissed him back with just as much passion. He smiled as he pulled away from her, "My kid. I can't believe I'm going to officially be a dad."

Celina shook her head with a small smile on her face still, "You know, there is a little boy named James who is also your kid." She spurred Bullet forward at a walk.

Dutch followed on The Count, "Of course I haven't forgotten about James. I love that little boy. It's just, this is different, knowing that I'm definately the kids biological father."

Celina nodded, "So, please, Dutch. Just think. We have our freedom, we have it right now, where we live, right now. Do you really want to risk losing it by trying to make more scores? Do you really want us to have to be on the run again just to keep our freedom that we would have lost due to greed?" She tugged on her hair, "I know I said I didn't want to talk about this, but... every time you say 'one more score' there's another to follow. I'm afraid that we can't be chasing scores anymore, Dutch. We have too much to lose. And with this new baby on the way? I may not be able to run when the time comes."

Dutch continued to ride The Count at a trot, Celina matching his pace, "One more score and that will be it. They won't find us, I promise. It'll all be ok. After this train which is carrying tons of more payload than you can imagine, we'll all officially retire for good. No more illegal activity at all. We'll disappear from the eyes of society entirely." He tried to sound sure of the words that he spoke. He tried to convince her that he meant what he said. Really though, after knowing him for nearly seven years, Dutch Van Der Linde was not fooling her, not in the slightest. It was all too obvious that he was trying to convince himself just as much as he was trying to convince her.

Celina let it slide and tried to seem like she believed him as much as he tried to seem like she should, "Ok, fine, Dutch. One more score and we're in retirement, permanately. After this, our income will be strictly legal."

The two of them rode onwards as the sky continued to grow darker, making conversation as they rode and laughing at things that were appropriate to do so at. Finally, Dutch brought up the topic of the baby once again, "Do you think it's a boy or a girl, the baby?"

Celina shrugged with a small smile, "I don't know, part of me is hoping for a girl since we already have a boy, you know?"

Dutch was quiet for a moment before nodding slowly, "I would like to have a boy, I think though. A son who's undeniably my own. I think..." He hesitated another moment as he tried to think of how to say what he wanted to, "I really think that James just might be Bill's son."

Celina's brows furrowed in thought as she pictured her oldest child in her mind, "What makes you think that?"

Dutch let out a slow breath, "I think he looks like him a little bit."

"How?"

"Well..." Dutch tried to think of a way to describe it but he found himself at loss, "I don't know. I just think he looks like he probably is his son. Maybe it's just my mind playing tricks on me because I want him to be mine. I don't..." Dutch took a deep breath, "I don't want to think that you have a kid by someone other than me... expecially not Bill."

Celina shrugged, a bit careless to that statement, she still blamed him for what had happened between her and Bill. Not that she regretted what had happened between the two of them.. she surprisingly didn't, "Well, what's done is done I suppose. We'll just have to let time tell who's son he is."

Dutch nodded, "Indeed we will." He looked up to the sky which had gotten dark, "We probably shouldn't have stayed out so long."

Celina agreed, "I know we shouldn't have but it's a nice night and it's not like we do this a lot. I'm glad that we got to do this together." She yawned.

Dutch laughed, "Agreed, but don't go getting too tired on me now, we've still got to make the ride back."

She yawned again, causing Dutch to shake his head with an amused smile, "I know, let's go."

Dutch smirked at her, "I know a way for you to wake up on the ride back."

She pursed her lips, immediately thinking his suggestion to be something dirty although she couldn't figure out what, "What's that?"

"We could... race."

Celina laughed and rolled her eyes at her man, "That's stupid, why would we race back when it's as dark as it is? I'd be likely to ride right into a tree... or have Bullet trip over a boulder or something."

Dutch closed his eyes tightly and laughed, "Ok, I suppose that wasn't my most thought through suggestion," he continued to laugh good-naturedly, "Ride alongside me, little lady. I'll see that you get home alright."

Celina laughed back at him, "You're stupid."

He smiled over at her, "That would be you, for putting up with me all these years."

Celina rolled her eyes dramatically, "Well, yea. I guess you're right. I suppose when we get back I'll pack my bags and be on my way."

At the sound of a wolf howl, Dutch jumped in his saddle a bit, much to Celina's amusement, "Yeah, let's... let's get out of here and back home. There's too much going bump in the night tonight."

Celina bit on her bottom lip lightly with a teasing smile as she rode alongside him, "I don't think I've ever seen you squirm like this before, Dutch. Are you getting easier to get to in your old age?"

Dutch sent her a look of fake annoyance, "Forty-eight, I'm forty-eight. Who are you calling old?"

Celina shrugged innocently, "I don't know... I mean, you're like, nineteen... years older than me? I don't..." she shrugged innocently again, "I have no idea who I would be calling old.. certainly not the one who's getting the grey hair."

"Oh you're going to get it when we get home."

Celina's brows rose along with her voice, "I'm going to get it? Sounds great."

Dutch snorted with laughter, "How you make my life so much more complete."

The two of them rode on for only about another minute or so before they heard the words that they hadn't heard in so long and were hoping to never hear again as light fell upon them, "You two put your hands up, you're surrounded."

Celina closed her eyes and raised her hands slowly, showing that they were weapon free, "Please, I don't know what's going on, but my husband, Willis and I are just trying to enjoy a nice ride. If you would be so kind sir, to let us on our way?"

She knew what they were dealing with for sure, bounty hunters. Still, she figured, maybe, just maybe it was getting dark enough that she could convince them that they had the wrong couple. Maybe? Possibly? The bounty hunter who had told them to put their hands up did not seem to believe a word out of her mouth, "I have no idea who you are, ma'am, but I happen to know Dutch Van Der Linde when I see him. We're going to bring both of you into the law tomorrow morning, alive if you'll let us."

Dutch spoke up, trying not to sound too much like himself, "Now fellas, you've got to hear me out, I've unfortunately got an unfortunate face. My name is Willis Turner, I don't know that Van Der Linde guy you're speaking of but I sure do hope you catch him."

The bounty hunter chuckled in a way that left no no question as to what he believed, he knew that he was looking at the one and only Dutch Van Der Linde. He whistled lowly, "Why don't you do me a favor and climb off your horses? We really want to bring you in alive, Mr. Van Der Linde, and miss, guilty by association. There is a very, very pretty price on your still breathing head, Dutch. Try to fight your way out of this, and we'll shoot your woman."

Dutch looked over at Celina with a look of worry she had only seen on his face in the most dire of situations. He nodded, his eyes telling her that he loved her as he dismounted the count. Celina followed his lead and placed both feet on the ground before dropping to her knees beside the man whom she never in her life thought she'd see kneel before someone other than in the bedroom of course.

The man who seemed to be the leader of the bounty hunters hopped off his own horse as did another man and they made their way over to Celina and Dutch, quickly patting them down and removing any weapons from them. Once satisfied, the bounty hunter smiled down at them mockingly, the moonlight glinting off his teeth, "Are the two of you going to come with us willingly? Or are we going to have to hogtie you and throw you over the backs of our horses?" He turned Dutch's revolver over in his hands, "Because you know, if you do decide to make this difficult, Mr. Van Der Linde..." he pointed the gun at Celina's head threateningly, "It's going to cost you."

Dutch set his jaw, his blood pressure rising even more than it already had and making his face blood red as a result. He stared at the man before him with the hatred of a thousand men, if looks could kill, all seven or eight men surrounding them would have dropped dead. Finally, Dutch growled out his answer, "We will come willingly."

...

A/N: Well, there's the next chapter, sorry it took so long you guys but thank you for patiently waiting for it. It was just so hard for me to write when sick, hardly had the energy or motivation to do so but I did write a bit at a time and am starting to feel a little better *knock on wood*.

Anyway, Celina is pregnant again, this time by Dutch for sure and Dutch is convinced that James is Bill's. Thoughts on this?

Also, Celina and Dutch are now captured due to the gang having made too much noise and got the law/bounty hunters back on their trail once again. What do you guys think will happen here?

Looking forward to reading any thoughts/predictions as always.

Hope you enjoyed!

Disclaimer: I do not own Red Dead Redemption 1 or 2 or anything associated with it.


	5. Chapter 5

"Celina and Dutch should have been back by now, shouldn't they?" Javier was the one to ask this before the gang began to go back into their homes for the night.

Arthur nodded, standing to his feet glancing over in the direction of he and Sadie's home to see her sitting on their porch swing, waiting for him, "I thought they would have been back by now. Maybe... maybe they decided to take advantage of being out alone together?"

Bill was paying attention to the conversation from where he stood leaning against a barrel with a beer bottle in his hand, "Celina wouldn't be out this late, with Dutch or otherwise."

Arthur eyed Bill with intrest rather than annoyance although he would be lying if he said he wasn't wanting to comment on the fact that the man once again had a bottle in his hand, "How would you know that?"

"Cause I know Celina. She gets real uncomfortable... when she can't see her surrounding well." Bill took another swig of his beer, "I'm gonna go and look for the two of them. Any of you feel free to join."

Arthur took a deep breath, "I don't know, Bill... maybe they're on their way back. I'd say let's give them a little while longer."

"Well I'm going." Bill slammed down the empty bottle and pushed himself away from the barrel, "If something is going on out there with them..." he didn't bother to finish his sentence before heading in the direction of the horses, not having had quite enough beer to make him drunk.

Javier hesitated for a moment, "I think I'm going to go with him, Arthur... just in case something has happened, Bill may need backup."

Arthur dipped his head in defeat and looked back over to Sadie who was making her way back up to them, "Do you want to ride with us? We're going to go out looking for Celina and Dutch, they've been gone for a while."

Sadie nodded without hesitation, "Of course I'll go. They'd do the same for us. Heck, I owe it to Dutch for saving my life all those years ago."

Charles let out a groan but stood up as well, despite himself, "Worse case scenario, you may need someone to help track them down. I'll come along as well."

...

Celina stared across the small room they were holed up in at Dutch who like herself, was tied down to a chair. Present time they were the only ones in the room, the bounty hunter who had been in there a minute ago having stepped outside. To say the least, she was a bit torn over how she felt about Dutch for the time being. Should she be livid with him for not listening to her and getting them in a situation such as the one they were currently in? Or should she be feeling love and fear for him since it seemed that come tomorrow morning, she may never see him again?

Celina tipped her head back and closed her eyes, trying to think. There had to be a way out of there. There had to be. This couldn't be the end. It couldn't. She opened her eyes slowly and made eye contact with Dutch again, "Dutch?"

The look on the leaders face was one of a desperate, broken man. If she was closer to him, she may have been able to see the tears forming in his eyes. Then again, not a whole lot was visable as they were only going by the light of the lantern sitting at the edge of the door, "I am so sorry."

Celina couldn't bring herself to choose hatred or love at that point, so, what she said was a combination of both, tears pricking at her own eyes, "I can't say it's ok, Dutch, how could I? We're... I love you. I love you so much.." she sniffled, "I was having one of the best nights in a little while with you and now we're here. We're here and we're probably both going to die all because you couldn't find it within yourself to listen to me." A tear slid down her cheek, "How could you, Dutch? We had all we ever dreamed of, freedom- true freedom and you went and threw it away all because you wanted another unneccessary score."

"I didn't," Dutch started, "I didn't think that we would get caught. I'm sorry. I never," Dutch glanced at the door which the bounty hunter was sure to be returning through at any moment, "I never meant to risk the life we had back home. Never. If i would have known that something like this was going to happen-"

Celina cut him off, "I warned you that I had a bad feeling that we were going to end up getting caught. You didn't seem to care one bit. You've gotten greedy, Dutch."

"I'm not greedy."

"Yes," she spat at him, "Yes you are. Now I just might have to pay for your greed with my life. I can't believe I was stupid enough to believe you would ever be ok with living a quiet life." She managed to bite her tongue to keep the next thought she had from flying out of her mouth. That thought? Well, it was that she could hardly believe she was stupid enough to let herself fall in love with him. Clearly she was stupid enough to fall in love with him though, and she was paying for it now.

Dutch tried to pull his hands away from the rope restraining them, "We're going to get out of here. I promise you. We will, we'll make it back to everyone and lay low for the rest of our lives. We will not, ever, draw attention to ourselves again." He looked her right in the eyes, "I am going to be a father to that baby you're carrying and I am going to be the man you deserve. You'll see. If we just, if we just get out of here, we will be fine."

Celina hardly found it within herself to even have a reaction to the words that left his mouth, they were all so familiar. Promises he had more or less made before, and then only kept them for an indefinite period of time. She was so tired of the promises be so oftenly broke. That promise about being the man she deserved? He had made that promise too many times when in reality, if he meant it- if it truly meant it, he should have only had to make that promise once. He should have kept his promise about becoming the man she deserved years ago after she had returned to him following her brief separation from him after the night of the Mayor's party. She stared blankly at him, "Why don't we just work on getting out of here and work out everything else later?"

At that, the door opened and two bounty hunters came into the room, the usual guy with a bald head and thick, grey beard along with a younger guy with wild blonde hair. The blonde walked up with a confident smirk on his face, "I think we're the first ones to have successfully captured you, Van Der Linde." He threw something small at Dutch, probably a pebble and laughed, "So, tomorrow morning we will be handing the two of you over to the law."

Dutch chuckled, immediately putting forth his untouchable act, "We will see about that, son, we will most certainly see about that."

"We may be willing to make a deal for you miss...?" The older man in the room addressed Celina.

Celina raised a brow at him, "Knoll. Celina Knoll and by God are you going to remember my name."

The man laughed half heartedly, "Celina Knoll... Well I'll be, I think I have heard of you vaguely. We will turn you in with Dutch here, I'm sure the law will deem you guilty by association with him and I'm sure you'll be hung alongside him... unless..."

Celina glared daggers of hate into the man who's name she didn't care to know, "Unless what?" Discreetly, Celina twisted her hands at different angles, doing the best she could to loosen the rope around her wrists.

"Unlesssss," The bald man dragged on, "You would be so kind to reveal to us the location of the rest of the oh so feared Van Der Linde gang."

Celina laughed at that, truly laughed, "Do you really think I'm going to value my own freedom over the lives of my family? Sir, I've got to say you're even crazier than I thought you were if you think I'm going to rat them out."

"Oh I see," the man nodded in a manner of feigned acceptance, "So the threat on your life may not be enough to get you to talk..." he moved over to Dutch and pointed his gun at him, "But if I threatened his life..."

Celina scoffed and continued in trying to free her hands secretly, "You won't kill him, not with how much more valuable he is alive to you than dead." She licked her lips, "Even if you did kill him here and now, it wouldn't really matter, he would be hung by the law within the matter of a week anyway if you handed him over alive. I don't understand how you think you have anything to make a deal with." She felt the rope go slack around her wrists and kept it from falling to the floor by holding it up just with her fingertips, "Unless..."

The bounty hunter looked at her with curiosity, "Unless what?"

Celina licked her lips, eyeing Dutch who had no idea what it was that she was doing. He looked like he trusted her though, then again, it wasn't like he had much of a choice. He didn't seem to be formulating a plan, it was her, it was all her, "Well, come here."

The bounty hunter hesitated, "You can tell me what your proposition is from the distance we're at."

Celina sighed as if she were truly inconvenienced, "I suppose I could, but I won't... I don't-" she nodded to Dutch, "I don't want Dutch to hear what I have to say." She looked sad, "Please sir, just come over here so we can work on a deal. I promise to uphold my half of it... but please don't make me say it across the room. My hands are tied... literally, and with both of you armed.." She scoffed, "You could kill me or Dutch sooner than we could even come close to a weapon."

The man took a deep breath and looked from Celina, to Dutch, to the younger bounty hunter as if assessing the situation and made his way across the room, "Fine, but there's no guarantees that I'm going to take whatever deal you've thought up."

"I know, I know." Celina nodded and glanced over at the other bounty hunter who stood off to the side of the room, arms crossed over his chest as he watched the interactions of the other three. He had his guard down, that much was obvious. In fact, neither one of them exactly had their guards up, they didn't expect that Celina would have been able to work her restraints loose and free her hands.

When he stopped in front of her, Celina nodded him closer and he rolled his eyes. Celina let out a small huff of her own, "I want to make sure you hear me, and I'm not particularly fond of having to repeat myself. So please, letting me whisper in your ear is the least you can do..."

The man rather reluctantly complied by leaning down so that Celina's lips could meet his ear. Celina, getting what she wanted, began to speak to him, "I didn't want Dutch to hear because I didn't want him to die with a potentially broken heart... if he loves me, anyway. There is someone, back where we're staying that I need to go free... actually, a few people if you could spare them... they're-"

Feeling that Celina had him drawn into the conversation, that's when she made her move. At once, she sunk her teeth into the man's neck, severing his jugular artery and ripping his one side arm from his hand and the other from his holster, efficiently shooting the younger bounty hunter in the chest as she threw one of the two guns to Dutch and watched as the man whom had his jugular bit out by her fell to the ground, helplessly spasming.

She ejected her mouthfull of the bald man's blood onto the floor and took cover by the door just as Dutch did at the door on the the other side of the room, having managed to free himself from his restraints as well. She had caught the way Dutch had looked at her when she ripped that man's throat open with her teeth, it was a look that recognized savagery when it was seem. Celina was sure that what Dutch had seen her do would not go unspoken of.

She kicked the door open to reveal several bounty hunters turning their attention to the cabin. With a sarcastic smile, she shot the first three in either the chest or stomach, the best place she figured to shoot when her aim wasn't the best.

As she watched several others continue to come towards the small shack, she felt her heart sink, "Dutch.. these are six-guns... we're not going to be able to get to the ammo before they get to us." She yelled across the room to him as she fired off her last two shots and braced herself for death which was almost certain to come, barely hearing Dutch's reluctant acknowledgement.

It was precisely then that familiar gunfire sounded from close by and Celina dared to quickly poke her head out the door to see bounty hunters being mowed down by bullets. She laughed in both relief and victory as she took cover again with her back to the wall before meeting Dutch in the center of the room and reloading their weapons.

Dutch made eye contact with her but she couldn't exactly read the expression in his dark eyes. She knew that she had to look a mess, she could feel the pretty much dried blood of the man she had bitten into on her face. Fact of the matter was that she couldn't worry about cleaning herself up, not now. They had to get out of there and what she had done was the only thing she could think of at the time to do. If Dutch wanted to look at her like she was something else because of that, that was fine by her. As of the then and now, Dutch wasn't at the top of her list of favorite people anyway.

There were only a couple more hunters that Celina and Dutch had to pick off before they could leave the shack due to the help of whoever had come to their rescue. When they did finally step out of the dreadful musky building- if one would even call it that, Celina wiped at her face with her sleeves in a desperate attempt to remove the blood from her face. She at least wanted to get it away from the corners of her mouth.

Recognizing their rescuers as Bill, Sadie, Arthur, Javier and Charles, she beamed at the five of them, "I don't think I've ever been happier to see you guys in my whole life."

Dutch chucked as he made his way over to one of the chests the bounty hunters had sitting out in their camp, "I think I'm going to have to second that." He shot the chest open and began rummaging around for anything to steal, pocketing a few items and some money.

Arthur spoke up as Dutch continued to rummage through the camp, along with Celina who joined him in looking for their weapons, "There were quite a few folk here, trying to keep the two of you from escaping. Figured we'd have to free you from the shack ourselves, what happened back there?"

Dutch straightened up and holstered his two revolvers upon locating them, handing Celina her own, "Miss Knoll took care of us breaking free from the cabin to say the least. Of course we never would have made it far if it hadn't been for the five of you showing up."

Celina smiled and holstered her gun, "Yes, thank you guys, very much."

Arthur took a deep breath, and looked back over to the others who had come with him, resting his gaze on Bill before turning his attention back to Celina and Dutch, "Actually, to be fair, it was Bill who decided to go out looking for the two of you first."

Celina's eyes widened in surprise as she looked over in Bill's direction, only really being able to make out his outline in the dark, "You did?"

"Well, I... I did," he nodded and hesitated awkwardly, "I did because I knew it weren't like you to stay out so late. Figured maybe something had happened."

Celina couldn't help but to feel her heart swell a little at the thought that after almost 5 years of their relationship having ended he had still remembered that fact about her. He had took that fact to heart and it had ended up saving her life. He had saved her life not once, but twice. She cleared her throat, "Thank you Bill... thank you." She addressed the rest of them, "Thank you, all of you. If you hadn't shown up, we would likely both be dead for sure."

...

It was the next morning before everyone was rested and clear-minded enough to think about the events of the previous night. Actually, because of what had happened, Celina had slept in the spare bedroom apart from Dutch and had admittedly spent a good while crying before she had went to sleep. If she was putting on a front she would be saying that last night was a close call hopefully to never happen again.

If she was being honest, she would say that last night was a close call, one that she feared would happen again. If it had happened once, if bounty hunters had found them once, they could find them again. If she was being honest, she feared that unless they moved out of the country, they would never be truly free of the law. Not now after they had made themselves known pretty much all over the country... maybe not ever. They needed to leave again, leave the beautiful home they had built for themselves and lost due to their- or Dutch's urge to make yet another score.

Hosea would be so disappointed, all he wanted was for his family to be safe and happy. Now look at them, possibly having to pick up and start running from the law yet again. The thought made Celina sick. Maybe though, just maybe they could stay where they were and not uproot their lives again... maybe, if they were quiet. Well and truly quiet, quiet enough that the law thought they were dead.

Celina stared at the ceiling as she listened to Dutch and James' voices. They were up apparently and going about the new day. Celina? Well, she hardly felt like she had the energy to get out of bed, let alone talk to anyone about anything. She felt so stupid, thinking that Dutch of all people would make a good husband... of course they weren't married... not really. But their living arrangements could have considered them married by common-law. What was she thinking, thinking that Dutch Van Der Linde could live a quiet ranch life? He had for a while, while Hosea was around... but after Hosea died...

Celina closed her eyes again. She wanted to go back to sleep, she really wanted to go back to sleep and just forget about all of her problems for a few more hours. Really, she wanted to get drunk, really drunk. Celina wanted to get so very drunk. She couldn't though. She sighed at that fact and moved her hands down to rest on her belly, she didn't have a noticeable bump yet but she knew it would be coming. She couldn't drink while pregnant, she couldn't and wouldn't do such a thing... even if it meant that she had to deal with being a completely depressed mess because Dutch once again thought that he knew everything there was to know in the world.

"Daddy, where's mommy?" James' small voice reached Celina's ears and she felt bad that she was in a way keeping herself isolated from her boy but she couldn't bring herself to face him yet, let alone Dutch.

"She's still sleeping buddy." That was Dutch's voice as he spoke to their son. Good Lord did she love that man, she literally loved Dutch so much that it hurt sometimes. Would her love for him be enough to last? Would it be enough to get them through? Could her love for him be enough to get her to stick by his side if he became the Dutch she knew from RDR1? That thought scared her, that Dutch was a monster and... and if her Dutch still went crazy like that, even with her there trying to keep that from happening?

Celina closed her eyes and pulled her blankets up to her chest and rolling over so that her back was to the door. If Dutch walked in she wanted him to think that she was asleep. She didn't want to talk to him, not right then. Celina licked her lips, she so desperately wanted to believe that Dutch could stop executing heists and be the man that he promised her that he would be.

After last night though? It was a little more clear to her than ever before that that may just never be a reality. Now, she wasn't saying that Dutch was lying to her, not in the slightest. He probably meant what he said when he promised to her several times that he was going to become the man she deserved. She was sure he probably meant it, at the time, anyway. The problem was that it didn't seem like he knew how to be that man... or maybe he was simply incapable of being that man.

Her mind flashed back to the moment when she had bitten that bounty hunters jugular out of his neck the previous night. That was... that had possibly been the most brutal, savage thing she had ever done in her life. If it were in an action movie, she was sure it would have been awesome and her absolute favorite stunt. The fact that it had happened though, not in a movie, but in real life and she had been the one to do it?... She had a hard time coming to terms with that. It was unsettling to say the least and she was sure that it was unsettling for Dutch to see too. If she was telling the truth, that was a very small other reason she wasn't quite ready to talk with him, what was she supposed to say? Was she supposed to just act like everything was fine?

Celina did her best to get back to sleep but couldn't will herself to go to sleep. She simply was no longer tired but wide awake. The light was streaming in through the window, announcing that it was clearly a new day and there was no way with that knowledge she was going to be able to fall back asleep.

Instead, her mind continued to wander to the moment she and Dutch had been told by Arthur that it was Bill who decided to come and look for them first. She knew that Dutch had been jealous at first at the thought that it was Bill who had made the call. It was obvious that Dutch was jealous even if for a split second. Well, she supposed that it was obvious to her at least since she had gotten as close as she was to Dutch and could typically read him quite well.

Dutch was pretty consistent in getting jealous of Bill from time to time and it was almost funny in a way because if it weren't for her, Celina was sure that Dutch never would have been jealous of Bill Williamson. Why would he be? Truly, it wouldn't make any sense for him to be if it weren't for her. A man like Dutch jealous of a man like Bill? Nah, not at all... but throw a woman into the mix...

Almost involuntarily, she thought back to the first time she had had sex with Bill Williamson and what had followed...

...

Bill pulled out of her after a solid forty minutes and laid down next to her on the bed heavily. It was true, they had started off in the front room of the house but ended up making their way through the house and into the spare bedroom by the time they had finished.

Celina looked over at him in awe, taking in the sweat that coated his manly, hairy chest and she shakily propped herself up on her right arm and reached over with her left hand, running her fingers through his chest hair affectionately, "That was, that was amazing." She panted the words out, out of breath and covered in a mixture of their sweat as well.

Bill smiled over at her, and raised his hand as he spoke like he did oftenly did, "Yeah... Well... I was holding that back a long time for you."

Celina tried to roll over to straddle him but found it that her body was still too weak and tingly from their... activities to listen to her. She laughed instead, "I can tell, I can definately tell. It was... it was great. This was exactly what I needed tonight."

Bill chuckled, "I ain't... I, I ain't going no where so you'll know where to find me."

Celina couldn't wipe the smile off her face, what they had done... it was good. It had truly been great and was exactly what she needed to get her mind off Dutch even just for the time being. Although, she had a feeling that this would keep her mind off him for a little while longer than just the time being, "I know that you mean you will be around here... but I really don't think I'm going to be able to leave this bed for a bit... my legs don't want to listen to me." She laughed and tried to lift her legs as high as she could, only to be able to raise them a couple inches, "See?"

Bill laughed hard at that, "That'll give them a reason not to make fun of me."

Celina nodded with her brows raised in agreement, "Most certainly." Her fingers felt for the warm spot on her neck where he had left at least one hicky. It would be hard to hide what had happened, that was for sure.

...

Celina finally managed to snap out of her thoughts about that night which had begun her romantic relationship with Bill. Dutch sure had a reason to be jealous of Bill at the time... and if he knew how great they had been... He would still have pretty solid ground to be jealous of him to that very day.

Celina darted her tongue over her dry lips and climbed out of bed. She needed to get up and do something before she decided to stay in bed way too long. Making the bed, she stared at it for a moment too long as she thought back to that night again with another sigh. She was going to leave the room and have cereal for breakfast and get to work... She had to put all non-work thoughts behind her, for now at least.

...

A/N: Two updates in one day! Lol, count this as tomorrow's chapter, I was going to save it and actually post it tomorrow but I was too excited to get it posted. A lot of that comes from the fact that I'm hoping I can get quite a lot of feedback on this chapter, I would love it if that was the case of course lol. It gives me something to read and puts a smile on my face expecially when I wake up with a lot of it to read.

Anyway, rather long chapter, got quite a bit of writing done today as it turns out. A day which I get a lot of writing done is typically always a good day, at least in my opinion :)

So... what did you guys think about this chapter? Some action, some personal reflection, some irritation with but love for Dutch... and some kinda sorta fluff... kinda sorta sexy time with Bill...

That brings me to the question, those of you who like the Bill moments, are you still liking them? And also, Bill or no Bill, are you guys enjoying the flashbacks I'm doing here and there? I like to write them, I really think it gives the story more depth but of course as always, I'm interested in what you all think as well. Sometimes I honestly add them just to make the chapters longer because I don't want to stop writing and/or want to give you guys more to read.

Really hope everyone's 2019 is going well so far and hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Don't have a regular update schedule but will always try to provide new content when I can!

Disclaimer: I do not own Red Dead Redemption 1 or 2 or anything associated with it.


	6. Chapter 6

"Dutch, if you don't quit and let that boy win for once," Celina watched as Dutch and James roughhoused with the pillows in the front room, Dutch hardly letting James get a hit in on him, "You're supposed to let him win, that's how you build their confidence."

Dutch laughed at that claim and shook his head stubbornly, "If he wants to build confidence about something, then he needs to be good at it." He whacked the boy with the pillow he held again and knocked him on his butt.

James sat there stunned for a brief moment, staring up at Dutch with wide eyes, "Daddy, stop."

Dutch stated down at the small boy with a twinkle in his eyes, the twinkle that Celina loved to see so much. It reminded her of the Dutch she had met the very first day she had joined the gang, nearly seven years ago. Celina shook her head at the thought, time sure did go fast.

James looked over at her after Dutch hit him again although lighter this time, "Mommy, make daddy stop."

Celina laughed at the boy and his father, "I can't make your daddy do anything he doesn't want to. Trust me, I've spent a long time trying to get him to listen to me." That was true of course, everyone who knew Celina and Dutch knew that it was true. She rolled her eyes at Dutch when he fixed her with a pointed look, he knew the hidden meaning behind her words. He knew that she was referring to the situation they had been in the previous night with the bounty hunters. If he had listened to her about scores and the bank that what had happened to them last night probably never would have happened and the law would continue under the false belief that they were dead by the hands of someone or another. She raised her brows at him, confirming that he was right in thinking that she was talking about what she was, "Well, it's true, it's about time you start listening to me, don't you think?"

Dutch looked a little uncomfortable, he had that look on his face which he would get when he felt like she was getting close to going off on him. The fact they had only spend six months broken up in the last six or so years did not by any means mean that she did not regularly lay into him over his ridiculous and to Celina, unacceptable behavior. She did, oh, she gave Dutch Van Der Linde a piece of her mind quite often and he was a fool those times when he refused to listen. That was something that she let him know regularly too. Dutch ran his right hand over his dark hair which remained long only now with the random silver streak here and there, bringing out his greying temples, "Do we really have to do this right here, right now?"

James looked up at Dutch, a grin on his face that held more mischief than either of his parents could handle, "Daddy, listen to Mommy."

Celina fought to bite back a laugh at the demand from their son and failed, "See? Even James agrees they you need to listen to me. You may be the leader, Dutch, but I am the boss."

Dutch gave her a tight smile, mischief shining in his dark eyes, "Is that so?"

Celina nodded, crossing her arms and sizing him up, "Oh yeah, that's so." She stepped forwards and into his personal space before grabbing the pillow out of his hands and whacking him over the head with it. She laughed when he stood there, staring down at her as he tried to dictate how much trouble he was in exactly. He was a smart man, Dutch. Dutch could see that behind her playful façade in front of their son that her blow on him with the pillow wasn't as playful as she made it out to be, she was actually wanting to hit him with something a little harder. She raised a brow at him challengingly, "What do you say you and I either go back to the bedroom or send James outside so we can have a little talk about what happened last night?"

Celina laughed mischeviously as she stared over at the veteran who sat on her couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table drinking one of the several beer of the day. Bill eyed her suspiciously, "What're you laughing at?"

Celina shrugged, feigning innocence as she held the bedroom pillow tightly against her chest, "Oh nothing... just, thinking."

"Yeah?" Bill studied her for a moment, having paused in taking a drink, "You sure don't look like it's nothing..."

"Well..." she laughed mischeviously again, "It's kinda nothing, kinda something."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He took another drink, "If it's something, tell me what it is."

Celina rolled her eyes at him, she was going to go for it. She had to go for it, it was going to be now or never. At that, she walked over to him slowly, doing her best not to break out in laughter at what she was about to do, "Put your beer down."

"What?" His face screwed up in confusion as he looked up at her, "Why?"

Celina huffed, "Just do it, please."

He stared at her for another minute as he tried to think of what she could possibly be up to. The look in her eyes though, he knew that look, that was a look that not even he would forget. She was up to something. Still, he didn't set his beer down, why would he do that and subject himself to whatever nonsense she had in mind. It was precisely then that the woman shrugged before whacking in the side of the head with the pillow she held, nearly making him drop his beer. He hit the pillow back towards her, surprise and confusion unhidden on his face, "What the hell was that for?"

"It's a pillow fight, doof. What, you're telling me that things like that don't exist in the current year?" Her voice was playful, taunting as she stared at him, gripping the pillow so hard to keep him from totally taking it that her knuckles were turning white.

"I ain't never heard of a pillow fight." Bill stared at her as he assessed the situation. She could practically see the wheels in his head turning and his lip twitched upwards with a hint of a smile. This time it was Celina who was caught off guard when he sat his beer down on the table and forcefully yanked the pillow out of her hands before hitting her in the side with it hard enough to almost knock her off her feet.

Celina's eyes widened in excitement at the veteran's acceptance of the game and she laughed yet again, staggering to find her balance once more and quickly grabbing the other bedroom pillow from the couch. She went to whack him back with it but being the brute of a man, he was, it was needless to say that it didn't do much good. A chuckle rumbled from his chest at her efforts to get the upper hand on him and he wacked her with the pillow again, "Well, common now, you're the one who wanted to play." Celina laughed until her face was red and tears were streaming down her face when he caught her pillow in his free hand and stared at her pointedly, "What you going to do now?"

She stuck her tongue against the inside of her cheek mischievously as she tried to formulate a plan to get herself out of the situation at hand, "I don't know..."

"You don't? What woman don't know?"

She snorted and glanced at the pillows nervously, there was no way she was going to get out of what was coming and she had completely done it to herself, "Shut up, Bill." He hit her with the pillow again, this time knocking her to the ground and she did the only thing she could do at that point, curled into the fetal position, shielding her face with her arms, "Stop, bully." She was laughing too hard to be taken seriously.

Bill grunted in amusement at the small woman curled up before him and tossed both pillows back over to the couch before reaching out a hand to her, "Common, I won't hit you no more."

Celina peered out from behind her arms slowly, cautiously to make sure that he no longer had any pillow in his possession. Having that proof that he was truly empty-handed, she grabbed hold of his hand and allowed him to pull her to her feet with a smile, "You seriously hadn't ever heard of a pillow fight before?"

"How would I have heard of a pillow fight?" He pointed to himself, "You act like I'm the type of guy who would go around hitting a fella with a pillow."

She smiled sheepishly and shrugged a bit before leaning in and placing a kiss against his lips, "You're fun, Bill. Thank you for putting up with me." Her eyes then trailed down his body, her mid becoming quickly focused on other games they could play. Her sheepish smile slowly twisted into a suggestive smirk, "Well, I know a few other games that you do know about."

Bill looked her up and down as well loving ever second of being able to know that she and her petite little body was all his. Dutch had lost her of his own doing, that was for him to suffer for and Bill to benefit from. The gang may have thought he was stupid but he definitely weren't so stupid not to do everything he could to keep to keep Celina by his side. He licked his lips slowly as he eyed her, hungrily, "Well... I reckon I beat you at all of those other games as well."

She pretended to think for a moment, rocking forward on her tiptoes again, "You know... you might... I'm not quite sure."

Bill was quiet for a moment, the wheels in his head turning, what could a woman like Celina possibly want with a man like him? He sure didn't like to think but he couldn't help but think that that was definitely something worth thinking about. It was a million dollar question, almost as valuable of a question as whether certain men were really men or... or sheep. He narrowed his eyes at her, it may be killing the mood but it was something that he thought he better ask before he thought too much on it. He weren't very good at thinking, "What..." He hesitated for a moment and almost changed his mind about asking the question, "What do you even want with someone like me?"

Just like that the mood had changed from playful to serious and Celina felt her heart sink at his question. She knew that he didn't have a lot of confidence in himself but still, the look on his face and the tone of voice he asked it when which bordered between nervous and upset was almost too much. It had been a little over two weeks of them doing what they were doing and even she wasn't exactly sure what was going on between the two of them, but she liked it. She liked it enough that she was worried about having to tell him and Dutch about the very likely possibility of her being pregnant. She walked over to the couch and sat down, watching him as he turned around to face her with that same worried expression on his face. She took another deep breath, "Bill..." She shook her head, "Dammit..."

"What does that mean?" He pressed a little, "Bill... Dammit?"

"It means I don't know what we're doing." She slapped her palms down on her knees in exasperation. She knew that she had to tell the truth though, to the best of her knowledge, ""I don't know exactly what were doing.. Dutch and I just broke up- weeks ago." She scoffed, "I'm not over him." She looked Bill directly in the eyes, "Heck, I don't know if I'll ever be over him. I... I tried to move on from him a while ago with Trelawny but that lasted all of a few days... I," She tilted her head to the side slightly in thought, "I don't know, I just don't know. Maybe things will be different this time, maybe I will move on from him..." She gestured to Bill and dared to say what was on her mind, "With you. I can't make any guarantees and I know that maybe this was unexpected between the two of us, really unexpected, but I'm not using you, Bill."

Celina thought about what she had just said for a moment and sighed the corner of her mouth twitching downwards, "Ok, maybe I was at first... maybe," She huffed, "Maybe I still kind of am a little bit? I don't know... I mean, ok." She laughed humorlessly, "I am using you somewhat but... I mean, I'm using you for sex... but I like our sex." She smiled genuinely and nodded, "I love our sex. And, maybe.. maybe I'm hoping that Dutch will be hurt by our relationship.. I want him to be. So, you could say that I'm using you to get back at Dutch in a way I guess." She licked her lips and help up a finger when Bill went to say something, preventing him from continuing, "I have seen you as a friend ever since you walked me back to that motel in Saint Denis when Dutch kissed Molly, and I started paying even more attention to you after you kept me from killing myself after we killed Micah."

She drummed her fingers on the side of the couch in thought, she was telling him the truth and it felt good, she only hoped that he wouldn't leave her once she got done letting it all out. truly, she hoped to God that she wasn't hurting his feelings at all, that wasn't her intention whatsoever. She continued, "When I first kissed you, it felt great, I loved it, I really did. After we first slept together, I knew that there was no way that that was going to be the only time it happened. As we started... fucking I guess I should put it, more... I started wanting you around more- not just because I wanted to get back at Dutch or take my mind off of him, I mean I suppose that was in the back of my mind, but it was mostly the fact that I wanted to have sex with you, truly. I wanted you around.. and I still feel like that." She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, hoping that he understood what she was trying to say, "I guess what I'm trying to say is yes, I want Dutch to notice, I want him to be jealous and I need sex because I need sex... but you're my first choice for all of those things... I want to do those things, satisfy those things with you.. and no one else. Of everyone I could have tried to go after to fulfil those needs, I chose you, I choose you." She fidgeted nervously with her hands hoping that what she said didn't sound terrible, "As time goes on, this becomes less and less about Dutch and more and more about us..."

Bill eyed her for a moment and for that moment, quite possibly the most intense moment of her life, or one of them at least, she felt like a weight was on her chest. Finally, he spoke, "I understand."

Celina opened her mouth before shutting it again, realizing that he had said that he understood a moment after he said it. She licked her lips and the wheels in her mind began turning again. Was that all he had to say, really?

Lately, Celina's beliefs about Bill had been changing even more, due to the fact they had gotten as close as they now were.. due to the fact they had been having sex she felt like she was finally getting close enough to Bill to learn who he truly was. Bill Williamson was a man with a good heart and while he said and did stupid things at time, Celina was becoming less and less willing to believe he was a stupid man. In fact, she didn't believe he was a stupid man, not at all. He wasn't the brightest, no, but he wasn't stupid and everyone did stupid things sometimes. He may not have always been 'all there' but RDR2 had made him seem more stupid than he really was.

Bill Williamson was a man of average intelligence as she had come to discover over the last couple weeks. Heck, she had had the suspicion that he wasn't as stupid as everyone made him out out to be even when she only saw him as a friend. Just, when they talked, it was clear to her, Bill Williamson wasn't too smart, and he wasn't always 'with It' but he wasn't stupid. Not really. And the stupid things he did and said, she found herself chopping it up to be the effect that drinking as much alcohol as he did had on him.

So, when he said that he understood, she nodded, believing it and taking it as the truth. Bill Williamson had a clear mind, most of the time and right now, she found herself wanting to kiss him. She swallowed, if he understood, he could still have taken what she had said to him wrong and she truly hoped that he hadn't, so cautiously, she pushed the matter a little bit, "Do you still want to do what we're doing? Because I understand if you don't... I mean, I hope that you want to... maybe I shouldn't have said anything about it."

"No," Bill started, choosing his words carefully as he usually did, "I'm glad that you were honest with me. I, I am."

Celina smiled at him in relief, "Well good, I wasn't sure if I was wording that right."

"Still," Bill walked over and picked up his beer bottle, taking another swig from it, "I don't see why you want anything to do with me... or, at least why you want me like you have me, presently speaking... not when I'm seen as the dumb drunk of the group." He sat his beer down, "I'm not... dumb. Not generally any more dumb than Arthur or the rest of them, you and Dutch are smarter... Hosea is smarter... but I'm just as smart as the rest."

"I know you are." She agreed, "Generally." She meant it, sincerely meant it, "You make some dumb comments sometimes but I think when you do that, it ain't because you're dumb, it's because you're distracted or just aren't thinking straight."

Bill stared at her for a moment as if she had just revealed the truest information in the world, "Well that's..." Bill laughed lightly in agreement as well, "That's true. That's exactly it. You know, I... I weren't even always like this.. I, a-after the army things were just different, you know?" He took a deep breath and Celina watched him, feeling tears prick at her eyes. She cared about Bill, she really did and she hung onto every word he said. She knew than not many people had gotten to know him like she was getting to and not many people would. This was special, moments like this, "After the army, I just started feeling detached, distant..." He was quest for a moment again, "I don't know. But people didn't always just look at me as big, stupid, Bill."

Celina shook her head and continued to listen to him, RDR2 gave more of an insight into the Bill Williamson before he became the leader of the Williamson gang as did what was recorded in history but she felt neither depiction did his justice, not really. You see, Bill Williamson wasn't a stupid man, not generally and although he was laughed at when he said he just didn't like to think... over the year and a half or so she had known him, she had come to realize that actually was the case. It wasn't that he couldn't think as clearly as the rest of them, it was that he truly just didn't like to think. The more he talked, the more she wanted him to continue, she wanted him to tell her all about himself, "I started drinking more after the army.. getting more forgetful, trying to think less." He shook his head, "I wish I would have never joined the army, I'm afraid that it's started the process of turning me into my pa... I'm a damn alcoholic and as much as I do love alcohol..." He glanced back at the beer bottle, "It's got a better grip on me than I can explain."

Celina didn't quite know what to say. Really, what was one supposed to say to something like that? She chewed on her bottom lip lightly as she tried to think of a response, she had to say something. She couldn't just sit thee in silence after he opened up to her like that. "I," She started, might as well be honest, "I don't think that I really know what to say to that... I mean... if you want to try to quit, drinking... maybe I can try to help...I-"

"I don't want to quit drinking," Bill shook his head at the thought, "It's the one thing that can get me through day to day. "I... I told you before about how I was when Dutch found me two years after I was discharged from the army... I was like I was... I was like you was after we killed Micah. I'm afraid if I didn't have alcohol during that time I would have done it... and I..." Bill took a deep breath. He looked at her as if she could read his mind or knew him to the depths of his soul, "If I didn't have alcohol now, I may still consider doing it if it weren't for the gang... maybe even though I'm a part of the gang... I don't know. Know one knows what it's like to be me, to go around with these memories that I have of the war... of my dad.. to go around thinking that I may end up as crazy as my old man some day." He shook his head and lifted his bottle again, drinking the last drop, "Sometimes I think it would be better if I just didn't wake up one morning."

Celina had tears freely running down her face at that point, "Bill, I..."

"I know," He nodded at her, "I know, you feel bad for me. I weren't telling you to make you feel bad."

"I know you weren't... I just... I don't like to think of you as unhappy like that. I believe in you, I think you'll be fine. If I'm being honest, I do worry about how much you drink when it comes to your health but I can deal with it... I mean, it's not like you're a mean drunk, just a... well, I actually think that you're kind of a thoughtful drunk ironically." She poke and Bill listened without so much as trying to interrupt her, "That said though, I do wish there was something I could do to help make you feel better, help you take your mind off of the things that you don't want it on."

"You do." He nodded and looked down at the empty beer bottle in his hand once again, "You do make it better." He looked down at the ground then and shifted his weight rather awkwardly, his hat tipping down slightly, "I... well, there's something that I have been holding inside for a long while now."

Celina looked at him in curiosity, wondering what it could be exactly that he had been holding inside and why he would be wanting to reveal it now, "What is it?"

Bill huffed heavily, "Well, I..." He fixed his hat and shook his head, exhaling sharply and raising his right hand in exasperation, "I don't know how to say it, hell, I don't even know that I want to say it... not after this conversation."

Now Celina's interest was truly triggered and she stared at him almost pleadingly, "I wish you'd tell me what it is now, especially since you brought it up." Seeing that he looked truly troubled as to whether he wanted to say it or not, she decided that she wouldn't push him, he had already told her enough for the night and if he wanted to stop there, she didn't think it would really be right of her to push more information out of him no matter how badly she wanted to know what else he might have to say, "I won't push," That was a promise not only to him, but to herself as well, "If you want to tell me you'll tell me and when you tell me the time will be right." She licked her lips, "Thank you, for hearing me out and talking to me honestly tonight... it really makes me feel closer to you and... well, I like that."

"I like that too," Bill's reply was instant, adamant and matter-of-fact. He set his jaw and looked off to the side for a moment before tipping his head back as he fought with himself on whether to sat what it was that he had been certain of for over a year, "Hell..." He muttered under his breath and mustered up all of his courage, "You may not know exactly how you feel about me right now, but I... well, I love you, dammit."

A/N: Sorry about no update yesterday you guys, was a really busy day at work and then I came home and... well, I didn't feel like writing even one lick lol. So, I tried to write anyway and it just didn't happen. Today it happened, obviously and please if you guys would, let me know what you think about this chapter. I really liked writing the Celina and Bill bit and it is the longest scene with them I have ever written, I really think that it helps to clarify their relationship more and help show their dynamic/chemistry more so please, comment if you can because I really want to know what you al think about this.

Also, I am working up to the events of RDR1 but it is a slow process as I really do want to fill in most of the time gap between the two games. I think that I could really do some interesting things with it and enhance the story by doing so. I am really trying to add more depth to Bill's character and may start doing so for Javier's character as well. Going into the events of 1911 I think that doing so for both is just extremely important as it will help explain why Celina is going to be making some of the choices she does regarding some of the events in the first game.

Also, it has been revealed that she will be making a trip to Fort Mercer upon finding out about Bill's future gang. I'm really interested in any thought/predictions anyone has on this?

Disclaimer: I do not own Red Dead Redemption 1 or 2 or anything associated with it.


	7. Chapter 7

"What I wasn't to talk to you about is the fact that bounty hunters found us, Dutch." She raked her hand through her hair tiredly, not really wanting to have to have the talk that she was having to have with him. It really seemed that she had to talk to him about laying low all too often and it only made her appreciate the time they had had with Hosea more and more. It really did seem like that old man was the one doing the keeping Dutch in check until she had come into the gang all those years ago. She broke out the crayons, figuratively speaking for the outlaw before her, "If you keep going on heists, putting us in danger... putting James and this new baby in danger... I am going to have no choice but to leave, Dutch." She shrugged at the look of disbelief reflected in his dark eyes and exhaled deeply, "I don't know what to tell you at this point. I am well and truly at a loss."

Dutch swallowed and stared at her nervously, was she serious or was she just blowing steam? He was afraid to ask but from her body language and the fact that her face was about as red as a tomato, he figured that she wasn't just blowing steam. She had had several 'talks' with him before over the fact that she believed they couldn't afford to be pulling off anymore heists but she had never outright threatened to leave him if he continued with the way of life he was so used to. Could he do it? Could he really put his urge, his near need to rob aside so that he could keep her in his life? He sure hoped so... then again, he wasn't quite sure. She had fallen in love with him knowing the life he led. Did she really have ground to demand that he turn from it? What he found himself faced with was quite the ultimatum. He took a deep breath and looked her up and down for a long moment, he knew that he was probably quiet for too long just as he knew that his next words would dictate what happened in the next few moments, "I," He started to compose his answer carefully, was it really the one he wanted to give? He had to be sure, he had to be completely sure as he didn't think in her current state, Celina would allow him to take back his words even if he wanted to. If he said that he could do it, truly give up the outlaw life and yet not actually do it, there wasn't a question in his mind that she would leave with the kinds without so much as a goodbye. Last night had brought her to the breaking point with the life he was attached to, he could see that. It had been too much, it had all been too much. He diverted his eyes from the woman that was carrying a child which was his with a sigh before meeting her gaze again slowly, "I have fought change all of my life. I have fought for this life, for freedom and equality, against the law... against the brainwashed opinions of society."

Celina felt her heart beginning to sink down towards her stomach and she did her best to brace herself for what he was going to say. How he was starting it, she had a feeling that she wasn't going to like what she heard. The look on his face, she knew that look, it was the look Dutch got whenever he was unwilling to budge in his decision. The words that were leaving his mouth now, they were thought out carefully. He knew that this was going to be their final discussion regarding whether to rob or not to rob and he was making his side on the topic clear. Still, she listened as the man she had spent the last five years with spoke without attempting to interrupt him, "This life that I live, I live it to provide for this gang, you understand that, don't you? I have to, do you know how expensive it is to provide for so many people?" His face softened at that, "Or at least how expensive it was... and I had to... change." The look on his face was one of amazement, "Change doesn't always have to be bad, it can be good." He twisted the ring on his finger, "I see that. I know that we are getting by, living like we are, small, private robbery here and there, selling crops in the winter. Using our livestock, fruits and vegetables for food... it's working." He spead his arms wide with a smile and light laugh, "Its... it's working. I see that and I couldn't be anymore happy. I am not a man who changes my way of life easily though, Celina. If you knew how hard it is for me to change then perhaps you would understand more..." He sighed, "But, seeing that we can get by without the big heists, "I am willing to let them go for now at least... I can't promise that they won't happen again." He stared into her eyes, looking for any sign that she had stopped listening to what he had to say but finding none much to his relief, "What I can promise you is that I will try. I will do my best to be the man you deserve, to me the man you need, the one you want. I will try to live this life that we have built in a good and honest manner." He raised his hand to stop her when she finally went to speak, "Please just hear me out and stick with me through this. We won't attract any more attention and we will let the law and bounty hunters get off our backs again. We have enough money now after that bank to make it through this winter. At least, I think we do." He laughed, "Point is, we always can use more money. There's safety and security in knowing that we have enough cash to face whatever is thrown at us. Next year... to get through the winter, we will do something else... maybe expand the number of crops and livestock we sell... raise the prices..." He shrugged, "I don't know, I just don't know. We will do our best though to prevent having to rob to get by."

Celina stared at the man before her for a long moment quietly as if she was not motivated to even say anything back to him. She looked disappointed despite what he had said, completely. The color in her face had paled to the point that she looked sick. She nodded slowly though, inhaling just as slow, "I see." That was all she said for a moment. Dutch couldn't promise her that they were done with the heists. For her, in her mind, that meant that they would be done with them for a bit and then when he really started itching for one, he would come up with excuses as to why getting another score was needed. He would then start trying to convince her that they were in the clear and that they weren't going to get busted by the law not bounty hunters for one reason or another. He would start wanting to go on more and more heists after getting comfortable with the smaller, less frequent ones and then they would be right back where they were again. He may believe the words that left his mouth at the present time, and she believed that he did believe them.. or at least she hoped that he believed them. If he didn't mean them, then that was another situation entirely. She highly doubted that Dutch would lie to her, in fact, she thought that what he said stemmed from his attempt to be nothing but honest with her. The honest truth was that Dutch may never change and that it was only going to be a matter of time before he was robbing a bank again, or possibly a train. She looked down at the floor with a heavy heart. Could she really leave him? Celina glanced over at the door of their bedroom when she heard James outside it doing what sounded like knocking something over. She shook her head and met his gaze with tears in her eyes, "I love you, Dutch. Why... why can't you just stop? For me... for us... for the kids?" She sniffled, "Thank, you, for being honest with me, but... I... I wouldn't be so upset over the robberies if it weren't for the kids... you and I are used to this life, the gang is used to this life, we would be able to get by, we would hopefully be fine..." She took a shaky breath and exhaled slowly, trying to calm herself down, "There are kids in the picture though and them growing up in a life of crime? That is dangerous, that is so dangerous and I... I can't stand the thought of them paying the price for our actions. This... this life was supposed to be a chance to life quietly, to keep our freedom but be safe about it and making as much noise as we had lately... that is like throwing it all out the window. I can't keep doing that, Dutch... I." She bit down on the inside of her cheek in thought and shook her head yet again, "I need time to think about what to do as far as us... as far as whether I need to leave and wish you all the best or stick it out with you all... I," She couldn't keep the fresh tears from rolling down her cheeks, "I don't want to leave, Dutch. I love you, I love this gang and I love this life.. but... the kids," She sighed and glanced over at the door again, "Maybe I'm a bad mom because I can't make the snap decision to leave for James' sake... or for the sake of this new baby. You've got to understand though, Dutch, this isn't an easy decision for me... I..." She wiped at her tears, "I am so sorry."

Dutch hesitated for a moment before saying anything himself, he couldn't promise that he wouldn't ever go on a heist such as he loved to do ever again. He couldn't and Dutch couldn't break yet another promise to her. He should be able to be done with the life that he lived, he should be able to turn from it and not go back, ever. He had a good life at the homestead with Celina and the kids and the gang.. but he just couldn't shake the desire to live the outlaw life he had lived for over thirty years. It was who he was, it was what he stood for. If he didn't do what he did, then what exactly would life hold for him? He didn't need to rob all the time, he knew that to do something like that would be truly stupid and reckless but every once and a while? He needed that, he needed the adrenaline rush, the satisfaction of bringing in yet another score... the satisfaction of knowing that he had pulled one over on the law which he hated with his entire being yet again. He wanted to be a father and he wanted to be the man in Celina needed, so why couldn't he just choose her over the life he lived. He groaned, he couldn't not right then and there, he couldn't make a promise that he wasn't for sure that he could keep and he truly hoped that his promise to try to leave that life behind could possibly be enough to get her to stay. Shen she turned to leave the room without another word, he reached out and grabbed her arm to stop her, Celina turned around and looked up at him with the blue eyes he loved so dearly, "What do you want?"

He was almost at loss for words as he looked down at her, he opened his mouth only for one word to find its way out, "You." It sounded stupid, he knew it did, but he couldn't help it, it was the truth more than anything in the world. He wanted her, he really, truly wanted her. He couldn't help it if he couldn't promise change. He was the same man whom she had fallen in love with all those years ago, couldn't that be enough? She wouldn't leave him, not truly. Not over something like that. She loved the outlaw life, she had admitted that to him many times before. They could keep the kids safe and they would be fine, he just had to prove that to her.

Apparently saying 'you' weren't enough because after that, Celina pulled away from him and started at him with disbelief written across her face, "You do realize that I ripped out a man's throat with my teeth trying to get us out of a situation that you had gotten us into, right? What makes you think that that is who I want our kids to know me as?"

When Dutch couldn't think of a response quick enough for Celina, she scoffed at him and swung the door open and left the room, slamming the door shut behind her. James ran up to his mother upon seeing her exit the bedroom and a smile immediately formed on Celina's face through her tears, "Hey baby, what are you doing?"

"Playing." James held up a stick that she had reluctantly allowed him to bring into the house the previous night, "I'm battling."

"You're battling?" Her voice rose in interest as she humored the young child, "Well who are you battling?"

"Pinkertons." Celina laughed out loud at that, he sure was a son of the Van Der Linde gang, "You're battling Pinkertons... with a sword?"

"No!" He huffed as if what he was doing were obvious and looked down at the stick, seeing it as something entirely different than what it really was in his young mind of imagination, "It's not a sword, it's a gun, mommy."

"Oh," Celina went along with it at the drop of a hat, "Is it a gun?" She gently took if from him and turned it over in her hands, pretending to assess the 'gun' with approval, "I am sorry, I didn't realize that before. It's a nice gun, Jimmy. Where did you get it?"

He took it back from her, excited that it received her approval, "Uncle Arthur gave it to me."

"Oh did he?" She laughed. So, it was Arthur who had given him a stick and convinced him that it was a gun. Of course it was Arthur who had done that, who else? She shook her head, still with the smile of adoration on her face for her little boy. She thought back to what had happened the high before and what could happen... the Pinkertons could find them where they were at. She hoped to God that they wouldn't, but they could. If they did, Dutch would be killed for sure and the rest of the gang would likely be taken into custody or go down fighting the law. Where would that leave James? In a foster home? On the street? Dead? Turning to a dangerous life of crime himself? Vengeful and against the law because he had known without doubt that they had invaded their home and killed his family? Celina took a deep breath and ruffled his dark brown hair, "Mommy is going to go for a walk, ok buddy? I'll be back soon, keep your daddy company and make sure he stays out of trouble."

James nodded up at her before running off with his gun and pointing it at random inanimate objects in the house, making fake gun noises. Celina watched him for a moment and took another deep breath before looking down at her stomach which didn't yet show a hint of pregnancy. If anything happened to James... or to the baby which was currently growing inside her because she loved Dutch too much to stand her ground with him, she would never forgive herself. Never. Leaving... leaving didn't have to mean that Dutch was out of her life or even out of the lives of the kids, it would just mean that they were independent from him.. that she was no longer with Dutch and he no longer had a direct impact on her life or her choices. If she left, she would no longer have to stress over her relationship with Dutch on a romantic scale and that thought was both saddening and somehow slightly relieving.

She felt a tear prick at the corner of her eye and raised her hand to wipe it away before it fell. She didn't want anyone to see her crying over Dutch, not again. She didn't want anyone to see her crying over anything. She wished that she could chop her tears up to pregnancy hormones... of course she could lie and tell everyone that that was what they were... Of course there would be no fooling herself though, unfortunately. The young woman made her way outside, looking over at Javier who was in the pig pen for one reason or another and then at Bill who sat on the fence of the pig pen, watching Javier do whatever he was doing. She couldn't help it, whatever the men were doing peaked her interest and she found herself approaching them in curiosity, immediately doing her best to block out the decision she was sure would keep her awake at night, "What are you guys doing with the pigs?"

Bill looked over at her first, "Just checking on them."

She climbed up onto the fence and sat beside Bill, watching as Javier was finally successful in pinning the smallest of them to the ground. He pried its mouth open with his fingers and reached in to remove fabric from it's mouth. He looked over his shoulder at the two who sat there watching them and held up the nearly swallowed cloth, "She almost had this for dinner."

Celina couldn't help but laugh at him, "All of this just to keep a pig from swallowing cloth?"

The Mexican nodded and climbed over the fence to exit the pen, "Well yeah, she couldn't have digested that."

Celina was quiet for a moment, staring directly at Javier who looked entirely convinced that what he said was the truth, "You know..." She looked over to Bill who looked just as convinced that the pig had nearly sentenced herself to certain death, "Hogs can digest anything... even bones."

"What?" Bill asked, his voice raising a few octaves as it typically always did when he was surprised, "How is that even possible? Digesting... bones."

Celina shrugged and hopped down of the fence, "They just can, it's nature. They were designed that way. Heck, I've heard of murders feeding dead bodies to hogs to dispose of the dead bodies... they're savage animals."

Javier stated back at the pigs for a moment in thought and pursed his lips, "There's something I didn't know."

Celina nodded with another small laugh, "And now I know that you both are big softies."

"Oh, shut up," Bill whined as he climbed off the fence and back to the ground as well, "Just because we didn't want to lose our livestock doesn't mean that we're softies."

"I think otherwise, I saw how intensely the two of you were focused on that little pig, you're softies." When they both stared at her, ready to defend themselves, she laughed even harder and raised her hand in admittance, "It is actually pretty cute. Do that and the two of you might actually be able to pick up women." She smirked when Javier stepped threateningly towards her and skipped backwards just out of his reach, "That's wrong? Too close to the truth? I'm telling you... women like sensitive men like yourselves."

Bill shook his head and raised his hand dismissively before walking away, Celina staring at him with a mischievous smile, she loved to get under their skin. They wouldn't do anything about it either... ever, no matter how big and tough they liked to act, she would never relent. Celina leaned against the fence lazily and looked out over the land that they owned. It was beautiful, truly and time got away from her as she slipped back into her thoughts.

Bill started back towards her after she watched him speaking with Dutch who had glanced over her way more than she would have liked. The veteran called out to her as he approached, "Dutch wants to speak to you."

Celina scoffed at those words, "Yeah, well, I think me and Dutch are just about done speaking."

Bill's eyes widened at that claim, "What does that mean?"

Celina shrugged carelessly, "He would rather be an outlaw than a husband to me or a father to James or this new baby." She had said 'new baby' without much thought, actually without thought at all that she was saying it out loud and that Dutch had been the only other one to know about her new pregnancy prior to revealing it to Bill.

He was quiet for a moment before nodding, "You... you're pregnant... you're pregnant again?"

She swallowed and nodded back at him, feeling a surge of emotion at the look on his face, he looked hurt. Maybe... maybe her thinking that he looked hurt at that information was just what she thought, maybe he wasn't hurt. Maybe he wasn't upset at all although it seemed to her that he was at least mildly disappointed. It was awkward, talking to Bill about her relationship with Dutch especially after they had spent some time as a couple themselves. She looked at the ground rather awkwardly as she tried to get her thoughts straight. She hated having to admit to Bill that Dutch had gotten her pregnant for sure this time around and she really hoped that he wasn't hurt by that undeniable fact, "Yes," she confirmed it verbally, meeting his gaze, "I am pregnant again."

She could almost see the wheels in the veteran's head turning, his brow furrowed in thought and he made eye contact with her, "What makes you think that Dutch would rather be an outlaw than a husband or a father?"

Celina gestured back to the house, "We just got in an argument yet again over him and his heists. I'm scared, Bill, I'm terrified that we're all going to continue living like this and eventually one of my kids are going to get mixed up in and hurt by it." She shook her head at the thought that scared her more than anything, "If it were just all of us living this way then it wouldn't be as much of an issue. Innocent kids though? They deserve better than this, they deserve to be safe and Dutch... I'm worried that as long as I stay with Dutch, I'm never going to be able to ensure their safety." Fresh tears rolled down her face and she wiped at them quickly.

"Hey," Bill reached out to her awkwardly, "Don't cry, it'll be alright." He stared at her for a moment and then turned back to look in the direction of the house himself, "If-" he exhaled heavily, "If Dutch don't want to- or can't be the father those kids need... the man you need... I." He looked into her eyes as if he wished that she could just read his mind, "If he won't do what needs to be done to keep them safe..." He glanced down at her stomach and went silent.

Celina waited for him to finish saying what it was he was trying to say but when he made no effort to continue speaking, she spoke instead, "If all Dutch is going to to is put these kids in danger with the life he just can't turn from no matter what, I think I'm going to have to leave... I think I'm going to have to go off on my own for the safety of my kids. I don't want to leave, I want to stay here with all of you but as a mother, James and the baby I'm pregnant with now have to come first."

Bill nodded, "I get that, but you would really leave Dutch... permanently?"

She did her best to keep from crying more and nodded, "If keeping me and the kids around isn't enough to get him to change... then I guess after all these years I know where I stand with him. It breaks my heart, Bill, but I don't think he's capable of loving me as much as I love him... if he did, he wouldn't let me go." She scoffed and raised her hands in exasperation, "How hard can it be to not rob a bank or a train or anything of the sort?"

"... It ain't hard." Bill shook his head, "It ain't hard, not at all. You have to do what you have to do, for love."

Celina eyed him for a moment and reached out to him, grasping his hand gently in her own and looking down at their hands, "I really did love you, Bill. I was in love with you. I wish you could have believed me."

Bill stared down at their hands and pulled his away slowly, "If..." he looked back over at the house again, "I ain't real good for you." He said it matter of fact, "And I ain't real good for a kid... I... If..." He was quiet for a moment as he tried to get his words in order, "Dammit." He spat the word out bitterly, "Maybe if you leave, I'll leave with you... if you want.. maybe..." He whined, not exactly being able to make up his mind right then and there, "I don't know. I don't know if it's a good idea but... I... I never thought I'd make a good father. I'm just a drunk like my own but if the kids need a father and you leave... maybe I'll go with you and..." he sighed, "Maybe I'll work on my drinking problem."

Celina could hardly believe the words that she had just heard come out of Bill Williamson's mouth. Back when she was pregnant with James who lately she had been in the habit of calling Jimmy, she would have been ready to go right in that moment. Her heart soared at the thought of what Bill had proposed, it sounded so great that she could almost see it. Still she was confused, could she really up and leave like she was talking about? Could she leave Dutch in the past or possibly change how she viewed him to only as a friend? She licked her lips, could Bill really quit drinking so much? If he could that would definately be great for his health and maybe he could make a decent father out of himself. She took a deep breath, "I'll... I'll let you know what I decide but that... that sounds nice, that sounds really nice."

Bill nodded at her, looking a little nervous himself that he had just put himself out there like that, "Well, I just... I don't know, I just figure that it's as good a chance of James being mine as there is him being Dutch's... and if Dutch ain't going to be a father, then he's in need of one and... Well, it might as well me me, and for the other one too."

Celina still was having a hard time processing what he was telling her, "Ok... I'll... I'm going to think about it. I'll let you know, ok?"

Bill nodded, "Yeah, you... you just let me know and we can figure something out. Do something."

"I will." She walked off slowly, a million thoughts racing through her mind, "I will."

...

A/N: There's the next chapter you guys, we're getting closer and closer to the events of RDR1 and I expect the next time jump is going to happen within the next couple chapters. Anyway, let me know what you think as always, it truly makes my day.

What do you think/want Celina to do?

Any predictions about Fort Mercer?

Hope you all enjoyed!

Disclaimer: I do not own Red Dead Redemption 1 or 2 or anything associated with it.


	8. Chapter 8

"Jimmy, come here baby, there's something mommy has got to tell you." Celina called James over to her from where she sat on her bed.

James looked at her in question, dropping the stick that he had literally spent all day playing with, "What is it mommy?" He walked over to her slowly as if he were afraid that he was going to get in trouble.

Celina reached her arms out to the small boy and with her hands on either side of his torso, she held him about an arms distance away, looking him in the eyes, "How would you like to go on a trip with uncle Bill and I?"

James looked away from her and at the ground, his attention span threatening to falter. Surprisingly though, he stayed on topic, asking the question that hurt her the most, "Will daddy come?"

Tears pricked at her eyes at the mention of Dutch and she sniffled, shaking her head slowly, "No baby, daddy is going to stay here and take care of some things. He needs to stay her for the gang. They need him."

"Why?"

"Because," She did her best to think of a good way to put it. She didn't want to villainize Dutch in James' mind, "Because the gang can't go with us and your daddy is the leader of the gang. They need him to stay here and make sure nothing bad happens to any of them... You can still see him sometimes, we'll visit him, and he will still be your daddy... we're just going to be living away from him for a little while. Don't you think it would be fun to go off with uncle Bill like a vacation for a while?"

James fidgeted with his hands as he thought, and Celina felt bad for pretty, much lying to him even though he was just a child and she was his parent. He would see Dutch, periodically but there was no way that once they left it would be just a vacation. She stared at him for a moment, before trying to get a response from him, "You ok, buddy?"

"Yeah," His voice came out in a small squeak, "I don't think I want to go on a vacation though. Can't we wait for daddy?"

Celina chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, this was going to be harder than she thought. James of course didn't want to leave Dutch and Celina didn't want to leave Dutch either, not really, no matter what a pain in the butt he was. She took a deep breath and nodded, standing up from the bed, it wasn't exactly about what they wanted to do but what she had to do to ensure Jimmy's safety. Sometimes, that meant a hard decision had to be made, "I'm going to talk to your daddy tonight and we're going to try to work this out. But..." She frowned slightly at her son, "Odds are this vacation is going to happen buddy. Ok?"

She thought on it for a moment before an idea came to her, "Actually, why don't you go and tell daddy that you and I are going on a vacation, ok? But don't say anything about uncle Bill."

Jimmy looked at her with big eyes, "Do you think he'll come with us if he don't know uncle Bill's going?"

Celina tucked her lips in and nodded hopefully, "I think he will." She hoped that she was right in thinking that maybe if Dutch knew that Celina had mentioned leaving to James he would realize how serious she was and change his mind about the life he wanted to live. Hopefully it would work, if not, she was at a loss. Getting James to talk to Dutch was the last option she felt she had. She offered a small smile to the unknowing little boy and spun him around with a laugh, "Now go and talk to your daddy."

James took off excitedly out of the room and on a mission to go find Dutch and convince him to go on the 'vacation' she laid back on the bed, exhaling deeply and closing her eyes. Suddenly, she heard a gunshot, followed by a series of shouts and she sat upright on the bed immediately, her eyes flying open. So much for a moment of peace. The woman sprung from the bed, her heart racing so quickly that she was half-expecting to drop over of a heart attack. Quickly, she withdrew her two revolvers from their holsters and ran out of the room, ready to fight, "Jimmy? James! Where are you?" She looked around frantically for the small boy, shouting over the sound of gunfire. The situation was not good, it was really, truly not good. Hearing no response from James, fear gripped her heart even tighter, "James? Buddy! Answer me!"

Still with no response, Celina took cover against the wall, watching as a bullet planted itself into said wall just a few feet away. She took a deep breath, "Jimmy, please buddy, let me know if you're in here." Surely the boy had to still be in the house, he wouldn't have had time to make it outside before the shooting started, would he?

Finally, she heard his small voice coming from close by although she wasn't exactly sure where from, "I'm here, mommy."

She released the breath that she had been holding, "Ok, ok. Good buddy. Good. You're not hurt, are you?"

"No. What's happening?" He sounded scared, and with reason of course. Saying that he sounded scared was putting it lightly, he sounded terrified.

Celina fired when she caught sight of a Pinkerton through the window, shooting him directly in the head, "We're under attack buddy."

"Under attack? By who?"

She took a deep breath, "The law, bud." It was a tricky thing, explaining to him that the law was the one attacking them. By society of course, the law were the good guys. The Van Der Linde gang weren't bad people, but they did bad things. That was undeniable. So, in speaking to the boy, was she supposed to make out the law to be the bad guys? Or was she supposed to own up to their reputation in the eyes of the law in the case that she, Dutch and Bill wouldn't live through their current fight to raise him? She licked her lips slowly in thought and chose her words to the best of her ability knowing that what she said then and there could quite possibly shape the rest of the boy's life if the worst were to happen, "To us, buddy, the law is our enemy... to the law, we are the bad guys. Because they think that we're the bad guys, they're coming after us, ok? That's why I wanted to go on a vacation, keep you safe from the law. Because... because the law thinks your daddy is really, really bad."

"Is daddy bad?"

She swallowed, "No buddy. Daddy isn't bad. He just disagrees with the law." Dang it, and now Jimmy was going to grow up to be an outlaw himself. If the situation had been different and she had the time to stop and explain everything to him better then she would have but it just didn't seem like that was in the cards at the moment. She fired at another law man as he ran past the window and hit him in the shoulder, "When you get older you can decide yourself if you agree with the law or not."

"Do you agree, mommy? With the law?"

Celina took a deep breath, sure, Jimmy was just a young boy but man did he decide to interrogate her at the worst of times sometimes, she shook her head, "No buddy, I do not agree with the law." She wanted to laugh at that, if she did agree with the law then that would be an issue all together, "Do you remember what I told you to do if we had a bad situation?"

"Get in the chest."

"Yes," She nodded, tears began to run down her face, "Go and get in the chest buddy and stay there until someone tells you to come out, ok? And I want you to crawl there."

"Ok." Once James agreed to do what he was told, it was a matter of a minute or so before he came crawling past her in the most adorable manner and down the hall towards the bedroom. She couldn't help but to smile at her little buddy as he did exactly as he was told without further question. It was hard to believe that he was nearly five years old.

She bit down on her lip, they had to get through this and hopefully Dutch would finally open his eyes because of the events of the day and decide to stop living the outlaw life. It was too dangerous with how the world had gotten, it just wasn't worth it anymore. It was because of Dutch and his inability to listen to her that had gotten their beautiful home riddled with bullet holes. It was Dutch and his inability to not rob places that had once again gotten them in the eye of the law and tore apart the life they had all worked so hard to build. It was Dutch's fault that they may all finally be paying for their sins with their lives and it was his fault that James may grow up without a family and the baby she was currently pregnant with may not live to see the world. Celina ducked down behind the couch as she made her way towards the window and took cover beside said window, elbowing the glass out and taking position to fire into the chest of the closest Pinkerton.

Dutch was in sight, hiding behind the nearest outhouse and she took a deep breath, praying for his safety as well as everyone else's in the gang. None of their own could die in this. They had to be ok, they had to all be ok and they would go off and settle down somewhere else after they got out of this mess. They would... that's how it had to be, she wouldn't accept life any other way. She fired at and killed a law man who was closing in on Dutch unbeknownst to him. Not being able to get a good view of the land around her and where any enemies might be from where she was at, she hopped out of the broken window and took cover behind one of the posts out on their porch. "Better," She breathed under her breath, "Much better."

She scanned the area not only for their enemies but also the gang members, she had already spotted Dutch and was comfortable with the fact that he was easily within her sight. She then spotted Lenny, ducked behind some wooden crates off to the left and Arthur and Sadie who had taken cover behind some trees to the right. Those were the only ones who she could see and despite being relieved that the four of them were currently safe, fear gripped her heart for the rest of the gang.

Sure, they owned a big lot of land and they could be fighting from anywhere on it, but... where were they? She set her jaw and tried to push back her fear for the others as she focused on the fight at hand. She hated not knowing whether everyone was still alive or not. Bill. What if Bill had been shot, possibly killed? A tear rolled down her cheek which she couldn't manage to hold in. Javier, was he ok? Sean? The others?... How about John, Abbigail and Jack? Had the law found where they were holed up too?

She bit her lip hard enough to draw blood as she watched their beautiful homestead be ripped apart by bullets. It was like a nightmare come true. It was like seeing her dream be destroyed right before her very eyes and the wort part about it all was that it wasn't a dream. It wasn't something that she could wake up from and it wasn't something she had the power to do anything about.

She glanced over at the pigpen upon hearing them carrying on in fear of what was going on around them. Everything was ruined... everything was destroyed. The only chance they had to recover was if they could all get out together. Together and alive. She fired off a few more shots at the law, flinching again when a bullet whizzed past her head and embedded itself into the house. It had been close, it had been way too close for her liking.

She watched in confusion as Dutch ran out of cover and back into the house, motioning for her to follow him after shouting as loudly as he could that they were all going to have to flee. Of course, Celina followed him quickly taking cover behind the thick walls of the house which would protect them for the time being. She immediately turned to him in question, "Why are we leaving when we can stay and defend this place?"

Dutch shook his head and held up his hand as he caught his breath, "There's more coming. They've brought an army. If you go out there," He gestured out to the road, "You would be able to see them. We got to leave, and now or we're going to all be killed."

Celina nodded quickly, her heart hammering away in her chest, "I'll go get Jimmy. He's in the chest."

Dutch nodded again, "Ok," He walked quickly with her towards the bedroom and kicked the door open, "Jimmy, you come out now son."

Jimmy slowly opened the chest at the sound of the man he knew as his father's voice and climbed out of the chest with a nervous expression on his face, "Did we win? Is the law dead?"

"No buddy, we need to leave, and we need to leave now." Celina was the one to answer him, immediately making her way over to him and lifting him into her arms so that they wouldn't have to worry about him lagging behind. She turned her attention back to the door at the sound of footsteps, relaxing when she saw that it was only Arthur, Sadie and Lenny.

Arthur looked at Dutch and Celina, "We've got to leave, now. They're coming in and fast."

Celina felt her heart sink even lower at that and she peered out of the room and down the hall, looking for any others of the gang, "Where's everyone else? Bill... Javier... Charles... Sean... where are they all?"

There a heavy moment of silence before Sadie gave her an answer she didn't want to hear even in the slightest, "We... we don't know. They may be hiding in different areas fighting as well but we don't know. We were the only ones out front."

Celina shook her head and looked back at Dutch who looked just as worried as the rest of them, "Dutch, you can't tell me that we're just going to leave them behind. We can't... Leave without knowing where they are or if they are alive or-"Her voice broke off, "Or... or dead."

He took in a deep breath, "I'm afraid that we do not have a choice."

"No." She felt tears prick at her eyes once again, she could hardly believe how drastically the day had changed. She shook her head. It was bad enough leaving the rest of the gang behind, she loved them they were her family and it killed her on the inside to think of leaving them behind. It was wrong to leave them, it was so wrong that she could hardly wrap her mind around it. As sick as she was over the thought of leaving the others behind to fend for themselves, it made her even more sick to think of leaving Bill. She didn't want to leave Bill not at all. She sniffled, "No," She shook her head again, "No. I'm not leaving them, I'm not... I'm not leaving Bill."

The look on Dutch's face was one of someone who was truly shocked, "What do you mean you're not leaving Bill?"

Celina opened her mouth to respond but Arthur cut her off, "Ok, we need to go and now. Celina, you're coming with us, we aren't leaving you behind. The best we can do is to hope that the others make it out alive and we will try to meet up with them later. Lets. Go."

Lenny stood there silently, looking torn on what to do himself but Dutch had made his final decision, "If you don't come with us now, you are taking yourself away from our son. I know it's a lot but you need to come with us, now."

Celina swallowed, feeling as if her heart had been torn in two and completely trampled over but she nodded anyway not seeing any choice at hand. She couldn't stay behind, she knew she couldn't because of James but that didn't mean that leaving with Dutch, Arthur, Sadie and Lenny was any easier not knowing the fate of the rest of the gang. She could hardly believe what was happening was happening when she and Bill had only been discussing possibly leaving together with James earlier within that same day. It was a mess, it was all a mess and Celina couldn't help but blame Dutch for everything that was currently happening. If he had just left that bank alone like she had told him to then everything would have been ok and they would still be living the life that they all loved on the homestead they had built with their own hands.

Despite the thoughts and feelings rushing through her mind, she switched James from one arm to the other and quickly followed Dutch and the others out through the back door of the house, whistling sharply for the horses they all held dear. Celina lifted James up to Dutch once he mounted The Count so that Dutch could hold his oldest child in front of him as she rode and Celina then went on to quickly mount Bullet, Arthur Sadie and Lenny all getting on their own horses before they spurred them forwards and out of the homestead through the side as more and more law poured in, firing at them in desperate attempt to keep them from getting away.

It was a good thing that James was riding with Dutch, she thought as the six of them fled the area as quickly as they could. Seeing how many law men there were swarming into their home, it was clear to her that none of them would have ever been able to find the rest of the gang and tell them that they needed to get out of there or even take cover and fight alongside them. Without a doubt, they would have been shot down before they had the chance to even say anything to the others.

That fact broke her heart and she knew that she wasn't in any condition to ride with her son. She kept her haze fixed ahead and did her best to keep her mouth shut, not really wanting to make the situation at hand any worse than it already was by starting in on Dutch in front of everyone else especially considering the fact that some law were still in pursuit of them, bullets continually whizzing past them and luckily not striking them or their horses. It was clear to Celina that lawmen seemed to generally be bad shots. Of course, that was a fortunate fact.

She fired back at the law as did Arthur, Sadie and Lenny as they rode, trying desperately to shake them from their trail. Celina could just barely make out James' voice over the continuous commotion although she hadn't the slightest idea what was being said in the conversation held between him and Dutch. Everything was too loud to make out their words clearly. It wasn't as if she would have been able to concentrate to hear them through the gunfire anyway, not with thoughts of the rest of the gang still running through her mind and making her feel worse than she had ever felt in her life.

She wished that she could go back although she knew that that wish was pointless. She knew that Bill wouldn't take it well, her being gone. She knew that if Bill was given the chance after all of the law left that he would make his way back to the homestead and look over the dead bodies hoping not to find her. She knew that if he was able to look over the dead bodies and realized that she wasn't there, he would be hurt. He would realize that she had left him without a word. She let the tears run down her face without bothering to wipe them away. Maybe if he lived through this- IF he lived through this she would meet him back there again. She would try, that was for sure and she would just hope that she would get lucky and arrive back when he was there... If either of them were able to return which was definitely a big if. Heck, it was still up in the air whether Bill was even alive and if he was still presently alive, if he would make it out of the homestead alive. She hoped he would, she prayed he would. Maybe it would be herself going back to the farm if given the chance and looking over the bodies hoping not to find him nor any others of the gang. How heartbreaking it would be to find them there lifeless. She continued to fire at the law, nothing but bitterness and hatred in her heart for those who claimed to uphold the law. ...

It was a while before they finally managed to shake the law and they continued to ride north even once they were free of their pursuers for a good while. Upon eventually stopping, Dutch observed the broken looks on each of their faces and the corner of his mouth twitched downwards, "I am so very sorry." He said it with undeniable sincerity although it really didn't make Celina feel any better since she had been telling him that he needed to change his way of life and stop all the robbing well before the present time. He didn't want to listen then and he wasn't realizing that he should have listened until now. He made eye contact with her, great sorrow reflected in his dark eyes although it presently had no effect on her. Maybe she would be able to empathize with him later, much, much later but there was no way that that was going to come close to happening now, "I pushed and pushed out luck and look at all we've lost."

"I know," Celina nodded, her tone final and bitter towards him, "I told you, Dutch. I had been telling you that you needed to stop, we needed to stop any lay low but you wouldn't listen and people followed you." She shook her head in disbelief, "You brought this on us, all of us out of your own greed, out of your own desire and need to obtain just one more score." She spat the words at him hatefully, "So congratulations." She laughed humorlessly and raised her hands pointedly, "This, this six of us that are here? That is all that remains of your kingdom, your majesty. Are you happy now?" She challenged him not caring who heard, "Are you? More than half of the gang may either be captured or dead because of you and your stupid choices and your inability to actually have a plan." She went on, not caring to stop her rant even as they all stared at her in shock, what she was saying was the truth and was what Dutch apparently needed to hear. It was what he deserved to hear and she wasn't done telling it how it was, "We had a good thing, Dutch and you burned it to the ground. Done. It's ruined," She shrugged carelessly, "Gone and we're never getting it back. You were never the true leader of this gang, were you? It was Hosea. It was always Hosea, bless his soul and now that he's been gone for nearly two years now the truth is coming out... you were just the face of the gang, you always were and that's all you will ever be." She looked over at Arthur, Sadie and Lenny who didn't look like they had the first idea of what to say, "You broke us, Dutch. This gang, it's done and it isn't recovering from this."

Dutch opened his mouth in attempt to say something but then shut it again, staring at her with a look that if she hadn't been so devastated already, it would have broken her heart. Truth was that what she said was the truth, it had been Hosea holding the gang together, it had to have been for things to be how they were in his absence. Dutch looked over at Arthur, Sadie and Lenny, "I... I don't know what to say... I..." He looked over at Celina again who had turned away from the five of them and took another deep breath, the words that she had thrown at him had stung. They had hit him deep and he, well, he felt like they were at least partially the truth, it was his fault, the situation they were in now. He had brought that on all of them by not turning from the outlaw life as he had told her that he wanted to do. It was his fault that the law was on them, once again and it was his fault that the gang was now separated and most of them were quite possibly dead or captured. He didn't like to hear the words said of course but he knew that it was mostly the truth and he knew that Celina had said what she had because of how hard everything had hit her.

She was devastated, completely devastated as was he and in the chaos, he had actually forgotten all about her claim that she didn't want to leave Bill. That was the last thing on his mind, the loyalty of the woman he loved. Right now, all he could think of was what had just befallen the gang, they had been ripped apart, almost completely.

Arthur was the one to speak next, it not going unnoticed by him how badly Celina's words had hurt Dutch, he could tell by the look on his long-term friends face that the words had cut him like a knife, "You know," He was looking art Celina as he spoke but she wouldn't turn around to face him. He took a deep breath and continued anyway, looking at Sadie and Lenny as well, "This, this mess... it ain't all Dutch's fault. We all could see what was happening, that we were reverting to our old ways. We all knew that it was only going to be a matter of time before the law noticed that we were still alive and breathing. This is just as much the fault of everyone who continued going on the bigger heists as it was Dutch's. you can't exactly say that Hosea was the one leading the gang all along, Dutch was too. Hosea's death... Hosea's death was hard... it was terrible and all of us dealt with it differently. We can't say that Dutch's ability to lead was always like this, I'm sure that he is just struggling without Hosea at his side."

Arthur turned his attention to Dutch, "Look..." He raised his hand as he tried to think of exactly what it was he wanted to say, "We are all upset, and we're worried about the rest of the gang and whether we will be able to reunite with them or not... if anyone- or everyone is dead or not... Celina, she's upset... She's hurting. You got to remember, Dutch, this was her family just as much as it was ours and she is entitled to deal with it however she needs to whether we like it or understand it or not. And she... she was close to Bill... if she thinks that he's dead, it's going to hurt, Dutch. Ok? You just need to be patient with her. We all need..." Arthur looked over at Sadie for support and she reached out to him, gently resting her hand on his arm, "We all need tome time to think about what has happened and what's coming next."  
...

A/N: Thank you guys for taking the time to read and I appreciate all of you! I just wanted to say that it's been such a pleasure writing for you and I'm so pleased to say that this book still has quite a long way to go before it will be completed. That said, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I know it's a lot and it was probably unexpected to all of you how it went but it had been my plan ever since I brought Aiden into the picture to split the gang up this way.

Celina does think that Bill could very well possibly be dead and we're going to see how she deals with that and thinking the rest of the gang may be dead as well. Any ideas for what may happen?

Hang in there with me as we're officially getting into the events of RDR1! Any thoughts or questions, send them my way either through comments or PM and I'll be more than happy to reply within a timely manner.

Let me know what you think guys, if you get the chance to do so. I know this chapter was a lot to read and it was most certainly a lot to write. I hate that Celina acted so cold towards Dutch at the end of this chapter, but do keep in mind everything that has just happened and the fact that she had been trying to prevent this from happening all along.

Disclaimer: I do not own Red Dead Redemption 1 or 2 or anything associated with it.


	9. Chapter 9

Seventeen days dad gone by since they had all been chased out of their homestead. Seventeen days since Bill had likely been killed or captured along with the rest of the gang. Celina had tried to go about life as normal, to goof off with Jimmy, talk with Sadie, Arthur and Lenny but nothing was the same, not anymore and she found herself with little will even to see the next day. If it weren't for Jimmy and the baby, then she may have taken it into her own hands to ensure she never saw the next day. She had hardly spoken to Dutch who was running around like a madman trying to get money for them all with Arthur. Of course, with their situation and who they were, they couldn't go out and make honest money, that wasn't even an option. Nope, they had been robbing people quietly now thought because of course as always, in the desperate haste to get away from the homestead, no one was able to grab the money. No one was ever able to grab the money and the recent events had opened Celina's eyes to the truth of John Marston's words from years ago. He was right, and perhaps he had been right to leave when he had. Getting money and losing it was a vicious, endless cycle for the gang as to which there was no end in sight for when that would change. Celina had gone back to the homestead with Sadie and Arthur six days ago but the area had already been cleared out of all bodies, their home looted, the cash all gone. It had broken her even more deeply than she had previously been. It was partially because of the money, sure- but only a bit. She was more broken than words could express over the fact that the area had been cleaned up meant that they may never have assurance as to who had lived or died. They had no assurance if anyone of the gang had made it out alive, so they had to assume that they had all been killed, with the way that the law was swarming in on them, they had to have been. Heck, the six of them who did manage to make it out had barely made it out alive. Celina was beginning to wonder if they were truly the lucky ones from having been able to escape. They weren't lucky- not really. They weren't lucky to be the ones left alive to have to cope with their loss.

Celina knew that her way of coping wasn't the best, it wasn't healthy but because she couldn't drink herself out of her mind due to being pregnant, she had spent all six days they had been back from the homestead staying in the old rickety bed that was assigned to her in the rundown shacks they had come across. She couldn't muster up the motivation to get out of bed other than to wash up, use the restroom or eat periodically. That was another thing, she didn't have an appetite, not at all. She was entirely heartbroken to think that she had lost most of her family all because Dutch just had to be Dutch. She looked up at him with emotionless eyes when he walked into the room and looked over at her, "I'm... I am going to take James out fishing by that river near here, if... if you need anything you can either come find me or let Sadie know. Arthur and Lenny are going with us."

The woman nodded, not even caring to try to give a verbal response. She cared about Dutch of course, that wouldn't ever change. She was happy that he had made it out of the homestead safe and wouldn't ever want anything bad to befall him but right now, she didn't care if he was in her personal life or not. It was almost too hard to even look at him, let alone talk to him. If it weren't for Jimmy being upset over the thought of being separated from his dad, she probably would have truly considered leaving... not that she could live in society now anyways. Her being recognized wouldn't hurt her chances of living a normal life, she starred in no wanted posters. No, what would hurt her chances of living a normal life was her consuming hatred of the law, there was no way she could be in a society that obeyed them, not after they barged into their home and killed her family... not after they barged in and killed Bill.

Bill Williamson, he was surely dead and gone and there was nothing she could do about it. He was gone and she had already admitted to herself that of everyone, his death had hit her the hardest. His death had hit her so hard that she dreaded opening her eyes every morning and being faced with the reality that he was gone. It was so fresh, like an open wound covered in salt. Like a knife to the heart. In fact, when she thought about it, her chest grew tight as if her heart could barely beat. He was gone. She pulled the thin sheet she was gifted with as a cover up over her shoulders and turned her back to Dutch, trying to get comfortable on the old cot.

She began crying silently, shaking with her sobs and soon, she felt a hand rest gently on her shoulder followed by the sound of a voice, "I know it's hard." She was surprised to hear the voice of Sadie Adler instead of Dutch and was relieved that it seemed the fallen leader had left to go fishing already.

Celina shook her head and trembled with mental anguish, "It's all his fault. D-Dutch might as well have killed them himself."

Sadie was quiet for a moment, "I know sweetie." Her voice held grief and empathy as well, "I know that it seems that way, but... Dutch, he's... he's doing the best he can to deal with this too. He is devastated."

Celina shrugged, "He should be, it's his fault." She rolled over to face Sadie and closed her eyes in an extended blink before making eye contact with her, "Dutch was more interested in being an outlaw than a father or a husband. I tried to tell him that this was going to happen, or something like it was going to if he didn't quit making noise but he wouldn't listen. He needs to feel bad. Maybe... maybe this is what he needs to change him and get him to stop being a criminal."

Sadie kept quiet and nodded, "Maybe."

"But it's too late. After all of this, how are we supposed to come back from this? Not only he and I, but what remains of the gang?" She shook her head, "I wish the best for Dutch, I really do... but I don't know that I can be in a relationship with him anymore, Sadie. I'm afraid that he will always be a constant reminder of what happened. And... how... how would I even know that he is really done with robbing even if he is? He's said that he was done with it so many times now, but he always goes back to it. What if I can get past this... we can get past it, but he gets right back into robbing again down the line? Do I really want to subject myself to that kind of heartbreak again?" She reached up and wiped the tears from her face, "You know, sometimes I wish that I would have left after we killed Micah... sometimes I think it would have been better if I had."

"No," Sadie shook her head and sat down in the chair beside the cot, knowing that she may not be going anywhere for a little while, "Everything would have been worse without you around, you know that, there's no question about it."

Celina didn't comment on that, her mind going back to thoughts of Bill. She licked her lips, "Do you think that Bill is dead?"

The other woman hesitated, looking down at the ground briefly before nodding slowly, "I don't see how he could have gotten out of that back there. It, it was bad. It was really bad. I mean, stranger things have happened, he could be alive, but the odds?... I'm afraid that we may be the only ones that made it out."

Celina nodded back at her with a heave heart, "That's what I think too..." She smiled slightly, forcing the expression onto her face as she thought back to how that day had gone before the Pinkertons had arrived, "You know, I told him that day, before everything went to hell that I had loved him, that I had been in love with him when he and I were together and I meant it." She sniffled, "Oh lord I meant it." She smiled a bit at the fact that she had been able to tell him that before he was killed, "You know, I was going to give Dutch one more chance," She nodded, "I was... one more chance and if he wasn't willing to give Jimmy and this new baby the life they deserved, Bill and I were going to leave. He was... he was going to step up and be a dad to the both of them." At her words, the dam broke and she shed a fresh wave of tears, wiping at her running nose with her sleeve, "Now he's gone." The look she had on her face was one of a truly broken woman, "Bill is dead. If we..." She gasped for air, "If we would have just left earlier in that day, if I hadn't been willing to give Dutch yet another chance then he would still be alive and... and." She stopped herself from saying anything further, "I've given Dutch so many chances, Sadie... he's put me through so much that I don't even really know why I love him sometimes... like at times like this, but I do. I can't help it. Even when I hate him more than anything, I still love him."

Sadie gave a sad, sympathetic smile, "That's because it's true love. I didn't know you loved Bill too though. I know talking about this stuff is hard. It's terrible but I am happy that you're finally talking about it. You've hardly said anything this past... near week. Don't you think that maybe you should try to talk to Dutch?"

Celina shook her head. Sadie didn't really have anything to say about what it was she was saying, that was understandable. Just because Celina had been talking bad about Dutch didn't mean that Sadie was going to or that she even agreed with what she was saying. It was ok though that she wasn't commenting much, she was there listening to her and that was all that mattered. She wasn't sure that she was truly up for an elongated conversation about everything anyway, "I don't want to talk to Dutch, I don't even want to look at Dutch right now. She sniffled, "Please don't say anything to him about this. I don't want him to know what was said. Not right now anyway. He doesn't need to know about Bill and I."

It was at that moment that Dutch slowly stepped into the room, an unreadable expression on his face, "I've got to say, it is too late for that."

Celina stared at him for a moment in shock, she obviously hadn't expected him to be right outside the shack. How much had he heard? Despite not wanting to talk to him, she had to ask, "How long were you standing there and how much did you hear? I thought you had left to go fishing."

Dutch stared at her for a long, silent moment before looking over at Sadie with the same unreadable expression, "I had thought that I would try to talk to you before we left but when I went to come back, I saw Sadie entering the shack, so I waited." Dutch set his jaw, "I heard everything." He kept his head held high, clearly trying not to look affected by what he had heard her say, "So glad to know how you feel about me, miss Knoll."

Celina just stared back at him at that, unsure of what to say, she could tell that he was upset behind his façade of steel, that much was obvious. She had meant what she had said though, whether she intended for him to hear it or not. She couldn't lie and say that she was sorry, so she didn't. Instead, she met his gaze, "I am sorry that you heard what you did." It hurt, to hear him call her miss Knoll. He used to do it out of habit but had, after years of her insisting he drop the name altogether, had eventually managed to do so. Saying it now, he was trying to hurt her, his tone dry with it. He wanted her to feel something, like she had made him feel. He wanted her to regret what she had said and let her know how distant the two of them were now. She did the only thing she could think of, nodding with a dangerous glint in her eyes, "Well you're welcome, Mr. Van Der Linde." As the words left her mouth, she only felt her sorrow and pain all the more. Everything was ruined- destroyed.

Dutch nodded, "So this is what it's about is it?" He gestured to her lying on the cot, "This is all about Bill. Bill Williamson of all people. You're lying here like this grieving Bill Williamson so much that you can't even get up and be a mother."

"Woah, woah, woah," Sadie stood up at that and pointed at Dutch accusing, "What makes you think that you have the right to go and speak to her like that? She is greiving just as we all are and you're going to go and say stuff like that to her? Who do you think you are?"

Dutch cleared his throat, "Please Sadie, if you would just let us have a moment alone, that would be appreciated."

Celina glared daggers at Dutch, "No, she won't let us have a moment alone. I don't want her to." Celina climbed out of her cot and walked up to the outlaw, fury in her blue eyes as she stared right into his dark ones, "Go to hell, Dutch. You go straight to hell for what you've cost us and what you've said to me." Tears of anger welled up in her eyes, "I wish I would have left you long ago. I should have went with Bill. I should have stayed behind to help them," she sniffled, "This is all your fault."

...

The weeks turned to months and luckily, they had not been found in the small, less than luxurious shacks they remained holed up in. How many months had passed? Seven. Seven months had passed, and they were surely but slowly bringing in money to get themselves out of the situation they were presently in. Celina's stomach had grown drastically as it should and with it, her appetite had increased to the point that she was eating more than Sadie and Arthur combined. She looked over at Dutch with a small smile on her face after wiping her mouth. He had brought back deer which they had cooked for dinner that evening and it had hit the spot for the pregnant woman wonderfully, "You know, this is actually good."

Dutch chuckled, "Anything for you. Even if you want to eat all of the food we bring in."

Celina feigned offense, "Are you calling me fat?"

Dutch looked down at her stomach pointedly and raised a brow with a smile, "Well, not exactly."

She laughed and hit at him before looking over to Sadie and Arthur who were watching the two of them in amusement, "When are the two of you going to have a baby?"

Sadie smiled mischievously, "Depends on when the two of you finally get back together."

Celina's mouth gaped open in surprise and she looked over at Dutch who looked just as taken aback, "Sadie!" She knew the woman was playing with her, of course she was but the truth was that she couldn't say for sure if they were going to get back together. Despite Dutch's heartfelt apology and attempt to make things right five months ago, she wasn't sure that she would ever feel the same way she used to feel towards Dutch Van Der Linde. Despite what she thought initially- that she wouldn't ever forgive him, she had found forgiveness in her heart for him.

After all, it wouldn't have been possible for him to have known what was going to happen due to him robbing that bank. If he had known, without doubt he wouldn't have done it. So yes, she forgave him for the events which had brought on the destruction of the gang and the homestead. She forgave him for the deaths that they were forced to cope with, Bill's included. She forgave him for the fact that the life she loved was shot to bits.

However, she had learned over the months that she just could not take him back. No matter what a special place he held in her heart and how much he meant to her, she would not romantically involve herself with Dutch Van Der Linde ever again- not after all that had happened. Being a mom, she couldn't subject her kids to a life that could so drastically change in the blink of an eye. She couldn't subject to having to run with them from the law at a moment's notice.

As long as she stayed with Dutch, she was risking subjecting Jimmy and the new baby to the dangerous life Dutch lived and she couldn't do that. If it weren't for the kids, she still wasn't sure that she would be able to go back to Dutch. She wasn't sure she would be able to go back to Dutch even without the kids taken into consideration because every time she looked at him, she was reminded of all they had lost... all he had caused them to lose and everything he had put her through. She was reminded that at any time, no matter what he said he could fall back into the outlaw life, robbing and killing and that wasn't a fear that she wanted to live with.

It wasn't even that it was a fear that she didn't want to live with exactly, but that it was something that he had promised her time and time again that he was done with. Each time he promised that, he broke that promise and each time he broke that promise, she lost her faith and trust in him a little more. Now that, that was something she couldn't live with, a man who she couldn't trust to keep his word. No matter how much she loved him, no matter where they went or what lifestyle they tried to live, she knew that Dutch would always be a bad judgement call away from attempting to get a score and blowing their cover. She couldn't have a man who she was always terrified would rob a bank or train... or whatever and get the law on them all over again..  
. No, and unfortunately, that man was Dutch no matter how badly she didn't want it to be... and no matter what he said.

The last time he promised he would change, she couldn't bring herself to think was any different... not even after the great loss they had all suffered through. She couldn't take that chance, not for the sake of her own heart, her own life, or the lives of her children. She couldn't stay with a man that risked exposing himself as the notorious Dutch Van Der Linde every day of his life. She knew the time to break off from him and start a life of her own was coming. He would stay in her life, as a friend- hopefully. But that was it. That had to be it. She knew that she couldn't be happy in a relationship with him when she couldn't help but to blame him for all that happened. It would never work, not now. It wouldn't be healthy to be with him when she couldn't force herself to stop holding him to blame. Dutch Van Der Linde was ruined for her.

FIVE MONTHS AGO***

Dutch stood outside the door to the shack that Celina shared with James, peering in at the woman who remained on her bed with her back to the door. He took a deep breath, he felt terrible, everything that had happened within the last two months, it really was his fault.

He should have listened to her and then when he found out that she had been in love with Bill, he shouldn't have reacted in the way he had. Sure, it had been a bit more than a month ago when he had overheard her speaking with Sadie about Bill and how she felt, but was it too late to apologize for his behavior? He tried to gain the courage to walk in there and sit down beside her bed. He wanted to talk to her about what had happened, and he wanted to apologize.

It had been over a month since she had last spoken to him for more than a minute. Even then, what she had to say to him had been short and bitter. He ran his hands over his slicked black hair before twisting the rings on his fingers distractedly. She had thrown the ring he had given her so long ago at his face after they escaped from the Pinkertons after Bill had supposedly been killed. He deserved to have his gift thrown back in his face, he knew that. Most of all, Dutch knew there was only one way to even have a shot at making things right with Celina again as he so desperately wanted to.

He had been butt-hurt for a while after finding out that she had been planning on leaving with Bill. After the law couple weeks though, he had managed to get himself past it. He wanted to make things right with her, prove to her just what kind of a man he could be if she would give him the chance. It was true as well that she had given him many chances which he had blew numerous times. This was going to be different though, if he could just get one more chance he vowed to himself that he would never blow it- never.

He took another deep breath and entered the shack, even after two months of being holed up in the area, she still hardly got out of bed unless absolutely needed. Luckily, she had started eating more without doubt her intake of food was to keep the baby healthy rather than to satisfy her own needs. He cleared his throat as he entered the cabin through the permanently open door, "Can we talk, please?"

Celina didn't bother to even look at him or move for that matter, "Go away, Dutch. Why would I want to talk to you of all people?"

He exhaled slowly, maybe it was well and truly too late, maybe she wouldn't listen to him no matter what he had to say, "I owe you an apology." When she refused to respond to him, he sighed and entered the shack the rest of the way, taking a seat in the chair next to her cot, "I am so very sorry about the others. I should have listened to you and if I had I know we would never have been in the situation we are in now." He paused, "I'm sorry about them all... I, I am so very sorry... I'm sorry about Bill."

"Yeah, well, he's dead just like the rest of them. There's no changing that." She felt a tear roll down her face at her own words. It still seemed so unreal that he was really gone- that they all were really gone. Dutch stated at her for another moment, he wasn't really good in situations such as these and he had half the mind to get Lenny to try to help him. He knew though that if she were going to forgive him, he needed to get her to do so himself and not rely on the heartfelt words of others.

He glanced over to the door, wishing that there was something he could do to get her to listen to him. He licked his lips and crossed his arms over his chest, "I'm sorry for how I reacted when I heard that..." He tilted his head to the side slightly as he thought back to how he reacted upon hearing that she was fixing to leave with Bill. It hadn't been good, and it hadn't been kind, he had just about thrown the events of that terrible day right back in her face out of pain that she was really set to leave him, "I am sorry that I wasn't there for you these last couple months." He sighed heavily not even sure if he would forgive himself, "I should have been there to help you for this, but I wasn't. Hell, I probably reacted in the worst way I possibly could. Acting like you wished I would have been killed instead... that was unacceptable."

He spoke with confidence, sure of his words, "I see that now. I should have seen it sooner, but I do. I do now." He looked down at the ground, kicking his foot across the floor in thought, "I- I didn't know that you had loved Bill. I knew that you liked him quite a bit, but I didn't know that you fell in love with him over that time we spent broken up... I... I didn't think about you loving someone other than myself and if I hadn't found out how I did... maybe I could have been better to you about his death. I... I didn't want to lose anyone. Even if you would have chosen him over mem I wouldn't have ever wished death on him or anyone else. I know it's my fault..." Dutch shook his head in shame at himself and his own actions, "I tell you, he loved you too for what it's worth. Bill Williamson wouldn't have ever stepped up to be a dad to the kids if he didn't love you. You're a hell of a woman and I know that you made him happy. Hell, you make me happy... I just hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me, maybe not now- but one day... maybe. If not be with me then just... forgive me."

He stared at her back which she kept turned to him, listening to him silently but not daring to look his way, "I think that if Bill could step up and be a dad, I can, don't you think? I... I'll give it up, I'll give it all up, permanently- the robbing. I'll be done with it for the rest of my life, that I swear on my mother's grave if you will just forgive me. You don't have to take me back... just, just forgive me and I'll change. I promise." What he said he meant with all of his heart, he held it true in the deepest depths of his soul and he only hoped that the woman he loved would recognize it as the truth as well. Would it be enough to earn her forgiveness, would anything ever be enough to earn her forgiveness?

...

A/N: Late night post, too tired to write note but please let me know what you think of this chapter and what you think will/want to happen!

Disclaimer: I do not own Red Dead Redemption 1 or 2 or anything associated with it.


	10. Chapter 10

"Mommy, mommy, make Jimmy stop, he keeps bullying me!"

Celina groaned and rubbed tiredly at her eyes, "Ryder, please buddy, just let me sleep for five more minutes. James, be nice to your brother!"

The year was 1910, Jimmy was nine years old and Ryder was four, and already resembling Dutch greatly. At the sound of another while from Ryder, she sighed tiredly and sat up in bed. She had been out late last night, much later than she should have been and owed Josiah and his wife great thanks for babysitting for her while she enjoyed her night at the bar with Sadie and Arthur. It wasn't until that moment though that she found herself wishing that she hadn't been out so late.

Celina, Arthur and Sadie had lived in Saint Denis for two years, Celina having only broken off from Dutch completely two years ago. She hadn't forced herself to leave him or move on, no, not at all. Instead, she had left and moved on from Dutch naturally. It was sad to say as of two years ago her feelings for the man had completely run dry on their own, but they had. It turned out that Dutch wasn't the man she had ever thought him to be no matter how hard he tried to change- he couldn't. The news he had relayed to her two years ago regarding his decision to team up with the natives against the government had been the straw to break the camel's back. He couldn't change, he couldn't give her and the boys a safe life and that was what she wanted. That was what she needed and she knew that no matter where they went, Dutch was sure to attract trouble eventually. She couldn't live like that. Hearing about him taming up with the natives two years ago immediately extinguished anything that had been left burning between the two of them.

She hadn't been mad or upset about his decision. She didn't hate or love him, although she did like him. She didn't want him around or gone. He wasn't the man that she believed him to be and her feelings for him were gone. She had no feelings towards the man whom she was once in love with one way or another. The Dutch Van Der Linde who she once loved was dead to her and she was numb to him. So, two years ago, she packed the boys up from where they lived in Strawberry and she, Arthur and Sadie headed out to start a life in Saint Denis. Dutch had been sad to see them go, but she felt nothing towards him. She told him where she was going and that if he could get into the city, he was welcome to visit. Other than that though, they were done and of course Dutch had no legal aid to give him the right to have his children in his possession.

Really, being away from Dutch for those two years opened her eyes to how the world was without him in her life and she liked it. There had been the man or two whom she had taken interest in but nothing ever lasted long term. Dutch had visited a handful of times sine they arrived in Saint Denis, managing to find a way into the city and she always greeted him warmly. He had even met one of the men she had been dating for a bit but nothing but casual friendship remained between the two, really. They both had made their peace with that and enjoyed one another's company when it came around, after all, it had been around four years since they were last a couple together.

Now, there was one thing that the two of them agreed on whole-heartedly, as surely as Ryder was Dutch's son, James was Bill's. Over the last few years he had undeniably started looking more and more like the deceased outlaw. Sadie and Arthur needless to say acknowledged that as well, Arthur giving her crap whenever appropriate- or inappropriate on that fact. Dutch still didn't like that fact any more last week when he had visited than when she had first told him that there was a chance that James could be Bill's.

...

"Dutch," Celina took a dep breath, "You and I... I don't know if you and Karen have a thing now or what but when you went to her, earlier this month.. I saw. I saw the two of you through Sean's window. I was mad, I was devastated. Hell, you didn't wait thirty minutes from the time we broke up to go running to her."

Dutch narrowed his eyes at her skeptically, "What is it you're trying to say?"

Celina took a deep breath and fidgeted with her hands, looking at the floor of the house as she collected her courage, she had told Bill earlier that day about her pregnancy but now it was Dutch's turn to find out and she was sure that this wasn't going to be a fun discussion. She knew that she had to tell him now though because it was hard to tell if Bill would accidentally let the cat out of the bag. If that was the case, then the situation would only be worse and she definitely didn't want Dutch to be the one to confront her on the topic. So, she just told him right then and there as he sat on the couch right where the baby could possibly have been conceived should it be Bill's. She felt an odd sense of satisfaction that Dutch obviously had no idea what had happened on that couch, "I'm pregnant."

His eyes widened in shock and he about choked on his own spit, "You're- you're pregnant? I- I'm going to be a dad?" He looked like he had several different emotions triggered by the news, surprise of course, nervousness and possibly a touch of excitement, "When did you find out?"

She smiled tightly, "A couple weeks now."

"A couple weeks?" His face screwed up in confusion and he looked a bit betrayed, "Why are you just now telling me?"

She licked her lips slowly, assessing the situation. She had to tell him now before he got the chance to find out by any other means. Part of her still held satisfaction as to what she got to truthfully tell him. He had hurt her so many times now was a good one to finally get him back. She knew that he was going to be livid but it was his fault, if he hadn't run off to Karen then she probably wouldn't have run off to Bill... at least not so quickly, "Because, Dutch," She stared into his eyes with a firm expression, "The baby might not be yours."

"What?" The question left his mouth with a cold tone, his the expression on his face dropping to a livid one just as she had known would happen. He spoke slowly, his voice shaking a bit, sounding dangerous and icy, "If I was not the one to get you pregnant, then who would be?"

Celina Bit down on her bottom lip a little harder than she probably should have, causing pain, "Bill."

"Bill." He said it back to her, his voice flat and cold, "You're telling me that Bill may have been the one to get you pregnant?" He stood up from the couch, "Did he force you into this? I'm going to go and have a word with him."

"No!" She reached out and grabbed Dutch's arm to stop him, "No, he didn't force me into anything. I wanted it. I came onto him, it's not his fault so leave him alone."

Dutch stared down at her with hatred and hurt glinting in his dark eyes, "You have got to be kidding me. You're telling me that you went and fucked Bill to get back at me?" His nostrils flared in anger and his face reddened, "What are you trying to get at, letting that drunk into your pants? We may as well just start calling you Abbigail!"

At once, Celina drew her hand back and slapped Dutch across the face, causing him to stagger back slightly at the unexpected impact. She stared up at him, hatred glinting in her own eyes, "That is exactly what I'm telling you, you bastard. On our couch, in our bed, against our walls and guess what?" She hissed at him, "I'm still fucking him and there ain't a damn thing you can do about it. I like him, Dutch, I like him a lot. And if you ever call me Abbigail or imply that I go around sleeping with everyone again, you're going to regret it." Her own face was red, "Now get the hell out of my house and you fucking leave Bill alone."

...

"James, I told you to be nice to your brother." She whined in protest due to the fact that her boys weren't listening to her, she had a headache and she really, truly did not want to get out of bed. Still, she forced herself to because as a mom that's what she had to do. "If I come out there and you two are fighting over something stupid then you're both in trouble." She made her way out of the bedroom and into the living room to see the boys both sitting at the table in the dining room and eating the cereal that James had apparently poured for both of them. She smiled that they both snapped into acceptable behavior upon hearing her threat and went into the kitchen to get her own breakfast, "Glad to see the two of you getting along."

"Mom?" James was looking over his shoulder at her and wiping milk from his mouth with a napkin.

"What buddy?"

"Is dad going to come by this week?"

Celina shrugged as she poured herself some cereal as well, "I don't know buddy." Of course she hadn't told him that Dutch wasn't really his dad- ever. That would have been pointless to tell him the truth about Bill due to the fact of him being dead and gone. Due to the fact that she had confirmation in the boys facial features that he was Bill's son, she had gone as far as to keep all alcohol out of the house and not to allow him witness her drinking. She was raising her boys not to drink just for the sake of James' health in the future as being an alcoholic unfortunately ran in his blood. So, because of that, she couldn't allow herself to be known as a drinker by her sons if she was going to preach against it to them. She walked back into the dining room and sat down at the table with her own breakfast, "Your dad will be by sooner or later if he does decide to show up. You know that he can only come when he can.. his... his job keeps him busy."

"Mommy?"

She smiled and looked over at her younger son, Ryder, "What buddy?"

"Josiah showed us magic."

Celina laughed at that, knowing that the magician who lived in the apartment below them most certainly had dome just that, "Did he now? What did he show you?"

"He did, it was really cool, "James perked up and leaned on the table, completely engaged in the new topic of conversation, "He was pulling birds out of books and a whole lot of cool stuff, levitating things and stuff."

Celina shook her head, "Of course he was, that's what he does and he's awfully good at it. Did I tell you that I once almost became his assistant for the shows he puts on?"

"No," James shook his head, "Why didn't you?"

Celina took a deep breath, "Well, because at the time your dad needed me and I needed him. So, instead of running off and putting on magic shows, I went back and stayed with him to help him with some things. I'm glad that I went back to." She smiled, "If I wouldn't have then I wouldn't have had the two of you."

There was a knock at the door then which did not help Celina's head feel any better, neither did the barking of the brown and white border collie they owned named Sam, "Sam," Celina groaned as she stood up from her seat and made her way to the front door, gently pushing her way past the dog, "Please stop."

She opened the door to see Lenny standing there with a gentle smile, "I come bearing gifts."

He held the bag up a bit, pointedly and she smiled back at him before throwing her arms around him in a hug of greeting, "I was wondering if I was going to see you again, "Come inside," She stepped inside and she shut the door behind him, "I'm glad that I'm awake, had a late night out with Arthur and Sadie."

Lenny laughed, "Yeah, I know how you get when you go out." He emphasized 'out' raising a brow at her in discretion upon seeing the boys staring at him, "I was just passing through the city as I said I would be should I get bored with Rhodes." He chuckled, "Not much really goes on in that little town... besides the occasional outlaw issue. I tell you, this country really has gotten cleaned up."

Celina nodded, "Yeah, I know." She shook her head, "It's actually kind of sad."

"It is," Lenny agreed, "But as least we all got out when we did." He looked over at the boys with a smile, "James, Ryder, these gifts are for you if you want them come and get them."

Celina smiled at the colored man and the size of his big heart, as she teased him, "You said that you come bearing gifts but yet you don't bring me anything?"

Lenny smirked at her as he watched the boys pull the books he had brought them out of the bag, with appreciative smiles on their faces and words of thanks, "Isn't my presence gift to you enough?"

Celina narrowed her eyes at her old friend playfully, "I suppose I'll let it slide this time." She walked into the family room and sat down on the couch with Lenny, Sam following at their heels, "So tell me," She turned to him with a smile, "How has life been? I hardly ever see you."

"I know you don't," He teased, "Not ever since you, Arthur and Sadie ran off to the big city, I never would have thought the three of you would become city folk."

Celina scoffed, "I am hardly city folk." She laughed and shrugged, looking over to Ryder who was already engrossed in one of the new books that Lenny had brought for them, "I don't know." She turned her attention back to her friend, "It's just nice to live somewhere... different. You go t me though, I never thought I would be one to live in a place with so much law but Sadie.. she's my best friend and she loves it here. Didn't really expect her to, but she does. Arthur... is another story but he deals with it for Sadie."

Lenny shook his head, "I'm happy for them, getting married like they did." He hesitated for a moment, "Are you up for going out again tonight?"

Celina took a deep breath, "I don't know, Lenny. I'm just now trying to recover from being out so late last night.. it has been a while since you and I went and did anything though."

"Uh, huh," He nodded, trying to convince her, "It has been and you never know how long I'll stick around so you may want to give in and go out tonight, just for old times sake."

She stared at him for a moment, a smirk making it's way onto her lips, "You, sir are a bad influence."

He raised a brow at her, "Would you really have it any other way?"

She sighed, "I suppose not. We'll see... I'd have to see if Trelawny will be ok with watching the boys again though. I really hate to ask him, he watched them last night and he does have his own family you know."

"I'm sure Josiah would be more than happy to watch James and Ryder, as well behaved as the two of them are? Piece of cake."

Celina laughed, "It is ironic, considering who their dad is."

Lenny laughed as well, looking over at the two boys and knowing very well that they weren't both Dutch's sons, "How is Dutch? Has he been around lately?"

Celina nodded, shifting on the couch in attempt to make herself more comfortable, "He was here last week. His hair is short now.. he looks good. I think he's doing well too, just... you know, he's Dutch.. he does what he can for the boys. I'm happy that he makes an attempt to be a part of their life. We'll always be friends but," She shrugged, "I don't know the details of his personal life, don't really care to know too much."

Lenny nodded, "So you don't know if he has himself a new woman or not?"

Celina shrugged again, "I think he did for a little while but I'm not sure anymore. He probably does, since he's Dutch and well, let's face it, he's a charming s.o.b."

Lenny laughed at her words and shrugged as well, "Well, I'm sure that if he does they have to put up with a lot of crap. It's probably good that you moved on."

"Yeah, I know it is. I don't care if he's seeing anyone really, I've seen a few men in the past years myself. My time with Dutch, it was good at times but it's come to pass. I just hope that he can find someone else to make him happy. As for me, I am thinking that I may just be a single mom for the rest of my life... there's this man I see sometimes named Josh... he's alright, nothing serious but I know that I won't be marrying him."

Lenny nodded once she stopped talking, "I actually have a woman back in Rhodes... she's pregnant." He said it to nonchalantly that Celina wondered for a moment if she had heard him right."

"Did you say that she's pregnant?"

He smiled almost shyly, "Sure did, I'm going to be a dad."

She slapped him on the shoulder excitedly, "Lenny! congratulations! Why didn't you lead with that?"

"Like," He started with a playful, but sarcastic tone, "When I walked in the door?"

She shrugged with a big smile still plastered on her face, "You could have, would have made the whole greeting more interesting."

He laughed and shook his head, "So, is there anything new going on with you?"

Celina scoffed, "No, nothing ever since I made the move here. Who knows, maybe I'll stay here until I get old and die but most likely I'll end up moving out west again eventually. Not soon, exactly. I want the boys to stay in school here, but some day I might head back out that way... Maybe start farming again.." She shrugged, "I don't know... It... I liked that life, I really did like living off the land and farming like we were doing but I'm worried that if I go out there and try to do it again it just might not be enjoyable for me anymore... not after al that happened last time we all tried to live that way. There just might be too many bad memories for me out there living that life. It would make me miss everyone more, you know? Dutch would like it though, he's still out west of Blackwater, it would get the kids closer to him again.. make it easier for him to visit." She shrugged, "I don't know... I may just stay here."

Lenny was quiet for a moment, "So you were out on the town last night?"

Celina nodded, "Well, yeah..." She was confused at the sudden almost hesitant tone to his voice as if her were unsure he should be saying whatever it was that he had to say, "Why?"

Lenny bit the inside of his jaw, "Did you pass by any newspaper stands or hear the recent news?"

"No?" Her brow was furrowed in confusion as to all the questions that he was asking her, "Are you going to tell me why?"

Lenny took a deep breath, "Why don't you go on down to get yourself a paper? I'll stay here with the kids as long as you need me to."

"What?" She laughed nervously, "You're making me kind of nervous, is there something going on? Is it something about Dutch?" She glanced over her shoulder back towards where James and Ryder were sitting to see that they must have gone off to another room. She lowered her vice still though to keep them from hearing what she was asking, Was he captured or killed? Is he set to hang?" She felt a pang in her chest at the thought of the answer to any of those questions being yes. Truly, the thought that Dutch's time as a free mad had come to an end made her feel sick.

To her relief, Lenny shook his head although he still didn't look like he knew what to do or how to feel, let alone what to say to her, "No, it's nothing about Dutch." He kept his voice low as well, "I mean, he could very well be in the paper somewhere.. I don't know but its not about him." He licked his lips, "Just.. just go get a paper. I think it's better that you see it yourself than have me tell you."

She still hesitated for a moment still, staring at him in worry, "What is it Lenny? Please just tell me."

Lenny sighed, "Just go get a paper, woman." He laughed, "Me and your boys will be here waiting for you when you get back. I would have grabbed one for you on my way into the city this morning when the new paper came out but I forgot." He motioned towards the door, "Now go."

Pretty much being kicked out of her own apartment by Lenny who she hadn't seen in at least six months, she huffed, "Ok, fine. I'll go get a paper but I don't see why you can't just tell me what's going on." Seeing Lenny just shake his head, she rolled her eyes at him and made her way out the front door of the apartment.

Making her way down the stairs to the paved Saint Denis ground, there were a million thoughts running through her mind such as why Lenny wouldn't just tell her what was going on. It didn't make much sense to her- not really. Why was it so necessary that she get out of the house and go down to get a paper? It was rediculous and Lenny's behavior about it all was... bizarre to say the least. She hadn't really seen him act like that before. If it wasn't about Dutch, then what or who was it about?

It didn't make sense, none of it made sense and she really hadn't felt like getting out of the house. Of course there was apparently no telling Lenny that. She had half expected for him to force her out the door if she hadn't left when she did. She stuck her hands in the pockets of her jacket before turning down the street and heading out to the newspaper stand. There was a young boy shouting, waving the papers about as he attempted to attract attention, "Get your papers! Get your newspaper! Learn all you need to know about Bill Williamson's gang!"

Celina stopped in her tracks at hearing the words which came from the boys mouth. She felt like her heart had fallen out of her chest and onto the pavement beneath her feet. Her mouth was suddenly dry and the air was thick and hard to breathe. She stared at the boy, picking one foot up and then the other which felt like they were laden with lead. Her whole body felt as if she could hardly move it and her head pounded. She blinked, surely she had misheard the boy, she tried to force a smile upon her face but none came. She cleared her throat as she walked up to him, "Hey," she found that she could hardly speak, hope soared in her heart that maybe Bill really was alive but yet fear crushed her said heart that the Williamson gang had come to be, "Bud, d-did you say... Bill Williamson's gang?"

...

A/N: Hey guys, here's the next chapter, hope you all enjoyed! Really put a lot of thought and effort into this one to determine where the last few years had taken Celina. Anyway, what do you think of this chapter? Please leave me some comments, I miss recieving so many lol. The more the better.

She now knows that Bill is alive and the Williamson gang is in existence! Any thoughts/questions/comments on this? Also, James has been confirmed as Bill's, any predictions?

Disclaimer: I do not own Red Dead Redemption 1 or 2 or anything associated with it.


	11. Chapter 11

***Possible Rape trigger later in this chapter, no action, only dialogue between Celina and Lenny as they discuss Fort Mercer***

She involuntarily held her breath as she waited for the young boy to respond, "Yeah," He nodded, showing the front page of the paper to her which read 'Williamson Gang', "It's Bill Williamson's gang. They're ruthless they are, stay away and stay safe ma'am. a lot of people have been raped and killed."

Celina exhaled and nodded, it seeming to take everything she had to do just those simple actions, "I'll..." She took a deep breath. The life she thought she had known for four years now had been a lie. It had all been a lie, Bill... he wasn't dead but this was almost worse. He had become the man that she didn't think her Bill would ever become and it hurt worse than the time she had been shot. Who else had made it out of that homestead? Was the gang alive after all? Immediately, her thoughts went to Fort Mercer, was Bill already there? Was John alive and was he going to hunt him down like he had to do the first time 1911 had come and went? She licked her lips, doing her best to keep her senses about her even when it felt like the world around her was falling apart. No, Bill... he couldn't have really done all of those terrible things that the Williamson gang had surely been accused of, could have he? Not her Bill... but the fact was he was most certainly alive as this paper before her proved and he... he wasn't her Bill. The homestead being torn apart, the gang being separated had clearly impacted everyone in different ways and it appeared that those events, those events had broken Bill Williamson, drove him to madness apparently... unless something else had happened over the years.

She realized that she had lapsed into silence for a period that was probably too long, likely too long- definitely too long and it had to be weird. So, she forced herself to restart her sentence, taking in the fact that the kid was looking at her like there was something wrong with her. That was the truth, in that moment there was most definitely something wrong with her, something very wrong. She kept her kind tone with the boy, "I'm sorry... um, I'll take one paper please."

The boy nodded and handed her a paper which she took quickly and handed him a bit too much money for. He looked down at the three dollars in his hand, "Um, ma'am, you only owe me a dollar." H

He started to try to hand the extra two dollars back to her but she raised her hand to stop him and shook her head, "You keep the change." She then walked away from the confused boy, her heart hammering inside her chest as she started back towards her apartment.

Bill was alive, he was alive and his gang was out there murdering and raping just as she had warned him they would do all those years ago when he had stopped her from killing herself. She could hardly wrap her head around how it was possible that Bill Williamson could be both the leader of the Williamson gang and the man who had walked her home after Dutch had broke her heart at the Mayors party. It was hard to believe that he was the same man who had saved her life and the same man that had gotten her to fall in love with him. It was hard to believe he was the same man who was Jimmy's biological father- the same man whom she was seriously considering running off with the day that he had supposedly been killed. She took a deep breath in attempt to prevent herself from having a panic attack which she could feel coming on. It was too much, all of this, all at one it was too much.

Somehow, she managed to get herself to the front door of her apartment but instead of opening the door, she just stood there and stared at it as if it were foreign to her, as if she was unsure of what she would find on the other side. She reached out to the door handle slowly but found herself unable to open door, not physically unable... but mentally unable to complete the task. Instead, she sat sown on the chair that she kept out front of the apartment and stared down at the paper seeing no confirmation that the gang was yet in Fort Mercer. She held the paper with shaky hands. How could it be?

A sob escaped her as she knew that if she just would have stayed back when the homestead was attacked instead of leaving Bill this all could and would be different. She could have escaped with him and James and things would be different. Which did Bill believe? That she was killed? Or that she had left him? She watched as a tear ran off her face and dripped onto the paper. She clenched it tighter, causing it to wrinkle and tear. "No," She whispered under her breath, willing the news to disappear from the paper, "No, Bill... what..." She shook her head as her whole body started to tremble, "What have you done?"

...

Celina laughed harder that she had in a long time, "No, get off me you jerk!" She jerked in attempt to cover her side as Bill tickled her, easily wedging his hand past her arm and accessing her sensitive side. She laughed so hard that she couldn't stop, pushing at his chest which was currently above her face as he supported himself right over her, "You better stop before you make me pee myself!"

Bill chuckled and shook his head, "Not until you tell me the truth."

Celina gasped for air, tears from laughter streaming down her face, "No, I'm not telling you."

"Alright then," Bill continued to tickle her, "Until you tell me the truth this is going to keep happening. And I do know the truth, so it's just up to you to say it."

Celina shook her head, trying to refuse but couldn't any longer, "Fine! Fine, fine, fine!" She relented, relieved when he ceased tickling her, "Marion is... an old ladies name." She laughed even harder when Bill's mouth gaped open, amusement twinkling in his eyes. She held a hand up to stop him from saying anything, "But- but... It isn't as bad a name as Prim."

"Prim?" He looked at her in both confusion and amusement, "Who the hell's name is Prim?"

She pointed to herself, still shaking with laughter, "My middle name is Prim... Celina Prim Knoll." She laughed, "Talk about a stupid full name, right? If you say it fast, it's even worse."

Bill laughed along with her, "Celina. Prim. Knoll... Celina Prim Knoll." He shook his head, "That's bad."

She laughed, "I know, I know." She stared up at him who remained positioned above her for a quiet second after that, "So... Billy, what do you want to do?" She raised a brow suggestively at him and tugged at his shirt.

...

"Fuck." She continued to stare at the paper. It was surely a good thing that she had never told James who his real father was. No boy would want to grow up knowing that his father was the leader of the Williamson gang. Bill had gone bad, it seemed that Bill had gone real bad. What was worse was that seeing the paper... knowing where his life had taken him didn't keep her from feeling a sense of relief that he was alive. It didn't keep her from missing him or wanting to see him. It didn't make her hate him and she wasn't mad at him. No, she was hurt by what she had found that he had become and she was disappointed, terribly disappointed. She wondered that if she even would be able to talk to Bill again if she could reason with him. Would she even be able to look him in the eyes, knowing what kind of gang he led? His men... those were the kind of men that the Van Der Linde gang had taken pleasure in killing.

If... if he was alive, that meant that John could be alive... and Javier could be alive as well. She hope that was the case, she hoped that all of her friends had made it out of the homestead alive those years ago. If they had thought then that meant that the original events of 1911, the events which RDR1 was based around, may begin unfolding and soon. She ran her fingers through her hair and tugged at the black strands. If that was true, if the law began using John to hunt down their old friends, she was going to have to start making some decisions and fast because 1911 was just right around the corner. Dutch, Bill... and Javier- if he was alive as well, were all in danger and she was the only one who may be able to help them avoid paying for their sins with their lives. John? Well, how she was going to handle John if the events did come around was going to be another story. Would he still hunt down the three that used to be family to him even though they hadn't betrayed him as they would have if things hadn't been changed by her presence? Was John even living in Beecher's Hope? If he was would he listen to her if she could make it over there and tell him to run with his family before it was too late? She would have a long trip ahead of herself.

It appeared that her self-assigned duty of protecting and saving the Van Der Linde gang may not have come to an end after all. How glad she was to have found out that her family may still all be alive- or most of her family anyway. As glad as she was, she was just as nervous, she was going to have to uproot her life yet again for these men. If she saved them this time, could they all finally escape, could they find peace and freedom once and for all? She took a deep breath, it was going to be hard to get them all out of this new potential mess but she would try... even if it meant laying down her life for them. She shook her head at the paper again before balling it up and chucking it to the ground, "Dammit Bill... look at the mess you have made."

She stood up and slowly opened the door to her apartment, stepping inside quietly and shutting the door behind herself, petting Sam who ran up to her, greeting her as if he hadn't known she would come back. She made eye contact with Lenny who was sitting at her dining room table eating cereal which he had obviously made the decision to help himself to. She took a deep breath and forced a smile, seeing James and Ryder sitting at the table with him and not wanting them to see her upset, "Boys, could the two of you give me and Lenny some privacy to talk please?"

Lenny looked back at the boys and nodded at them, "Go on, I'll finish telling you the story later."

At that, Jimmy and Ryder left the table and went off down the hall most likely to one of their bedrooms. Celina walked over and stat down at the table, "I got a paper." She held eye contact with Lenny, silently confirming that she had seen what was plastered on the front page. When Lenny looked around, wondering where it was, she answered before he could ask, "I crumpled it off and threw it off the balcony."

Lenny nodded slowly, obviously not exactly sure what to do or say about the most recent news, "So..."

"So," Celina exhaled heavily, "So... I am going to have to have you either take the boys back to Rhodes with you or I'm going to have to see if either Arthur and Sadie or Josiah and his wife can watch them wile I go out and save the idiots butts one last time, also known a our family... more specifically Dutch, Bill and possibly Javier... if he is still alive too... and if John, Abbigail and Jack are alive that is. The law and John... they will only go after Dutch, Bill and Javier as far as I know since they are the only three who have managed to stay in the eye of the law. The rest of us... I think we should all be ok... but I need to leave for Beecher's Hope as soon as I get everything sorted out here with the boys."

Lenny sat there with his mouth ajar in shock at what he was hearing, his eyes were wide as well, having clearly not expected her to come up with all of that by simply reading about Bill's gang. "Wait," He blinked slowly, "What? What is this about them being hunted down?... and John?... What?"

Celina took a deep breath and rolled up her sleeve, showing him her tattoos once again, "I'm from the future, remember?"

Lenny nodded quickly, "Yeah, I know... but..."

"So, things are staring to look dangerously like they did the first time 1911 came and went... With the gang being disbanded, Dutch off with the natives... Bill running the Williamson gang.. it just..." She sighed, "It's all lining itself back up and if John is alive and living in Beecher's Hope, doing the farm life again, it is only going to be a matter of time before the law kidnaps Abbigail and Jack and uses them to force John to hunt down Bill, Javier and Dutch. If that happens then he will not have much of a choice... or at least he didn't in the first 1911, and he will kill or capture them all." She bit down on her lip, "I know that I was happy to get out of the outlaw life and live a quiet one, but... this?" She shook her head, "I am not going to sit around knowing what could happen to the people I love. I will not let them be killed or captured if I can stop it. I will lay down my life to save Dutch, Bill and Javier and if I'm killed doing so, at least I will know that I was loyal to them to the end and I did everything I could to see them achieve freedom. I will not let them be killed or captured, Lenny, I can't- they're my family. I love them all. And Bill... I am going to do everything I can to not only save his life but also any sanity that he may still have." She stared down at the table, "It almost kills me, Lenny... to see his name in the paper like it is."

Lenny was staring at her like she was nuts. Actually, she probably was nuts, to be willing to come out of retirement like she was, "You're talking about the federal government?"

Celina nodded, "I am talking about the federal government... the state.. city, whatever. They are all wanting the three of them dead, Lenny. And you know what's even more crazy? You want to know what is even more disgusting about the government than what meets the eye?"

Lenny looked nervous but he shook his head, "No, what?"

Celina laughed humorlessly, "After John would kill the three of them in attempt to get Abbigail and Jack back, the law lets him return home to them and then they bring an army onto his land and kill him and Uncle... Abbigail and Jack escape but I don't think Abbigail lives too long... I know that Jack lives, but he's the only one of John's family that isn't killed... It can't happen. We are not going to lose anyone. Not now, and when we do, it'll be of old fucking age."

Lenny still looked uncertain, "You really think that you can protect Dutch, Bill and Javier from the federal government?" His voice raised an octave or so in question. Yep. Lenny definitely thought that he had finally snapped and gone crazy... maybe she had.

"I- I don't know... maybe? It will be dangerous and definitely not easy but I am going to try, I have to at least try. As long as I know that Jimmy and Ryder are safe and in good hands, I am going to do this. I have to... I.. I can't let this befall them." She tapped on the table, "I need to get out of here, Lenny, I need to get down to Beecher's Hope and I need to see exactly what it is we're dealing with."

Lenny was still staring at her as if she had three heads, "Bill has lost it, Celina. You know that's not the man you loved... he's, he's changed... that's not even the Bill you know."

Celina nodded and stood up from her seat, raking her hair back and away from her face with her right hand, "Yes it is. It's Bill... he's there, he's in there. He's angry and hurt and that has turned him mad but he can come back from this. He will be fine if he knows the truth I can help him. I don't know how I'm going to save them but I will... I just have to..." She paced back and forth in the dining room as she so desperately attempted to formulate a plan, "I just have to think." She stared up at the ceiling, paying no attention to Lenny as he continued to stare at her like she was crazy. "I go to John first and then Dutch.. since there's less distance between the two of them than Bill and John. After I warn Dutch, I'll go down to Fort Mercer and get Bill out of there... then there's Javier down in Mexico... I won't be back for a while but once I'm back I'll see if I'm wanted or not." She looked over at Lenny, "What do you think? Do you think I could get them all on the road in say... five days?"

Lenny raised a brow at her, "I think you're nuts. You have a good life here and if you go out there playing savior to all of them then you're going to get yourself killed."

Celina acted as if she hadn't even been listening to what was said, "All of them need to go North, into Canada... way far north."

"Celina," Lenny said her name demandingly as she continued to pace, "Would you look at me and stand still please?" When she finally did as asked, Lenny took a deep breath. He would never have brought the Williamson gang to Celina's attention if he had known she would go bonkers, "You need to sit down and think about this rationally... I know you want to save them, that's understandable. As for Dutch, he's a smart man... if you think that you need to go down there and warn him and John, I agree that maybe you should and then back off and get out of this. You don't need to get yourself involved in all of this and get the law after you as well. You have a life, a good life here. Don't be risking that all over Bill Williamson who has clearly went off the deep end and Javier who you aren't even sure is alive."

It was Celina's turn to look at her friend as if he was the one with three heads, "Were you not listening to me when I said that I'm going to do this?" She pointed at the ground decisively, "I am going to go and warn all of them, Lenny and nothing you can say is going to change my mind. I can't just set by and let this happen." She licked her lips, "Hell, even you would be dead by now if it weren't for me."

Lenny's face screwed up in confusion, "What're you talking about?"

"The Saint Denis bank robbery back in 1899... you would have been shot and killed on that rooftop if it weren't for me making sure Micah was dead and gone before he could snitch on out plans... heck, Hosea would have died that day too if it weren't for me." She observed the surprised look on his face, "You're welcome. Now, tell me, would you say to give it about five days to make it to Dutch, John and Bill? Javier is going to be in Mexico so I know that'll take a little longer."

Lenny still looked shocked as she had never mentioned before that she had saved his life, he nodded slowly, "Not counting Javier... yeah, I'd say five days or so..." He shook his head, "You still need to think about this... four years have passed since you have seen Javier, John or Bill... we know that Bill has changed but the others may not be the same as you remember them either. Celina, this is a suicide mission."

"It's only a suicide mission if I get killed," That sounded like a better response in her head but out loud, it didn't sound as great. The look on Lenny's face confirmed it and she sighed, "I'm going. I'm doing this. You don't know that the Bill I knew is gone... He's been through at lot, Lenny... is whole life, he just needs a chance to make things right again."

Lenny sounded like he was getting irritated, "He is a rapist and a murderer."

The look she cast at him when he said that would have killed him if looks could kill, "You don't know that he did those things... his gang, yes. They're terrible... Bill... I... I'm not convinced he raped anyone."

"But you're ok with him being a killer?"

She opened her mouth and then closed it again, "We're all killers, Lenny. All of us have killed people. We all either do or have done bad things."

"I still say that if his gang is raping women then he is as well. Why would he lead a gang like that if he doesn't agree with it?" Lenny was doing his best to get her to see Bill through his eyes but she wasn't having it.

"No," She defended him, "I refuse to believe that he would do anything like that. As many men as he's got? It would be near impossible to keep them from doing those things if they wanted too. There's too many of them..."

Lenny shook his head at his long-time friend, "Do you also refuse to believe that if you step foot into Fort Mercer that you will not be raped if not by Bill than by someone else? Do you believe that Bill, amongst the heck of a ton of men he has could really protect you even if he wanted to if they wanted to rip your clothes off and take advantage of you? What if you enter the fort and he doesn't know you're there? What about that? All of those men could have you before he even realizes what's going on. What if he would realize and decide he likes it or wants in on it too?"

Celina continued to shake her head as he spoke, "That won't happen."

"You don't know that!"

She stared long and hard at him, "I know Bill, Lenny. I can get through to him no matter what state of mind he is in. It will be ok. He won't let anything happen to me." She admittedly wasn't quite sure if she was trying to convince him or herself of wat she was saying.

"Ok, fine." Lenny huffed out an irritated breath, "You're going to do what you're going to do. At least wait until morning and sleep on it before you go out. Get a good nights sleep and let everything sink in good."

Celina nodded, "Oh, I will, I'm going to need the rest before I start the trip to Beecher's Hope anyway."

Lenny shook his head again with a sigh, "You're crazy, woman."

A/N: The action is officially going to start picking up again from this point forwards. Let me know what you think as always, the more comments I get the more I am inspired to write.

So, Celina is set on heading out in an attempt to save the old gang one more time and she is not going to let anything anyone says to her convince her otherwise. Can I get any predictions for Fort Mercer or what you guys want to happen there? That chapter will definitely be interesting as will when she goes off in search of John and to warn Dutch. Any thoughts on this would be loved. Also, with the news, she is acting a bit unhinged, we could possibly see Celina's badass side surfacing again here soon.

Disclaimer: I do not own Red Dead Redemption 1 or 2 or anything associated with it.


	12. Chapter 12

"You are welcome to stay here as long as you need to, Lenny. Right now though I need to get all of my needed things packed up and ready to go. Arthur and Sadie are going to take the boys while I'm gone so I am going to drop them off at their place today." She spoke to Lenny who stood outside of her bedroom, leaning against the door frame as he watched her move around her bedroom and collect various items she thought she would need for the trip. Finally, she stooped and slid a chest out from under her bed, opening it to reveal an assortment of weapons.

Lenny whistled lowly, "Never let them far from reach, do you."

Celina looked up at him from her crouched position with a smile, "After the life I've lived? I would have to be crazy. Don't lie, I know you have a revolver on you somewhere."

The black man chuckled and reached to pull a revolver out from the back of his pants, winking at her knowingly, "I don't go anywhere without it."

Celina shook her head and equipped herself with her old gun belt before cleaning the two revolvers that she had had and cherished for many years, "Would you mind waking the boys up? Their room is right down the hall and to the left."

Lenny nodded, "Sure thing." He then pushed himself off of the door frame and started down the hall to the boy's room.

Celina watched as he left her sight and then holstered her guns once she was through with cleaning them. That done, she tended to the sawed off shotgun Dutch had gotten her al of those years ago with a slightly heavy heart. It really was too bad that things hadn't gone differently between the two of them but she figured everything happened for a reason. Despite those thoughts, she killed the top of the barrel of the gun with affection and closed her eyes, holding that position for a moment. Dutch may not be hers any longer but she would be damned if she stood by and let anyone take his life. Secretly she was delighted each time he walked through the door of her apartment and to her for the hug of greeting which they always shared. She took a deep breath before slinging the gun over her shoulder and standing to her feet. The woman then opened the drawer of her nightstand and took out the excessive amount of ammo she kept stored there, equipping the bag she carried with as much of it as she could and loading al three of her guns appropriately.

She looked out into the hallway at the sound of three footsteps coming back towards her bedroom, smiling at Lenny and the boys, "Ryder, Jimmy, mommy is going away on some business. I am going to go and help your daddy so you are all going to stay with Uncle Arthur and Aunt Sadie while I'm gone, ok?"

The two young boys stared at her with wide eyes, Jimmy being the one to speak, "But why do you have to go? Das hasn't needed your help before, why now? Is he in trouble?"

She took a deep breath knowing very well that that could be the last day she was able to see her boys... the last time that they were able to see her. If there was ever a time for honesty, it was now. She licked her lips slowly and nodded, "He might be in a lot of trouble, ok?" She felt guilt at the sad and worried looks on their little faces but she wasn't going to take the chance of departing from them- potentially forever under a lie, "It's not just your daddy that might be in trouble either." She looked at Ryder who was staying silent but had tears building up in his eyes, "Ryder, buddy. You stay string, ok? I know that you don't know your Uncle Bill or Javier or John, but they are very important to mommy and they need my help just like daddy does, ok?"

Ryder sniffled, "Why do you have yo help mommy? Daddy can help them."

Celina gave a sad, small smile and made eye contact with Lenny before looking back at her boys, "Your daddy could help buddy, but he doesn't know that he's in danger or that any of them are in danger and he needs to be more worried on helping himself than anyone else right now. Ok? I will be back home soon.. It'll all be ok and then the two of you, daddy and I can all go and do anything you want. Ok?" So much for not lying to them. She did have to stay positive though, if she started thinking that she may not make it back home then that might just be her first mistake. She would make it back to her kids, she would and they would be just fine. Everyone would be just fine and all of them would finally be able to put the law behind them once and for all.

Lenny stared at her with a look that seemed as full of worry as he could carry, "Do you want me to get them breakfast?"

Celina shook her head, adjusting the bag that was slung over her shoulder along with her sawed off shotgun, "No, Arthur and Sadie should be expecting them already, they're going to eat breakfast there and convince Arthur and Sadie that the two of them should give in and have kids."

Lenny laughed, "Is that why you wanted them to stay with the two of them so badly? You want them to make some babies of their own?"

Celina winked at Lenny, silently answering his question with a 'yes'. Ryder stared at the guns which his mother was sporting, "Mommy, are you going to kill people?"

Celina stared in shock at her son for asking the question which had just come out of his mouth, "I'm only going to kill people if they try to kill new first." She walked over to the two boys and knelt before them so that she was more eye level with them and she looked them right in the eyes with a look of intensity, "I want to tell you boys right now too that if there should ever be a time that you are in danger, you always hurt whoever or whatever is trying to hurt you before it can hurt you, do you understand?"

The boys both nodded and Jimny got a look of excitement on his face, "Do you think that you can teach me how to shoot someone, ma?"

Celina's eyes widened and she stood to her feet, "Nope, not until you're older. Shooting someone... It's not a good thing, Jimmy and it's not something you want to do unless you have to."

"Do you think that Uncle Arthur would teach me?" That was Jimmy's next question, his voice full of hope.

Celina shook her head with a light laugh, "No, uncle Arthur isn't going to teach you how to shoot anyone and if he does then I just might have to beat him up myself." She thought for a moment, "Actually, I would be ok if he wanted to teach you boys how to fight with your hands... that would be ok while you're over there if he wants to."

Jimmy once again looked excited, "I hope he does, I bet he will, ma!"

Lenny laughed as well at the young boys enthusiasm for learning how to beat someone up, "You know, he's actually reminding me of his dad right now."

Celina smiled a bit at that, knowing that by saying 'his dad' he was secretly referring to Bill who absolutely loved a good scrap. She rolled her eyes at that too though and gently ushered all three of them out of the bedroom. She looked to her sons, "Now the two of you go and get your shoes on so we can head over to Arthur and Sadie's, they have to be wondering where we are."

The boys protested a bit but went over to the door anyway at her command and slid their shoes on, their faces looking downcast at the idea of their mom who they had never known life without, leaving. Jimmy looked over at Celina, his little face showing his concern, "Just promise me you won't get shot, mom, and that you won't be gone long."

Celina looked over at the boy from where she stood a few feet away, slipping into her own shoes, "I promise, buddy. I won't be gone long." She grabbed her jacket from the coat rack and left through the front door with the boys, looking back at Lenny who stood on the other side of the door with San at his feet. She offered a small smile at the two of them, "Either you can let me take Sam to Arthur and Sadie's now, or you can keep him here with you until you decide to leave. The apartments yours for as long as you want it until I get back... if you want him here though, just don't forget to drop him off to them."

Lenny nodded at her, "I'll keep him here with me for a little while I think. I could use the company and plus," he scratched Sam's head affectionately, "He's kinda grown on me, I like dogs."

Celina smiled, "Alright, well..." she took a deep breath, "Off to see wolf-man I go." Lenny caught something in her eyes and was the only one to do so, what he caught was fear. Fear that she may not be making it back home as she acted so certain she would. She knew that he saw it too as the corner of her mouth twitched, "I'll see you soon." It was more of a wish than a promise, a wish that both of them silently knew may just not be in the cards to come true.

Lenny waved her off, "I'll see you soon. Be safe, and say hi to Dutch for me, haven't seen him in years."

Celina nodded at him, waving goodbye as well before she set off down the walkway with her two sons towards Arthur and Sadie's. It was weird, real weird how she was feeling knowing that the old gang may be all alive and well after all. It was possible with the new knowledge she had that none of them had died at the homestead, maybe all of them had made it out alive and were just... separated from one another. Maybe she Dutch, Arthur, Sadie and Lenny hadn't left the rest of the gang behind... maybe the gang had all left one another...

Just like that she began to question the life she had lived for years... away from Dutch and her heart began to ache. Maybe his decisions hadn't gotten any of them killed... maybe she had been too hard on him.. had she pushed him away for no reason? He had told her he would change for her once and for all and the fact she had thought the majority of the gang was dead because of him was one big factor that kept her from taking him back. She but down on her bottom lip nervously. She could have sworn that she had no feelings for Dutch romantically one way or another before Lenny brought the news with him. But now, she was beginning to question that. Maybe she did have feelings for him still and the fact that she blamed the death of their family on him kept her from allowing herself to continue to be in love with him...

Was that possible, was that it? Had her blame and bitterness towards what had happened overridden any feelings she had for Dutch? It seemed that way because upon finding out that he possibly hadn't gotten them killed... She was feeling differently. She was feeling, guilt- regret. Had she talked herself out of being with him for the past four years over something that wasn't even true? She had been guarded against him for what seemed like so long because she thought that he had cost their family their lives... now they were possibly alive.. all of them- maybe.

It were as if she was in high school again, how she was getting butterflies in her stomach at the thought of seeing Dutch again and not having all that hurt cloud her judgement of him. It was as if this news had given her permission to be with him all over again. Dutch was fifty-three now and had cut his hair short a while back although it was beginning to grow out again the last time she saw him only the prior week.

His hair was all silver in the temples and she had had a hard time keeping herself from being caught checking him out last time he was over. She had wanted it from him truth be told... not out of feelings at the time but just sheer attraction. He hadn't aged nearly as much as RDR1 had made him out to age. Sure he looked slightly older, but he was still sturdily built with muscle, not wuite looking his age aside from his silver hair. He was handsome and charming, he was always so handsome and charming and Celina was sure that after four years he had likely moved on.

Four years, that was the amount of time she may have foolishly wasted... perhaps she had lost her relationship with Dutch for good. It was possible... four years was  
a while to be broken up with someone. She looked down at her boys as they continued the short walk to Arthur and Sadie's. Would it be stupid to even allow herself to start thinking of Dutch as more than a friend again? The boys would love it, that was for sure and Dutch hadn't been drawing a whole lot of attention to himself lately so maybe he really had changed. She hadn't really tried to find out. Heck, over the last foir years she had trained herself not to feel anything romantic for Dutch nor allow herself to be close to him. Those choices were really making her feel quite stupid present time.

Had she blown it? Would Dutch even care if she made a pass at him? Would she have the guts to do such a thing after those years? She took a deep breath, what if she got to Tall Trees, where he had been staying and he had another woman? It was possible, it was quite possible but Celina hadn't slept with another man ever since she and Dutch had broken up last... regardless of how many men she had granted a date with her over the years. She brought none of them home and climbed into bed with none, to that very day, Dutch Van Der Linde had been her last and she highly doubted that he could say the same for her. She had broken his heart, she knew that and in that moment she was truly hating herself for doing such a thing.

Four years! They could have had four extra years together, could have had more kids. Hell, they could have finally gotten married but she couldn't see past her hirt to give him another chance. Maybe that was why she couldn't find a man she was truly interested in in the last four years... maybe her heart had secretly still been with Dutch all along.

...

Celina rode long and hard that morning towards Beechers Hope and actually managed to arrive there by sunset. She sat on Bullet and stared at the farm which most certainly belonged to her old friend, John Marston. She felt a smile tug at her lips and spread across her face at the knowledge that he was alive and well and she had made it to her first (And easiest) destination safely.

Celina scratched Bullets neck who had admittedly been spending more time in the Saint Denis stable than he should have been for the last few months. It'd was unfair to the horse, she knew that but she couldn't help that life had been keeping her a little to busy to go out and ride like she had been in the habit of. She leaned forward towards his furry ears and whispered into them, "Are you ready to go and see John? We'll see if he has an apple or carrot he can spare you."

She fixed her gaze on the house up ahead and had a hard time wiping the smile from her face. It had been four years since she had seen her friend. She had spent four years not knowing for sure whether he was alive or dead. She spurred Bullet forwards and called out at loudly and dramatically as possible, "John Marston, come out with your hands up!"

There was a moment of silence, and then another and fear gripped at her heart that perhaps she was too late. Maybe John had already been taken away to work for the government... maybe he was already made into a law man and was heading down to Fort Mercer as she sat there on her horse looking like an idiot for riding in like she had, trying to play games. "John?" She squeaked out, the pitch of her voice rising with concern.

She rode up the rest of the way to his house before hitting Bullet to the post outside and making her way slowly up the porch steps. Not even Uncle was in sight... weird. RDR1 was after all based off of a journal which John kept, right? She had thought so, she had thought it to be historically accurate as well but she hadn't bothered to look into it as much as she had RDR2... the reason? They hadn't depicted Dutch as hot in RDR1, tbh... also, the first game had never held her attention as well, the graphics had been alright, not as realistic as the second game of course.

She peered into his home through the door, seeing no lights coming from within the home. She knocked on the door, "John Marston, open up!" She tried to sound as intimidating and unlike herself as possible. Their horses and livestock were there and looked like they were all doing fine, so the Marstons should be fine, right? She knocked again, "John, if you're in there, open up, this ain't funny no more. Get out here."

There was another long quiet moment before she could see someone walking through the house and towards the door, that someone being none other than John Marston himself. Celina positively beamed at him as he opened the door and stared at her in shock, "Celina? You're alive?!"

"No, John," Celina smirked, "Just come back to haunt you, John." She drew the man in for a hug which he returned warmly, "I wasn't sure that you were still alive yourself after all of that went down at the homestead. I see that you got yourself a pretty nice farm now though."

John pulled away with a smile, still eyeing her like he could hardly believe she was there, "Yeah, got it built up soon after all of that went down. That was some crazy stuff, back there."

Celina nodded and entered the house when John motioned for her to, letting the door shut behind herself, "It was, all because we didn't stop robbing like we were supposed to." John nodded and Celina continued, following him into his living room, "You know, Dutch, Jimmy, Arthur, Sadie and I all made it out together... I was scared to death that you all were going to be killed. Went back to the old farm with Arthur and Sadie to find the area cleaned out... no bodies to identify. We went to your ranch after that, your old one and none of you were there... I thought you were dead John, until I found out that Bill was still alive and then I started wondering about everyone else."

John nodded, grabbing a beer from his shelf of them and handing one to her which she gratefully accepted, "I didn't go back, didn't think that it would be safe but I did mourn you guys. That was... what went down, that army they brought on us..."

Celina nodded in agreement, "It was a lot to say the least, a bounty hunter must have excaped when Dutch and I were rescued from being captured the night before... lived and brought the law back on us is the only thing I can think of."

John nodded, taking a drink of his beer with a twinkle in his eyes of happiness to be reunited with the woman, "I am relieved to hear that the six of you got out. I was hoping that maybe you would... maybe there was a way... I made it out with Charles and Sean, and Uncle of course Abbigail and Jack as well... obviously."

Celina laughed, "Obviously.. Charles, Uncle and Sean," she smiled, "It is so good to hear that the three of them are alright as well... I'm taking it maybe Bill and Javier made it out together."

John shrugged, "I hope so." He eyed her for a moment in thought, "So, you managed to track me down here... where are you staying holed up at?"

Celina sighed, "Saint Denis, actually."

His eyes widened, "You in Saint Denis?"

Celina nodded and took a swig of her beer, "Was Strawberry for a while so that Dutch could come and see the kids more easily than having to sneak into the city... but that changed. It gets better though... Arthur and Sadie are living in Saint Denis as well."

John had to struggle to swallow his beer, having almost spit it out at that, making Celina laugh. He stared at the woman who was sitting comfortably next to him on his couch, "You and Dutch ain't together? And Arthur Morgan is living in the city?"

Celina laughed and held up her beer in acknowledgement, "I know, I know, who would have ever thought? But Sadie wanted to try it and well... she's my friend so I agreed. Arthur kinda didn't have much of a choice, being married to her and all but he's doing alright there... still running around like the cowboy he is, even in the city." She smiled, thinking about him before the smile slowly left her face, "Dutch and I... we split after everything went down at the homestead... I couldn't be with him... holding him to blame for the deaths of everyone we thought had been killed by the law. It was wrong of me, I knew that then and now, but I couldn't help it... now, I'm regretting it... I've cut him out of my life over belief that luckily just isn't true." She took a swig from her bottle and winked at him as she swallowed and pointed to said bottle, "This helps though, thank you." She then looked around the house from where she sat, "Say, where's Abbigal and Jack and Uncle?"

"They actually went into town, believe it or not," he rested his arm over the back of the couch, "They should be getting back anytime now though, given it's getting dark."

"Common now, wolf-man," Celina teased, "You're telling me you're not out there trying to find a place to go and howl at the moon?"

John laughed at that, despite the fact that the joke was at his expense, "Alright... Arthur," he teased back, "I can see that you and he are still close... so tell me, what is it that really brings you out here? I doubt you came out to Beechers Hope just on a thought that I may be alive."

Celina licked her lips and nodded slowly, "Ok, to the point... I like it.." She took another drink of her beet before sitting it down on the table and looking at him, the expression on her face suddenly nothing but serious, "You are in trouble, John... you, Dutch, Bill, and Javier if he's even still alive. You got the government coming after you, the feds and none of you may make it through this coming year."

"Wait," John started as he set his own beer down as well, completely engaging in the conversation, "How can you possibly know that?"

Celina raised a brow at and pointed to the tattoo on her hand, "I'm from the future, John, remember that..." She took a deep breath, "I've seen things and they're all adding up to work towards what happened the first time 1911 came and went... we both know that it'll be here in a few days."

John nodded slowly, shifting uncomfortably in his seat, "So..." he sounded nervous and with real reason to be so, "What... what's going to happen?"

"You're going to take Abbigal and Jack and you're going to run, either Uncle can leave himself or be can go with you but none of you can stay here. I don't know exactly when the feds are going to arrive, but they will, John... they will kidnap Abbigail and Jack and force you to chase down and either capture or kill Bill, Javier... and... and Dutch. They're going to turn you into a law man."

John shook his head and picked up his beer again, "They aren't going to turn me into no law man. I ain't going to do that to Dutch and them... I mean... they did all leave me for dead... and," he shook his head, "Still, I wouldn't do that. I mean you left me for dead too and we're still ok. Jack and Abbigail, I'm sure that everything will be ok, we're real quiet here and we can be quieter."

"I'm telling you, John," Celina leaned forwards on the couch, her elbows resting on her knees, "You all need to pack up and leave as soon as they get home, tonight. This can happen, this will happen if you don't get out of here. No matter how much you are ok with the old crew, you will change your mind when you have to turn against them for the safety of your family... and let me tell you John... that safety, it won't last. Of all of you, Jack would be the only one to live and officially evade the law. You? You will be killed almost immediately after returning home, by the law. They will all turn and ambush you. They are going to use you to kill those that they want dead and then take you out as well. They won't ever intend on letting you go as a free man, not ever." Her tone adapted an edge to it, "Do not let this happen, John."

Celina could almost see the wheels in John Marstons head turning before he started speaking, "Ok, ok... you're serious about this."

Celina nodded at him, no hint of humor about her at all, "I am dead serious, John. You guys need to get out of here and not look back. This is me coming all the way out here to try to help you, to try to save you and our family... please just listen to me."

John swallowed, "I suppose you wouldn't have made the trip if this wasn't really going to happen."

Celina shook her head, "No, I wouldn't have." She took a deep breath, "I'm scared, John... honest. I'm scared that history is going to repeat itself and there's nothing I can do about it. I've been trying so hard for all of these years to save all of you and now things are lining right back up, I can see that... and it scares me." She licked her lips, "I am risking my life getting involved in this which otherwise, I likely probably wouldn't even be a part of. But I am making myself a part of it to try and save you boys... as always. So please, listen." She reached out and put her hand on his knee in a purely platonic manner, "I might be killed, getting involved, it's very possible. All I ask is to be granted the satisfaction of knowing that I did all I could to protect the lot of you."

John shook his head, "You really are something, you know that? Like a guardian angel or something sent here from the future to protect us."

Celina laughed loudly at that, taking a moment to compose herself at the thought of being called an angel, "I'm far from an angel, John... far from it."

"But you're not though," John stared at her, wide-eyed, "You're like a savior to us... a Van Der Linde Savior."

...

A/N: There's the chapter that I was trying to build some higher level of anticipation for you guys! She is officially on the road and on her way to save the gang once again. She is also beginning to wonder if she really had ever stopped having feelings for Dutch despite doing a great job convincing herself that she didn't for the past few years. So, after leaving John's place she will be heading out to Tall Trees in attempt to warn Dutch.

What do you all think so far and of this chapter? Can I please get any questions/comments/predictions in the comments? And that was the thing to look forward to this chapter, Celina realizing (finally) that she might still actually want Dutch after all those years since she can no longer blame him for the 'death' of the family.

What goes down in Tall Trees will definately be interesting and I'm looking forward to hearing what you guys think may happen there :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Red Dead Redemption 1 or 2 or anything associated with it.


	13. Chapter 13

Celina remained on John's couch but laying down now wither arms folded behind her head on the armrest and her feet tucked up to leave John with his personal space. She stared at the ceiling, "So you and Charles really built this place yourself?"

John nodded back at her, "Yep, he and I built the whole thing and Uncle likes to say that he supervised it all which... you know how that went... knowing Uncle."

Celina laughed and nodded again herself, with a knowing smile plastered on her face, "I definitely know how that went, no questions asked there." She glanced over in the direction of the door, her brow furrowing with slight concern as she could see the sky outside had darkened completely, "The three of them should have been back by now, shouldn't have they?"

John looked over to the door himself then, concern etching itself upon his own face and he stood up, walking to said door, looking out it in a nervous manner, "Well, yeah... what time is it? They should have been back a little bit ago. I had no idea it had gotten so dark out."

Celina pulled out her pocket watch, really it was Dutch's, the old one that she had managed to drag with her from 2018 and studied the hands on it, "It's seven thirty right now."

"No," John sounded devastated, "They should have been back, they really... they should have been back by now." He looked over at her with a fearful look that about broke her heart, "You don't think that they were already found, do you? I mean, you really don't know when all of this took place the first time around?"

Celina sat up and walked over to the door as well, standing beside her friend as they peered out into the darkness for any sign of his family. She took a deep, heavy breath, "No, I don't know, John... I- I'm sorry. I got down her a soon as I could to try to warn you. If RDR1 ever included the dates that things were taking place, I must not have paid attention enough to remember it. I'm pretty sure all the time specifications it gave us were only the year. It... It could be happening now, I suppose..."

They both jumped when a figure staggered up onto the porch and called John's name in a breathy manner but calmed down immediately after realizing that person standing out there was Uncle. John swung the door open, his eyes still wide in fear, "Uncle, Uncle, what happened out there? Where is Abbigail and Jack?"

Uncle looked devastated and he looked over at Celina, surprise written over his face at the sight of her, "You're alive dear."

Celina nodded, "Good to see you, Uncle."

He did not desire to waste time with greeting, turning his attention back to John as well, "Abbigail and Jack... we were in Blackwater, as usual you know..." He took a dee breath and staggered further into the house, collapsing into the nearest chair to catch his breath, "We were in Blackwater just minding our business and the whole time we had a feeling that we were being watched. We were careful we were- trying to stay aware of our surroundings." He raised his hand towards the ceiling in defeat, "We thought we were just paranoid-"

"Ok, ok," John interrupted him, having enough of his retelling of the events that had transpired, "Cut to the chase, what happened to my wife and son?"

Uncle swallowed and just looked at him for a moment as if he would be able to read his mind through some type of intense eye contact, "John..." He started as if what had happened was the hardest thing in the word to tell him, "I am so sorry, but Abbigail and Jack were taken."

Celina had not wasted much time before riding out after that. Her initial plan was to stay at John's place overnight, but she couldn't risk being caught up in everything when the law came to inform John as to what he had to do. As much as she hated the idea of leaving her fried in the distraught state he was in, she had to leave because she couldn't chance letting anything keep her from reaching Dutch, Bill and Javier. Fear gripped her heart at the fact that she wasn't quite sure how she was going to help John, not with his family already having been taken. She wouldn't let him know where she was going, only that she had to warn the rest of them and that they would all try to figure something out. They had to because if they didn't... she was going to have to pick sides and Celina Knoll most certainly wouldn't ever side with the law.

She pushed Bullet onwards through the night, she wasn't tired, not yet. She had way too much going on to possibly think of sleep at the moment. She needed to get to Dutch and then the others fast. It was going to be hard, if they couldn't figure a way to keep John from being forced to work as a law man because that would mean that she would be forced to turn against him. The whole gang would be forced to turn against him, and Celina wasn't one to let her side lose. There had to be a way to keep John from becoming the enemy. She began to feel sick, if she would have just ridden out the night before, if she hadn't slept on the news that Bill was alive then she could have gotten down to John's place in time to save him- save all of them from the awful mess that they were now faced with. Sure, the law may have been able to find him eventually... maybe- but that wasn't the point. The point was now that things were going to be a lot more difficult. Things just never could be easy, could they?

It seemed not. At the sound of the howling of wolves, her heartrate quickened, and she could sense Bullet starting to spook, "Woah, woah, boy. It's alright. We're going to get though here and be on our way, but I need you to stay calm, alright?" She spurred him forwards and the horse picked up his speed, racing ahead as quickly as he could, just as eager as she to get away from their current surroundings. He reared at that point though, nearly knocking her to the ground and making her instinctively grip onto her saddle horn with one hand and his mane with the other. Something was wrong, something was very wrong, "Woah boy, you don't want to throw me, do you?"

The howling of the wolves picked up again and up ahead she could see the glow of several sets of amber eyes. The woman took a deep breath and drew her revolvers, "This would be a really good time for dead eye to be an actual thing." She braced herself and fired at the closest wolf as it lunged at her, shooting it right between the eyes and ten turning as another one lunged from the other side and shot it in the chest. The thing was, she really liked wolves, thought they were beautiful creatures- but when they tried to kill you first... She rode Bullet away somewhat, hoping to escape the pack that seemed to claim that area as their home, but the horse once again stopped running. He was too scared, like a deep froze in headlights, terrified. She took a dep breath, "Not the way I thought this night would go, horse."

There were more wolves to circle in on them and Celina started firing at the creatures, letting out a cry of pain when one managed to get the upper hand on er and bite into her leg. She shot it In the face, "Good lord, son of a-" She shot another one and then another one, her leg throbbing something terrible. "Holy cow," She wiped at the sweat on ger forehead once it seemed that all wolves stupid enough to attack her had been killed and climbed down from Bullet, crying out in pain and nearly falling over when she attempted to put weight on her right leg.

"What am I going to do?" She looked to her horse who obviously couldn't give her an answer, "Bullet, what am I going to do?" Relying on the survival tactics she had learned from movies when movies were truly a thing, she stumbled we way over to a group of the wolves which she had killed and crouched down next to them, taking out her knife and skinning the first one. If she could keep making progress at the rate she had been, then she should arrive at Tall Trees before the sun rose so for now, she just needed to get herself to hang tight until she arrived there. After skinning the wolf, she took out a small bottle of alcohol and pored some onto her injury, again crying out in pain. Of course, she couldn't see the damage that had been done but she sure could feel it and it felt bad, really bad."

She took her belt off, bot the gun belt but the regular belt she wore and folded a section she had cut of the wolf's pelt over her wound begore wrapping the belt around it to secure it in place and keep pressure on the area. She took a deep, shaky breath and eyed the other dead wolves in the darkness, she was already there, she figured, surely, she would be greeted more warmly into the Tall Trees settlement if she arrived bearing gifts. The natives would appreciate some nice new pelts, she was sure and hoped that it would possibly make them more willing to give her the medical attention she needed. So quickly, she skinned five other wolves and stashed their skins on Bullet before painfully pulling herself back into her saddle.

She patted the horse's neck once she found a position that kept the pain in her leg to the minimum it could be, "Ok boy... lets get out of here."

...

She had ridden on for hours after that, getting more and more light headed as she rode, desperately hoping that she could hang on just a little longer despite the amount of blood she was probably losing. She looked down at her leg to see that her pants were stained red, her blood seeping out from under the wolf pelt. Celina bit down on her lip to try to distract herself from the pain her leg was causing her, she was almost there. She could see the teepees up ahead in a clearing amongst the trees she rode through.

The sun wasn't quite up yet, she having arrived to the camp quicker than she predicted. Her vision swam with dark spots which were getting bigger and bigger by the second. She had to yell, she didn't have a choice as she was just barely managing to keep herself upright on Bullet, "Dutch! D- Dutch..." She rode a bit further until she was just outside the camp and face to face with the man who had been tasked with keeping watch of the place through the nigh. She just barely registered him saying something to her but with her current state, she was not all that coherent, "Please, get D-Dutch."

Dutch stirred from his sleep at the sound of someone running into his tent and calling his name in an urgent manner, "Dutch, there's a girl here and she's wanting to see you. She's hurt."

He opened his eyes slowly and stared at the young Native American boy as he processed what was being said to him, "There's a girl here? Well help her I guess. What's her name?" He tried in his tired state to think of all of the girls his visitor- apparently injured visitor could possibly be. Was it a trap? He figured that there had to be a good amount of young women out there who were less than fond of him at the point things were at. Was it that one girl who had fancied him a few months back? He knew that he had blown that when he had called her Celina.. she was much too young for him anyway. Was it one of the women that he had sook comfort with another time? What girl in their right mind would possibly be out there foolish enough to get herself hurt and then try to come and track him down? He groaned, "How old is this girl?"

"Well," The boy shifted from one foot to the other, "Not a girl exactly, but a woman, in her thirties maybe.. dark hair... blue eyes, she's just barely conscious..

Dutch sat straight up at that knowing very well who was there, instantly being wide awake. Celina was there but why was Celina there? Gad something happened with one of the boys while he was away? And she was hurt, was she ok? He stood to his feet, his heart racing, "Take me to her," He immediately shooed the by out of his tent wanting to waste no time in getting over to Celina. She had traveled all that way to come and see him, but why? Couldn't she have just written him a letter for one of his boys to pick up?

Celina thanked the kind Native woman who handed her a canteen of water and drank from it carefully. It seemed that having the wolf pelts in tow and asking for Dutch by name really came in handy in getting the Natives to quickly rush to her aid. They were good people she hadn't yet come across a bad one. It was a shame how they were all treated by the government, it was a real shame. She just hoped that Dutch was over there truly attempting to help them out of their difficult situation, "D-dutch," She spoke to the older woman, "He's here, isn't he?"

She nodded at her with a warm, sincere smile, "Yes dear he's here and Standing Bear has gone to get him. You're Celina you say?"

Celina nodded, feeling a bit better and a bit more coherent due to the fact that her wound had been dressed and she had been able to law down and take pressure off of her leg. The water that she was given felt good to drink and the medicine she figured should be kicking in soon, "Yes," She still did feel a little light headed, "I'm Celina."

The lady cast her a knowing smile of sorts, "Oh Dutch will be glad to see you here... other than the fact you've been injured of course."

Celina managed to smile back at her, "Oh I don't know about that."

"He will though, dear, he will. He talks about you all the time."

Celina felt a tug at her heart and she looked over to see Dutch walking towards them upon hearing the demanding boom of his voice asking where she was. The old lady spoke up for her knowing that she didn't have much strength to do so herself, "She's over here, Dutch, we've just dressed her wounds. It was a wolf attack but she should be fine. Lost a good amount of blood."

Dutch rushed over to her, stopping in his tracks when he saw her laying there by the light of the lantern, her blue eyes dragging him in just as they had the day that he had met her, "Miss Knoll, how I wish you had come here on better circumstances." She could tell that he was nervous, after having known the man for eleven years, she could read him like the back of her hand more often than not.

Celina stared up at him, feeling rather nervous herself, "I had to come and see you." She felt stupid for saying that out loud, as that was obviously the case since she had trekked so far to reach him.

He seemed to think that was funny as she could see him smile slightly by the light of the lantern, "Horses Run, could you please give Celina and I a moment to speak?"

The old lady nodded with a mischievous smile plastered across her face as she stood to her feet and walked past Dutch, placing a wrinkled hand on his shoulder lightly and giving it a gentle squeeze, "Take as much time as you need. She should be fine now and heaven knows you have a lot of talking to do..." She shook her head and removed her hand from his shoulder as she continued on by, "The woman really came all the way from Saint Denis to see you."

Dutch smiled back at her, "I am well aware." He approached Celina slowly and sat down in the chair which Horses Run had previously been seated, "What were you doing coming to see me in the middle of the night like this?" Concern was evident of his face and he slowly dared to reach out to her, taking her hand in his, "You could have been killed. You were nearly killed. Are the boys ok?" His eyes searched hers for an answer, "You could have sent me a letter or something."

She nodded weakly, "The boys are ok, they're with Arthur and Sadie." She took another drink from the canteen, propping herself up on her elbow and looking at him, not exactly knowing where to start with what she wanted to say. Finally, she just blurted the first thing out, "You're in trouble, Dutch. You are in a lot of trouble.. things are beginning to right themselves as to how they were the first time 1911 came and went..." She then with all the strength she could muster, told him what she had told John and Lenny, Dutch sitting there and listening to her silently, not daring to interrupt her as she told him what the future could very well hold. She stopped to take a drink a few times, coughing here and there but never pausing in what she was saying for more than a moment. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze back, "You need to get out of here, Dutch. They already got John and they're going to force him to work for them. We got to do something. You need to leave, go north, as far into Canada as you can and get yourself good and lost."

Dutch just stared at her for a moment, "You came all this way to save me, after all of this time?"

"Well," Celina nodded, "Yes." She held eye contact with him for a moment, "You will always be the father to my boys, Dutch.. no matter what. And... regardless..." She looked at their hands which were still holding onto one another's, "I could never sit by knowing that you were being hunted down, kids or not. I can't live with myself if I didn't try to get you out of this mess. I don't want you to die, Dutch... not now... not ever."

They held silent eye contact for a moment more and Dutch took a dep breath, looking at their hands himself, "As glad as I am the gang is alright, you need to make sure that leg recovers before you take off down to Fort Mercer. Do you think Bill is as bad as he would have ended up had you not ever come into the picture?"

She shook her head and lied to him, she couldn't tell him the truth about how dangerous it was going to be going down there or he would never let her go, "No, I don't see how he could be." She thanked the lucky stars that he hadn't seemed to have caught wind of what Bill had been up to or even that he was alive prior to her telling him.

Dutch nodded, "Your leg needs to get better before you go running off anywhere else. Ok? I really don't like the idea of you going out there but if anyone can help them... I suppose it would be you. And if I am really being hunted how you say I am, I won't stand a chance if I try to come along with you. Hell, it would make it worse... You know, I could send a few of my men so that you have backup if you need it. More power and protection."

Celina shook her head, "No, no... Ok? I will do this myself... if I am running around with a group of Native Americans I am going to without doubt attract attention to myself. I'll wait here until my leg heals a little." She shrugged, "I wanted to be gone as quickly as I got here and on my way but that clearly isn't going to happen." She looked down at her leg. The medicine the natives had given her was starting to kick in and her wound was stating to hurt a little less.

Dutch followed her gaze, "I was fixing on coming back to Saint Denis and seeing you guys again soon. We're bust here though and I can't always drop everything to make that trip."

Celina swallowed, she had definitely convinced herself over the last few years that her feelings for Dutch had disappeared because right then, right in that moment, she could feel all of them rising to the surface as strong as ever. She couldn't help herself, maybe it was the medicine that she had been given that gave her the courage to say it or maybe it was the fact that she still wasn't convinced that she would live through her current task to make it back to him again once she left his camp. She licked her lips slowly and said something that she wished she would have said to him years sooner, "I am so sorry, Dutch, for cutting you out the way I did. I'm sorry for refusing to acknowledge any feelings I had for you.. for keeping us from being together for those years after our homestead life went to hell."

Dutch pulled his hand away from hers at that, staring at her as if that was the last thing he ever expected to come from her mouth and he suddenly sounded nervous, "What are you trying to say?"

Celina took a deep breath and coughed gently, the cool air getting to her, "I'm saying that I messed up, Dutch... " She looked away from him, feeling stupid for even saying what she was. What did she expect, to pour out her heart to him and just hope that he could forgive her as she had forgiven him? After four years of not being together in a romantic sense, who did she think she was to suddenly show up at his camp, telling him how she felt? Still, she didn't feel stupid enough about the situation to keep her feelings bottled up inside. She could be dead in a week, trying to save the gang and she needed to get how she felt off her chest, "I was wrong to push you away after all of that happened and to blame everything solely on you... to blame the loss of our family on you, out home... our lifestyle. That bitterness that I felt towards you because of all that blame, that kept me from realizing... for four years... but once I found out that Bill was still alive and that the rest of the gang might be alive... I realized that... Once I found out the odds were good of everyone having a good chance of getting out of the homestead after all, I knew that..." She was afraid to finish her sentence but Dutch wasn't about to let her just stop talking like that.

He raised a brow at her expectantly, "You realized what?" He asked, "You knew what?"

She took another deep breath, "Realizing that our family had likely made it out alive suddenly took away any bitterness that I felt towards you. I stopped blaming you for their deaths, Dutch because I realized that I couldn't blame you, since they could be alive after all. Some of them... maybe we'll never know but still, I can't blame you for the deaths of anyone who didn't make it out alive.. that wouldn't make sense or be fair considering how many of us did make it out alive. I just... coming to that realization I couldn't be mad at you anymore... I couldn't feel bitter towards you or even upset with you. Heck... the absence of that bitterness made me realize how much I still want you in my life... how much... how much I still love you."

Dutch's mouth gaped open and then he closed it and then he stood up from his chair and stared down at her, trying to say something again but shaking his head instead, closing his mouth once more. Celina closed her eyes tightly for a moment, "I'm sorry, I- I shouldn't have said anything." She laughed without humor, "Coming here like I did to tell you to leave was necessary, but throwing that on you too." She shook her own head and opened her eyes, "I never should have said that. I don't expect you to feel the same way. I- I'm sorry."

He still stood there silently for a moment, looking as shocked as ever, completely at a loss as to what to say for a moment, "Four years..." His words came out quietly, barely above a whisper. The second time he said it, they could be heard more clearly, "Four years." He made a sound of pain and took a step back from her staring at her as if she were a stranger, "I..." his mind flashed back to what his life had been like for those last four years without her to hold in his arms at night and to his own surprise, he felt tears building in his eyes, "I was going to ask you to marry me." He thought back to how he had dealt with her absence as the woman in his life for those years, the one night stands that he had how desperately he had tried to find someone to replace her in his life only to fail at every turn, "I was going to ask you to marry me."

It was Celina who then felt the tears building up in her eyes, "We can get married, Dutch.. it isn't too late." She felt as if her heart were being pulled apart as she tried to convince him that it wasn't too late for them to have their life together, "We can both make it out of this mess." She sniffled, "I..." She wanted to tell him in hopes that it would go to show him how much he meant to her, "I haven't slept with anyone since we ended things." She stared at him hopefully, "I never again wanted to be like that with anyone else Dutch... even before I realized that I was still in love with you." She stared up at him with wide, pained eyes, "That has to say something, right?"

Dutch continued to stare at her with an unreadable expression before he waved her off and hung his head before leaving the tent. She could just barely hear him mutter under his breath as he walked away, "I- I can't."

********  
A/N: Celina is officially trying to get back with Dutch you guys, she really wants the two of them to be back on track before she sets off to save the others. She really is scared that she may not make it back alive but we'll see what happens. I hope that you all enjoyed this chapter and this one will count as tomorrows chapter. Hope you don't mind me posing it early but I just couldn't bring myself to wait to do so.

Anyways, what are your thoughts on the current state of the relationship between Celina and Dutch and what do you think will happen between the two of them? Will they be able to make things right again and finally have a future together or what do you think will happen? Any thoughts on what will happen once she leaves Tall Trees either? Looking forward to the comments you guys, keep them coming and I will most certainly keep writing!

Disclaimer: I do not own Red Dead Redemption 1 or 2 or anything associated with it.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: This is the only chapter which will hold smut, so enjoy it! Please leave me some good comments, as silly as it seems, I get rather discouraged when I don't receive too many.

Disclaimer: I do not own Red Dead Redemption 1 or 2 or anything associated with it.

...

It was the next evening and Celina had started moving around Dutch's camp at Tall Trees more and more throughout the day. Her wound was healing quickly and the pain from it was being kept at a minimum due to the Native's talents with natural medicine which they had supplies her. She, from the short time she had been there was fitting in nicely with the lot of them, priding herself on the fact that she already had stored some of their names successfully in her memory. She couldn't help but find it funny that each time she and Dutch interacted in front of Horses Run, the older woman would smile at them knowingly as if she was getting proof of some of the best gossip around.

Currently, Celina was debating on whether or not she should go and pay Dutch some attention. The man who she had spent the last eleven- almost twelve years in love with (whether she knew it or not) had holed himself away in hit tent, or rather tee-pee for the night under the claim that he needed to go over his map and make a decision on where he was going to be running off to before everything started going down and getting real messy. Celina had already told him going north into Canada was the way to go but Dutch being Dutch of course would have to come to that conclusion on his own before going along with it whole-heartedly. She took a deep breath and raked her hair back from her face with her right hand before starting towards his shelter.

It was weird, she thought the way he had been acting towards her since she had arrived at the camp the previous morning. Maybe weird wasn't exactly the right way to put it but it was definitely a little confusing. One moment he would be looking at her like she held all the secrets of the universe and could make everything right in the world. He would take her hand in his and right when she thought that he was really opening his heart to her- right when she allowed herself to think the two of them just might be able to right their wrongs towards one another, he would pull away. Right when she thought maybe he was going to take her back, right when she thought that he would kiss her, he would stop himself and suddenly throw up his walls again. It hurt Celina to know that he was so close yet so far away. It hurt her to know she had thrown away four years which she could have spent with him and it hurt her to know how deeply she had hurt him by leaving. However, there was nothing she could do about any of that- there was nothing anyone could to about that now and they just needed to move past it.

She fidgeted with her hands and licked her lips slowly, taking slow steps towards his tee-pee. They needed to move past what had happened in the past four years and make it clear once and for all where they stood with one another. She needed to know, se had to know for sure what they were to one another. She wanted him to know what he was to her before she went off on what could very well be the last mission of her life. They needed to right things once and for all before she took the chance of never seeing him again and that was what she was going to do when she reached his tee-pee.

Celina entered the small shelter cautiously but without bothering to knock and took in the image of Dutch who lied on his back on his cot, shirtless and holding a book up as he read it by the light of the lantern sitting next to him. He slowly turned his attention to her when she entered, clearing his throat, "Celina, what is it?"

Celina looked at him for a moment silently, "We need to talk."

"Do we?"

"Do we not?" She stepped further inside, "I am in love with you and I don't think that I ever fell out of love with you, not truly... not really." She looked down at her hands almost awkwardly, "I want you." She met his gaze at that, "Right here, right now and forever. I want to marry you, Dutch." She gave him a small smile, "More than anything in the world."

Dutch raised a brow at her in interest and folded the page of his book over before sitting it on the ground and sitting up slowly, "Is that so?"

She nodded, tears pricking her eyes at the beautiful truth that she was so blessed to be able to stand before him and tell him how she felt after all of the years they had spent apart, "Yes. I.. I love you, Dutch." She hesitated for moment and shifted her weight from one foot to the other, eyeing him with a touch of sorrow before putting together her words, "I... I am going to be honest with you. This thing I am doing now, trying to save the gang... I might die doing it, Dutch. I'm- I'm a little worried that I may not make it back. The federal law, they're going to be involved in trying to take all of you down and they're going to be involved heavily so there is a good chance if I'm caught mixed up in the mess of all of this that I will go down too and I'll die." He opened his mouth to say something but she spoke over him, getting him to save whatever he had to say, "I am going to do this anyway and there is nothing you can do to stop me. I know what you may think of it- of me risking my life partially to save Bill, you may think that I still love him. Truth is, I did love him and I am sure he will always hold a piece of my heart. Regardless, Dutch, my heart is and always will be loyal to you. If you take me back now then I will commit fully to you. I'll still go off to save the boys, but I will be committed to you emotionally and physically always and forever." She held back the tears which threatened to escape from her eyes, "If I make it back from all of this then I will find you again, Dutch and I want us to get married and go off to Tahiti with Jimmy and Ryder for the rest of our lives eating mangoes and running a farm."

Dutch continued to just stare at her silently for another long moment after she finished talking until finally, he slowly got up from his cot and wordlessly strode across the tee-pee to her. He raised a hand to cup the side of her face and the emotion and love that he held in his dark eyes- well, there simply wasn't enough words to describe it. Slowly, they leaned closer to one another until their lips met in the first kiss they had shared in four years. Celina melted into the kiss as naturally as she always had when they shared a kiss with that much emotion, that much love there between the two of them and moved her arms to wrap them around his neck, his moving to wrap around her waist.

They pulled away slowly after a moment or slow and Dutch smiled the sweetest of smiles down at her, "I have never stopped loving you." When a tear pricked at her eyes, he trailed a finger down the side of her face affectionately, "You are just as beautiful as the day I met you all those years ago. Don't you go crying on me." He placed another kiss on her lips, "I am so sorry for all I have ever put you through. The fact that you had to leave to keep me from hurting you again- or the kids, I am sorry." His lips twitched upwards in a small smile, "I was hoping that one of these days, sooner than now you would come around and take me back. The fact remains though that I an very aware that I do not deserve a woman like you. Not even a bit." He kissed her again, "If you have to leave and do what you need to do, I will not like it but I think that after all of these years it is finally clear to me that if there is something you have set your mind on, I have no power nor right to try to stop you. Saving our family is something that I should be out there doing beside you but with the price there is on my head, I understand I cannot. So," He stroked his fingers through her long dark hair affectionately, "I see that I have no real choice but to het you go and demand that you return to me. When you get back," He stared right into her eyes, not daring to look away for even a second, "We will leave with Jimmy and Ryder to Tahiti- about time we actually go there, and we will get married which it is about time that we do that too."

Celina nodded with a sniffle and smiled at him, for once feeling that she may actually get the life she had always wanted sine first realizing how in love with Dutch she was eleven years ago, "You still have to propose to me."

Dutch chuckled good-naturedly, the smile meeting his eyes, "I guess that is some incentive for you to get back to me as quickly as possible."

Celina placed her hands on his bare chest, playing with the curly hair covering it lightly, "If I don't you need to take the boys back from Arthur and Sadie and get the three of you as far away and lost from here as possible."

"You'll make it back to me, to us. You will. Hell, you're the woman who survived the bullet to the stomach after the Saint Denis bank which could very well have killed you. You're the woman who fought off a pack of wolves on your way our here and years before ripped a man's jugular out with your teeth. You're the woman who has got me to open my eyes and accept the fact that I can be quite an idiot countless times." He shook his head as if he couldn't believe al she had done to prove her worth, "Of all people you are the one I have the most faith and trust in. You are the woman that I want by my side and in my bed every night for the rest of eternity."

Celina couldn't help but smile and feel heat rise to her cheeks in a blush despite herself. She but down on her bottom lip and shook her head slightly back at him, "I think that you might want to remember that for your vows to me."

"Worry not, those words are not nearly enough to express the extent of my love for you and our family." Happiness sparked in his dark eyes, "You have not the first clue how truly happy I am that you came into my life and that you're now accepting me fully back into yours."

Celina just smiled up at him, "I don't think that really compares to how happy I am that I finally realized I never stopped loving you."

"I should have tried harder," Dutch dipped his head a bit, "To get you to realize that sooner."

"I don't know if you could have," she licked her lips, "I don't know if anyone could have. Just one of those things that I had to realize on my own. You know? I-"

She was cut off abruptly by his lips meeting hers with more hunger and aggression than before. Dutch's hands roamed her body as if she were found water just as he was dying of thirst and she kissed him back with just as much need, her hands going up to his hair which had grown to the point he could slick it back again. She twisted her fingers in it, causing him to moan as she tugged at it.

She granted Dutch's tongue access to her mouth quickly, sucking on it add it went in and out, exploring the nooks and crannies of her mouth. Their tongues twisted together, massaging against one another in the most arousing manner and causing her to go weak in the knees, feeling heat pool between her legs.

The woman let out an involuntary gasp when Dutch suddenly fisted her hair and yanked her head back, exposing her neck to him and attacking her jawline with his teeth in light bites which easily clouded her train of thought. She moaned as he licked and kissed at her left ear, his breath hitting against it. She pulled him harder against her so that their bodies were flush against one another's, being the bulge growing in his pants as he continued his assault on her neck. She eventually pushed him back a bit before meeting his mouth with hers once again, this time her tongue exploring his mouth before she broke away and began trailing kisses and nips down his throat only for him to le out a low growl of arousal and lift her face back up towards his, crashing his lips back onto hers and driving her back towards his cot where he climbed on top of her.

Celina's breathing increased to be faster by the second as he unbuttoned her shirt with his teeth and slid it from her shoulders with her compliance. His large hands cupped her breasts upon removing her bra, massaging them gently as he trailed kisses further down her body and to the waistband of her pants, making eye contact with her as he stuck his longue just inside the waistband and began to lick the skin there so slowly it was nearly torturous. The woman moaned as she bucked her hips demandingly against his face and grabbed at his hair with her right hand, trying to force his tongue deeper, "Dutch, dammit. Please."

A knowing smile flitted across is lips and he grabbed onto her pants with his teeth, pulling them down slowly in that manner, tweaking her nipple between his fingers as he did so. Her back arched and she cried out in pleasure, "Please." The plead came out so quietly it could barely be heard but by the look on Dutch's face, he heard it. He trailed his hands down her body using them to assist him with removing her pants, leaving her in only her underwear. He licked his lips slowly at the sight before him, almost in a predatory way before hovering his face right over her heat and giving it one slow, warm lick through her underwear.

Celina cried out to him again, and moved to tug her panties down, so desperate to feel him again after the time they had spent apart. He stopped her though, pinning her hands down against her torso before giving another lick, making her hips buck violently, underwear wet with both his saliva and her arousal. He licked again and again causing Celina's eyes to roll back in her head momentarily in pleasure. He buried his face between her legs and let out a low chuckle before relenting and removing her underwear as well, much to her excitement. It was then that he returned his face to her core, trailing his tongue directly over the warm and wet skin which she kept bare, causing her to cry out again and buck her hips once again against his face in need.

Dutch sucked on her clit expertly, thick fingers pumping in and out of her slowly at first before picking up to a quicker and more demanding pace. He licked her folds after removing his fingers and slowly slid his tongue into her, earning a gasp of pleasure as she immediately intertwined her fingers in his hair once more, Dutch smiled against her as he fucked her with his tongue deep and fast, his hands trailing back up her body to tweak her nipples, leaving her in an almost incoherent state of mind. She began to tremble as she got closer and closer to her climax and he picked up his pace, going faster and harder against her, "Common now," He replaced his tongue with his fingers for optimal speed, "You're gonna cum for me. Cum for Dutch. I wanna taste you."

That was all she needed to let go and let her orgasm rip through her stronger than ever before, her leg began to thump uncontrollably as it so often did whenever she met her release and Dutch met her heat with his tongue again, kicking every last drop off the surface and burrowing his tongue inside her once more for good measure. She watched his with eyes wide with arousal as he took his time to lick up every last drop, never breaking his gaze from hers. Celina took in a shaky breath before sitting up and meeting him with a kiss, his tongue invading her mouth to give her a taste of herself which she sucked on, moaning against him. She smiled lustfully as she pulled away, "I've missed this."

"Oh trust me, darling, I have too." Dutch smiled at her and looked down towards his waist when he felt her unfastening his belt, "Well aren't you eager."

She let out a breathy laugh, "You have no idea. I've been wanting this ever since I left Saint Denis." Dutch climbed off the cot and stood up to make removing his pants easier for her which she did without wasting a second, pulling his underwear down as well and commanding him to step out of it before she wrapped her hand around his big thick cock and began to stroke slowly. She looked up at him with her beautiful blue eyes, "I am going to make you realize just how much you missed me." Without further warning, she wrapped her lips around the head and gave a sharp suck, causing him to shout in pleasure before sliding the rest of his length into her mouth, taking it down her throat. His hips snapped against her and his hand fisted her hair, ripping her back from his dick. He looked down at her who still sat on the cot, his breathing labored, "If you're gonna do stuff like that then people are going to hear what we're in here doing."

Celina smiled up at him mischievously, "Who ever said that I don't want them to know?"

Dutch's eyes widened, "Good lord woman." He brought her up to his cock again and stared down at her, enchantedly as she took it back into her mouth and began moving her kips up and down it with a tight suction which she was well aware drove him crazy. He groaned again and pulled her off of him, not able to take it any longer. She stared up at him with wide eyes and opened her mouth to say something before he pushed her back on the cot and climbed on top of her, pinning her to it and smiling in a predatory manner down at her, "You come all the way out here, to my camp which is over a day away with the intent of getting fucked by me?"

Celina stared up at him and into his dark eyes before nodding, "Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes, I came out here wanting you to fuck me."

"What if I said no. Would you try to take it from me anyway?"

She licked her lips, breath hitching at the thought, "Yes."

He smiled slowly before moving against her in a way that made his hard dick slide across her wet heat, making her gasp loudly. He did it again and again, "Because you want it so bad, I am going to fuck you harder tonight then anyone else has ever fucked you. Harder that I have ever fucked you. Do you understand?"

"Yes," She swallowed, "I understand."

He smiled down at her, "Good." It was then that he attached hip lips to her neck and bit down just hard enough to make her cry out in a mixture of pleasure and pain. He licked and sucked at the spot, trying to sooth it as he continued to slide his dick across her core, making her wetter and wetter with each stroke. Then suddenly, he entered her hands free, making her eyes widen at the sudden intrusion and eliciting a loud gasp which seconded as a moan. Dutch waited for a moment before beginning to pump into her, picking up his speed and ferocity with each stroke. He buried his face in the crook of her neck as he pumped fast and hard, "They're gonna hear you scream for me. Everyone in this camp, they're going to hear you scream my name." He pulled out of her almost completely before slamming his hips back against hers roughly.

"Dutch!" She yelled his name just as he said she would without quite thinking and dug her fingers into his back, reaching her climax and spasming once again, her walls clenching around him as he but down on is lip in attempt to keep from cumming himself as he continued to thrust in and out of her through her orgasm.

Dutch chuckled, "We always were great together."

Celina drew in air sharply, raising her hips against his with each thrust. Suddenly, Dutch flipped the two of them over so that she was on top of him. She held herself over him on her knees with shaky legs, her said legs were too tingly at the moment to feel any sort of pain from her wolf-given injury. Keeping eye contact with him and breathing heavily, Celina climbed back onto his erect cock and began to ride him fast and hard with her hands flat against his chest for support. She watched as Dutch tipped his head back in pleasure with a long drawn out moan and she leaned forwards, kissing at his exposed throat as she continued to ride him, grinding her hips against his delightfully.

Dutch tried to say something but was rendered speechless by the amount of pleasure she was providing to him. She was the only one who could make him feel this way. She was always the only one who could make him feel this way. The only one who could take care of him like she did and he loved it. Good lord he loved it. He grabbed her by her hips and began to lift her up and slam her down on his cock. There was one thing he did manage to say, "What do you say we make another baby?"

Even through her nearly blinding arousal, Celina could feel her heart throb n the best way possible at that question. She nodded. She wanted a biological kid by Dutch which they could raise since birth as husband and wife. Nothing sounded better. He smiled up at her, catching her nod and began to slam her down on him harder and harder, making her let out a sound of pleasure each time he filled her, "Dutch," She kissed him and curled her fingers into his chest hair as she felt herself clenching around him, "I'm gonna-" She was unable to finish her sentence as she came for the third time that night.

At that, Dutch met his release as well, bucking his hips up into her hard as he did so, Celina moaning at the feeling of the warm liquid shooting up inside her. He pulled her back down towards him, wrapping his strong arms around him and holding her against his body, each of them covered in sweat of their own and the others. He kissed her forehead lovingly, closing his eyes, "I was so stupid to ever let you go."


End file.
